This Week 16th January to 22nd January

This week's focus: Full Steam Ahead!


Yes, I know it's three words, but I don't care. I need something to pump me up and keep me motivated! The exhibition is on Friday and I need to finish 2 paintings minimum, plus the zine. Plus doing all the "little" things that make me feel like I can justify not getting a job for another week, like doing the dishes, making dinner, mowing the lawn, etc.

I've already learned something important this week: sometimes you just have to mow your own damned lawn! (No, that's not a metaphor.)

This Week: 9th January to 15th January

This week's focus: focus


Ha, ha, get it?
Last week I did have a word, but I didn't blog about it. The word was RENEWING (for the new year, obviously). And I industriously went about renewing my to-do list, my master list, my craft projects list, my reading list etc etc. It felt quite good to overhaul everything, especially my craft projects I had so many (over 50) on my "in-progress" list, and nothing was happening with them. I did very little craft last year -- it made me sad when I realised just how little. I don't know if it was that, or if it was updating my active, current, on-hold categories, etc. But I've done much more crafting in the last week than I've done in a long time.


This week's word is FOCUS. Because I really need to knuckle down with getting the paintings and zine ready for the exhibition, which opens next Friday. (arrgghh!) I also decided that I would call the agency and get a job this week. Though I'm currently trying to think of a hundred reasons to delay it. (Delay it more! It was originally going to be last week!) Not least of which is that I've just made an appointment for a diabetes test, which is on Thursday morning.

Work, Writing and other 'Wr' Words

I'm at home at the moment. I'm in job limbo -- technically my job has ended, but only because the funding has run out, NOT because the work has run out. So I'm at home, not knowing if more funding for my position is going to be approved. I could always call the temp agency and ask if there's any work at the moment, but I think I'm giving myself a couple of weeks off. It's the time of year for it. But I digress: I didn't want to talk about work today.

It's Tuesday and I haven't yet renewed Ralph (my weekly to-do list and tracker) or chosen a word for the week. And I'm perfectly fine with that. I hadn't filled up the page last week anyway, there's room for more. Perhaps the word I would choose would be "Relax", only I could still get a call saying the funding has been approved and to go into work. Part of me thinks, "you know it's unlikely to happen so soon, you may as well relax and plan as if you're having this week off." Part of me can't quite do that, though.

I haven't written much here because I've been participating in the Secret Star Society. It's a lot of fun and I've been able to head off some Stuff at the pass by writing about it and sharing it there. But there are a few things I'm still hesitant about. I get most of the sections, but I'm still having trouble with Rally. It's for processing and working on projects, I know that. But it seems really daunting. Perhaps I should re-read the Book of Rally Keys? When I read it the first time though, I got the impression that Rally was this big thing that you need to set aside at least one full day for. Create a safe sanctuary-like space, quiet time, etc. Do proper entry and exit. (I haven't even learned ways that these work best for myself yet!)

But on the other hand, I love how you can talk about anything, from the heart-wrenching to the trivial, without fear of judgement. I can write about my mixed feelings on not buying as many christmas presents this year as in past years. I haven't even started thinking about how I'm going to cope with christmas day yet! It's so comforting to know that other people are going through similar situations, and also that I can leave a comment of support. I've been on for just over a week, and I'm starting to feel a sense of community.

It's just struck me as funny that I'm writing about writing. And now I'm writing about writing about writing! Just write. That's what an article I read earlier this morning said.

Speaking of writing, I've been hesitant to work on the colitis-themed zine. I've been unable to decide how far to go. I could tell all the stories of my experiences, but they're really quite disgusting. I want to share my experiences and speak the truth, but I don't want to gross people out. I'd been thinking about this for a couple of weeks. Then yesterday (the first day of my lack-of-funding-imposed exile, coincidentally), I accidentally went back to sleep after Husband went to work. When I woke up, a name popped into my head. It was the most ridiculous, gnomey, pantomimey name, it made me laugh. I wrote it down so I didn't forget it later, and went on with my day. A few hours later I realised -- I can use this character! He can be the one to tell the stories! I will abrogate all responsiblity and blame for grossing people out onto this character. It was quite exciting.

Quick Update

Just checking in quickly to say - I don't have much to say!
Week 4 of my new job is cruising along much as the others. I was hoping to start exercising again this week, but so far I've been out every night this week after work. Phew! That's not like me at all! Friday night will be my first night in, yup!, and I'm planning on spending it relaxing and vegging out in front of the computer and/or TV. There'll plenty of weekend of weekend left for the getting of fresh air and the sweating of pores.

One good thing I've noticed in the last few weeks - drinking a (1 lt) bottle of water every day seems to be an ingrained habit for me now. In fact, instead of feeling full and bloated afterwards, I actually want to drink more! I'll see if I can get a bigger bottle for work.

I'll post the review of my GlossyBox Beauty Box tomorrow night. I've been meaning to write it all week, but ... see above! My "I Love This Box" is also waiting for me at the post office at the moment, but I won't get time to pick it up until Saturday. It's getting a bit crazy really, getting 3 beauty boxes a month! I will definitely have to cut back once the probation period is over. I also bought a glitter nail polish the other day:


Not my fingers. Photo schlurped from this blog.

It's Rimmel 'Disco Ball'. They're 'in' at the moment and I just couldn't resist! Though apparently I'm a bit behind the times, because they were sold out of all glitter nail polishes at K-mart! After searching for ages, I finally managed to find one bottle on the bottom shelf at the back under a completely different brand at the opposite end of the section from the Rimmel display. Befuddled, but bought it anyway!

I'll say goodbye with a link to a 1950s magazine with an article on Marilyn Monroe's Health Routine. I wonder if she actually said all of those things, or they were the result of some creative editing! (Make sure to keep clicking 'Next' to see all 4 pages!)

It's a Monday kind of feeling...

Monday comes around again.

Last week it was my determination to eat right and move right all week. Well, up until Saturday, anyway! (Some events are important enough that you have to be content to regret, not to prevent.) I did well on the eating during the week (perhaps "too well" at one point: I got a bit dizzy) but not well at all on the exercising. Can I only concentrate on one thing at a time?? But there are so many things I want to change about myself! So unfair! But if I persist with something long enough, it can become a habit, and then I can concentrate on something else. Like when I swapped from having chocolate to having a milo whenever I had a sweet craving in the afternoons at work. If I can make that a habit, then I can do it with other things too. I think I've read that 3 weeks is the standard amount of time where persistence magically transforms into habit. So perhaps my Weekly Focus isn't the right tack to go about things? Perhaps it should be a Monthly Focus?

(When I was in high school, if you ever used the word 'monthly' in front of boys - they'd snigger. You had to be very careful what words you used in high school!)

The only problem with that approach is - I'm impatient! I want to exercise more now! Go to bed half-an-hour earlier now! Drink at least 2 lt water per day now! Stop eating dessert now! Drink green tea every day now! Meditate effectively now! Find a sure-fire way to eliminate my cravings now!
I'm starting to sound like one of those self-help gurus! But you get the point - very impatient. Really do demand a lot of myself, don't I? No wonder I get so worked up and stressed out. No wonder I've developed high blood pressure. (Found that out last week.)


Gotta relax...
gotta relax...
gotta relax...
eeek!
(Just kidding.)

I did really well to increase my water intake to 1 lt per day over the last week. I was proud of myself for that. So for the rest of this month I'll focus on increasing to 2 lt per day, also making sure I carry water when I exercise. Here's a pretty picture to inspire me:



Source: google.com on Pinterest.

A New Week ... Again

Felt terrible all day yesterday. I didn't think I drank that much on Saturday night! But I did mix champagne and spirits, which is always guaranteed to Royally screw me up.

Did manage to catch up with some friends yesterday, though. Have to admit - lately I always feel jealous when they talk about their latest achievements with their personal trainers or in exercise classes. I adore my friends and I'm proud of their achievements, don't get me wrong. I've noticed I feel the same way whenever I see someone jogging down the street or around the park. I don't want to look like them (especially the men, hah!) - I want to be as fit as them. I see them when I'm on the way to work in the morning, and I'm jealous that they have the time and the energy. I just feel so tired all the time lately. It's been worse the last few weeks. Don't know if it's because I've had bad hayfever most of the time, or I've been staying up later than normal most nights. I'm not going to whinge and complain too much, because it's probably self inflicted! Anyhow, I'm not the type of person to pout and wallow. If there's something I'm unhappy about, I say to myself, "right, what can I do about it?" I treat it like a problem-solving exercise. I write out lists and make decisions. Sometimes I follow through and sometimes I don't, but I usually end up feeling better.

So I had a chat with Boy about it and we decided to go to bed earlier. It seems like most nights when we watch TV, the so-so shows are on earlier, and then our favourite shows are on around-about bedtime. (Yes, it's kinda sad that our lives revolve around TV. They do on weeknights anyway, I'll admit that!) So we're going to go through and set the recorder to tape all of the later ones and watch them earlier in the evening when the so-so shows are on. Then we'll go to bed early like good boys and girls. That's the plan.

I'll make that my weekly focus for at least this week and possibly next week, too. Try and make it a habit. Then in a few weeks' time, I'll look into stepping up my exercise routine. That's the plan.

Monday Again!

This week I'm feeling pretty good. Had quite a bit of energy so far today. Considering it's Monday! And Monday means it statistics time again, hah! This time I thought I'd turn my tracker summary into a graph:



In a word: terrible!
Although, now I look at it, I see that I did better with exercise than I thought. I did exercise 4 1/2 days (my aim is 5). It's just that I didn't do what the schedule said, on the days that it says, that's all. So no need for the old beat-up. I deliberately made it flexible - my plans can change, and I know how I work. It doesn't matter when it happens or how it happens, what matters is that it happens!

I'm feeling really energetic and perky today, I can't wait til lunchtime so I can go for my walk. Wish I felt like this every day! What have I been doing/eating to bring this on?? I'm really glad because last week I had some pretty bad problems with my anxiety. I kept forgetting to try and meditate and kept worrying about everything until I felt sick. Then suddenly last night I remembered my technique for when I'm feeling that way - to stop and think "what's happening right now?" Maybe that does really help more than I realise.

Measurements Monday

Weighed myself and took my measurements this morning. The last few days I'd been feeling thinner. B even noted that I looked thinner when I mentioned it to her. So I thought, heck, it's been about a month since I last did it, I'll just see what they are.
My weight is exactly the same as it was 3 weeks ago. To the decimal point. How can it be exactly the same? It seems like a bizarre coincidence. I'm a little freaked out by that. Not by the fact that it hasn't gone down so much, but by the fact that the number is exactly the same. (I have to admit, I was a little discouraged.) So I took my measurements as well to see what was going on there. The last time I measured myself was about 2 months ago, so I'm comparing to that. Well, that was a nice surprise! All my measurements are down: chest -1.5cm, waist & hips -1cm each, and thigh -0.25cm. I thought I'd been feeling thinner!

Meanwhile ...

My Weekly Focus last week was to make up an exercise schedule and try it out. Look for the strengths and weaknesses. And they're plain to see. Strengths: sticking to the schedule early in the week (when I have more motivation). Weaknesses: exercising after I get home at night, and exercising on the weekends. Now I have to decide if I want to change the schedule to fit in with those weaknesses, or try to change myself to eliminate those weaknesses. I'll have a think about it.

In Other News...

In my discussion last week, I decided that I wanted to try giving meditation a serious go. Every day. That seemed very daunting, but starting off with 30 seconds seemed very do-able. Then increasing to 60 seconds when I feel comfortable with that. Then seeing how I go. For the next 3 weeks. So I've done 30-60 seconds (I don't time it exactly) every day since last Friday. Well, that's only 3 days so far, but you know! I do it in bed at night before going to sleep. Somehow I wonder if that's cheating in a way, as I'm not actually putting aside special time to do it. Probably as the time gets longer I'll change that. Some sessions are harder than others. Perhaps I'll talk about why that is later at some point. Right now I'm going to get some breakfast!

Glorious Food!

Another crazy week last week! Food was all over the place, partly because of some things that people brought into work. I couldn't resist. If something's home-made, it's polite to try some. And I was feeling pretty sorry for myself, so I couldn't resist the fund-raising choc bars. And I went out for dinner Sat and lunch Sun, again, times when I have trouble choosing wisely. I've thinking more about price than healthiness lately.
As for my focus, I managed to get to bed at 10pm most weeknights, but on Thursday I was late cos one of my favourite shows was on. I suppose I could have taped it, but sometimes I don't get time to watch things for weeks or even months, and it's easier to just watch it.

This week, though, things are a bit more certain, so I'm feeling more myself and want to get back on track. This morning I made appointments to do all the things I've been putting off for ages. Which is great! - but at the same time, I hope I don't start to feel too overwhelmed like I sometimes can. I'll decide on this week's focus later this afternoon.

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New and Fun!

We got a Kinect on the weekend! It's so fun. Spent about an hour on it on Sat, and a couple of hours on Sun. I was ducking, jumping, dancing, flapping my arms. Got all sweaty and thirsty. I was exercising without even realising it! It's fantastic! I was getting a bit bored with exercising lately. Walking, more walking, DVDs I've done so many times before. I thought about joining a gym (there's a Curves about half a block from me), going to Zumba classes, buying more DVDs - but I'm a bit short on money at the moment, and most of those seem like ongoing expenses. I know what you're thinking! The Kinect cost a lot of money, too! But it's something Boy and I can both enjoy together, we can use it indoors, any time. Also, he got it on sale, and it came with 4 games, which is enough to keep us going for ages. Plus I think it's a psychological thing, too. When we're playing the game, it's a game (yay!), not exercising (ugh). Anyway, enough with justifying my actions for today!

Looking back at my Tracker for last week, I had a pretty topsy-turvy week. Didn't do very well in my focus of drinking more water, in the end. Remembered to refill my water bottle most days, didn't end up drinking the water. My mind's just been on other things. So I'll put that back on the drawing board for a future focus. As for everything else, I started out well on Monday, as usual, but then was pretty half-hearted the rest of the week. e.g. having homemade dip, but with pizza shapes instead of vegetable sticks. Last weekend we were too busy go shopping for all the things we needed for the week (like vege sticks!), and then I didn't get around to getting any after work during the week. A bit of pre-planning can make the rest of the week so much easier, and healthier. Lesson learned. (Or re-learned actually, cos I've done that many times before! :) )

Anyway, I'm going to make my Focus this week: lights out at 10pm every night. I have a tendency to go to bed late. (Last night for example, there was a good movie on and I stayed up til it finished at 11pm. Ooops!) Even if I do get to bed at 10pm, I tend to sit up reading for a while. I have a feeling this week is going to be a stressful week. Well, it has been so far, hopefully it'll get better! But getting enough sleep can't do me any harm, right?

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A Few Things

Been wanting to eat all morning. Can't stop thinking about food. It must be the comfort factor. Haven't been going too well with my Focus this week either. Still have that thought that I can't stop and relax or meditate, I have to always be doing something. Though half the time, that something ends up being watching TV or surfing the internet. Which is kinda relaxing in its own way, but not fulfulling, and definitely not in the spirit of what I'm trying to do. This morning I woke up early and was lying in bed, trying to get back to sleep and hearing strange noises in the lounge and wondering if it was just the cat or if it was robbers coming to steal my laptop or something! For a second I almost contemplated counting that in as relaxing time ... who am I kidding? How desperate must I be??!

My colitis is starting to settle down a bit too, thank goodness, after over a month of being all hinky. Ironically, I started taking a lower dose of my medication, and that's when it started to settle. Sometimes I feel like a human guinea pig - I've had colitis for over 5 years now and still experimenting with different medications and different doses. But other factors also affect it a lot, especially stress. Which is why I decided to try (again) to start a regular relaxation/meditation ... thingy. (Don't really have a problem with the word 'practice', but I somehow feel it's wrong for me personally to use it yet - it should only be used by people who are better at it than I am. Is that a bit wierd?)

Anyway, I have a long history of giving up on things, even when I know they're doing me good, and even when I enjoy them. Like Yoga Wednesday. Or painting symbols that express my feelings. Or my Bed-to-Couch jogging programme. Well, that last one was because I got sick, but I still continued walking. I keep telling myself, "you gotta step it up, you gotta do more, if you want to lose weight". "You gotta start exercising harder, stop eating dessert, etc etc" I feel like I'm in cruise-control mode at the moment. I'm doing the things that are easy. I don't have the energy and/or motivation to do the things that're hard lately. I'm wanting to feel that sense of satisfaction I get from refusing to eat something unhealthy. The need for comfort is winning out more. I hope things will change soon.

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Blech!

Well, blech! I've been feeling all blecchy lately. I feel tired, weak and stiff. And I'm sick of it! No wonder, really. I only did proper exercise 1 day last week. Did do quite a few mail runs (the ones that involve a 20min walk - I've timed it - they sort of half-count). But no proper exercise. I'm sick of feeling this way! And finally weighed myself this morning after getting new batteries for the scales - and I've put on 1.5kgs. Blergh. I guess it could have been worse though, but still - I'd rather see the scales going down than up. I'm never going to lose a satisfactory amount of weight by November!! And why is it always so cold and dark? I don't feel like exercising cos, by the time I get home, it's dark. And cold. Blergh! When will winter end??!

Sorry about all the whingeing ... Now what can I do about it??

I haven't been eating my boiled egg every morning recently, and I've really been noticing the difference. Boy says he has, too. I have less energy, and when I get to work, I'm absolutely starving. So I'm going to make sure I have my egg every morning.

This week I made my Focus: "To exercise every day to the best of my ability." Maybe it sounds a bit wussy when I put it that way, but was feeling really tired yesterday when I decided on it, and I think I just wanted to give myself a bit of a break, and not beat myself up too much if I don't do some crazy, pumped-up workout every single day. I know that I'm probably feeling so tired because I haven't done any exercise lately, it's like a vicious circle, but it can be fixed!

Another funny thing is - last night I made my own butter. No idea what got into me! Butter, so unhealthy. But more healthy than margarine, some say. It was interesting anyway. So we're using a little in our mashed potato, and the buttermilk we're saving to make maybe pancakes or scones. I eat less bread than I used to, so using less margarine anyway. Or is that just an excuse?

Seeing as I've put on weight, I can't keep on thinking like this.

Later That Day ...

Really gotta lose weight. That's what I keep thinking to myself. I've been lucky so far. But if I get a job where I have to wear more formal clothes to work, then I'll be very unhappy. I look terrible in a shirt. The buttons down the front make my tummy look bigger. If I get one that's loose, I look like a solid block, and if I get one that's fitted, I don't fill it out up top, and I look like a solid block with puffs of fabric on it. So that's why I keep thinking, the only solution to this is to lose weight. The more it seems like I might have to get a different job, the more stressed out I'm getting about this particular point. Gotta lose weight, that's the only way to solve this problem. I don't really hate my body, I just hate the way it looks. Hm, does that make sense? I'm a bit worried that it doesn't.

Off for a walk now!

This post was transferred from calorieking.com.au

Crazy Stuff

Things have been a bit topsy-turvy so far this week. Had a job interview yesterday, so all my energy was focussed on that. Any healthy things I've done so far this week have been accidental.

I haven't been focusing on my focus! There are too many good TV shows on at 9.30-10pm to be going to bed early! So unfair! Just gonna try to do the best I can, considering. My motivation level right now is set to medium.

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Monday Thoughts

The start of another week! Think I did really well with last week's focus, on staying in the moment and not stressing. Every time I started to think about the things that are stressing me out right now, I took a deep breath and told myself, there's nothing you can do about it right now. Enjoy what you're doing right now and put your focus on that. It seemed to work most of the time. It got easier the more I did it. Except for a couple of times when I wasn't even thinking about anything and my heart started pounding anyway and it wouldn't stop no matter what I did. Dunno what's going on there!

This week again I had trouble choosing what to focus on. Some of them I wasn't sure if I could do for a whole week. But I've done well so far, haven't I? I'm really bad at going to bed at the proper time, so this week I've decided I'll go to bed at 9.30 every night. I normally sit up and read for up to half an hour, so that makes 10pm. I don't know if I can do this every night!

Looking back at my tracker for last week, I did better on the weekend than I have before. It's because I was more motivated to exercise, and did something both days. Yay for me! I also had a lot more veges than normal on Sat because I had a healthy lunch. Double yay for me! Bought a pizza stone the weekend before, and been pretty obsessed with making pizza ever since. The stone makes it soooo good. But Boy and I make pizzas differently to how we used to - we make sure to add at least 2-3 different types of veges, and just a sprinkling of cheese on top. So they're kinda semi-healthy.


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Last Week

Another crazy weekend! I told myself I was going to pay a bit more attention to what I'm doing on the weekend, but it just passed by in a whirlwind. On Saturday I got 30%, and Sun 20%. Terrible! Every single meal was unhealthy, and a few times I only got a score at all because I didn't eat anything. Which is bad, too. Although, I think it's funny that I got a higher score on Saturday when I spent the whole day and evening out doing things, than on Sunday when I had a free day. Weird.

Anyway. Last week's focus was on combating cravings. And I think I did excellently! The only slip-up I had (if you can even call it that) was on Thursday when I had a vege-burger (home-made) instead of the roasted soybeans. But I'm calling that a win - the amount of time I spent wandering around the supermarket, agonising over every little thing, and I ended up choosing vege-burgers. I think I deserve credit for that! As for it turning into a habit, well, tonight I had some soybeans but also some chips. Was very stressed and have my Special Lady Pouty Time - what can I say?

I had a little trouble deciding on this week's Focus. Was very tired and had a busy morning, so I didn't really have the time or the energy to think about it. Then I was having lunch with a couple of friends, and one of them said that I shouldn't dwell on things. So there was my inspiration. My Focus this week is not to worry, not to dwell on things, live in the moment, be zen, however you want to put it. It's appropriate right now, I've got a few things going on that're a bit stressful, applying for jobs not the least of them. That always stresses me out, bigtime. So whenever I catch myself worrying about something, stressing about something I have/haven't done, dreading something that may/may not happen, I just bring myself back to the present. It'll be harder than last week's focus, because it's something I'll need to remember to do all day, every day. But I've been feeling less stressed already, and it's only day one. So yay!

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More from Weight Loss for Food Lovers. The next chapter is on Self-Sabotage. A topic close to my own heart. Some people find it hard to lose weight. Why?? He talks about what self-sabotage is and how it can come about and some simple strategies for overcoming it. He suggests to get professional help if these don't work. This topic, though fairly brief, was explained well and compassionately (which is what you'd expect coming from a psychologist!) I'll probably read it again, as it gave me some interesting food for thought. (heh, get it? sorry...)

Last night I did my best to stick to my Weekly Focus. Went to the health food shop on the way home to stock up on Omegas (I'd rather take 6 tablets a day than eat oily fish, blech!). Saw they had roasted soy beans, so I got some to try. Snacked on them while reading, along with a mug of green tea. Much, much healthier than the alternative! I'm proud of myself!


This post was transferred from calorieking.com.au

Was reading a little more of the Weight Loss book this morning. I'm trying to get through it so I can read some other books I have lined up. In the latest section he was talking about Meal Replacements (drinks and soups). I was a bit surprised. In a nutshell, he's for them, at least for people who need to lose weight a little bit more quickly for medical reasons. ... I can imagine people reading it thinking, who wouldn't want to lose weight a little bit more quickly?! Who cares if I have medical reasons or not?! ... To be fair, he does mention to make sure that you choose a brand (he doesn't mention any particular brands) that has been developed by a qualified nutritionist, which is good. Also, he only advocates them to replace meals where you'd just be eating quickly and/or mindlessly anyway - it really doesn't matter what you eat, and on top of that, you'd be more likely to eat something unhealthy. Not meals where you have time to eat mindfully or you'd be having fun and socialising with others. For him, that's meals like breakfast and morning tea. It differs for everyone. For some people, it's that time in the afternoon when you're craving something bad. That's what I can relate to! But is a meal replacement shake or soup the solution for me? (How is soup a meal replacement anyway?! Surely soup is a meal? Anyway...) I guess it would depend on whether a) the replacement has fewer calories than the food I would have eaten, and b) the replacement satisfies my cravings enough that I can resist eating any other foods. As for a), I quickly googled 'dietitian-approved meal replacements' and the one that came up had 'at least 850kj'. Obviously, you'd have half of that for a snack. And that's a lot less kjs than a giant chunk of ham topped with a chunk of cheese, or a chunk of bread smothered in peanut butter, often followed by some chocolates or candied nuts (for 'dessert' ;) ). So that's a yes for a).
As for b) ... how could half a glass of floury, fake-chocolate-flavoured soy protein make me feel more satisfied than the above-mentioned? I just can't see that happening, not in the long term, anyway. I'd need willpower to resist eating more, no matter what I chose to satisfy my hunger. Surely it would make more sense to eat something similar to what I'm craving, like a thin slice of toast with thin slices of ham and cheese, or a small handful of unsalted nuts. One thing I do know is that this is a danger time for me. The only time when I achieve a green tick for afternoon tea is on the weekend, when I'm too distracted to eat anything. I've noticed that often I'll eat something healthy at work, but then when I get home I just want to stuff my face with whatever I can find. It's something that I really need to fix, or else I'll have a lot of trouble losing weight. Often I do this (or do it worse) because I'm stressed. Sometimes just the trip home is stressful! Then I think, well, I deserve some chocolate. It'll make me feel better. Perhaps, if I'm not actually hungry, I need to replace food with a non-food thing that I 'deserve', instead. Is there anything that makes me feel better like food does?! I'll have to think about that one!

I've been told that I tend to over-think things. I certainly do think about things a lot, I'll say that! I can't believe I went on about this so much. But thinking about things and working them out is how I deal with things, and I enjoy writing, so I don't care. Now I want to concentrate on thinking of ways to deal with my cravings and change my after-work habits. Hmmm!

5.11pm - I've been thinking: I need motivation! I need variation! I need something new and novel! I'm a sucker for gimmicks! So I've decided to start a new 'thing' which I'm calling This Week's Focus. Every now and then I think to myself, "I should try and get to bed earlier", or "I should drink more water", or "I should exercise more", or "I should try to resist my cravings". (As I whinged on about earlier today!) But I never actually get around to doing it, not seriously, anyway. I thought if I focus on a different thing each week, it'd be fun. It's not too scary to do something new just for one week, is it? If it turns into a habit, that's great! And if it doesn't, well, it only had to be for a week, so there's no need to feel bad. Perhaps I'll try it again for another week sometime in the future. I made a space at the top of my tracker to put a statement/goal for the week. So this week it's:

* Focus On: Combating cravings and eating a healthy snack after work.
Every time I open it up, there's my focus in big, pretty-coloured letters. I'll see how I go! And if I can do it every day for a week, what will I reward myself with? Not food, that's for sure! ahhahah

This post was transferred from calorieking.com.au

Statistics Time

I'm a statistics nerd, so I thought I'd do a bit of a statistical overview of my tracker last week. So:

* I ate my pre-breakfast boiled egg 5 days out of 7.
* I ate healthy breakfast 5 days out of 7.
* I ate healthy morning tea 6 days out of 7. (2 days I didn't have any at all; I count that as healthy. And if it weren't for the Greatest Morning Tea on Weds, I would have gotten 100%!)
* I ate healthy lunch 4 days out of 7.
* I ate healthy afternoon tea 3 days out of 7. (And even one of those was doubtful.)
* I ate healthy dinner 5 days out of 7.
* I ate healthy dessert 0 days out of 7. (oops; my biggest downfall!)
* I exercised 4 days out of 7. (all 4 days were walking - so much for my plan to do more diverse activities this week!)
* I did a relaxing/creative/pampering activity 6 days out of 7. (computer games don't count! )
* My average score over the whole week was 65%.

That's pretty much confirmed what I suspected. I do great at work, but as soon as I get home, I turn into a mindless, food-devouring monster! Monday's my best day, and as the week goes on, I keep on sliding until I'm a messy puddle on the weekend. I don't eat as much on the weekend (I usually skip morning tea and sometimes breakfast and afternoon tea as well) but most of what I do eat is unhealthy. And my greatest weakness is dessert! I have a strong emotional thing going on. All day I think to myself, "right, tonight I'm just going to have a cup of tea ... a cup of tea ... just a cup of tea ... " Then, about half an hour after dinner, the thought of not getting anything sweet to eat is so pathetic that I just wanna cry! I'm such a sad-sack!! So I have to think of a way to break this cycle.

In Other News ...

I've also been sick quite a lot in the last week. I've really tried to eat more fruit lately, but seeing as I have fructose malabsorption, I really have to be careful what fruits I eat and check products for high-fructose corn syrup. Since I found out I had this, nearly a year ago now, I haven't worried about it too much. But now that I'm eating more fruit, I'm noticing I'm getting sick more. So I think it's time to look at my plan, here!

As for the other thing I wanted to improve on last week - drinking more water - I did manage to drink 5 or 6 glasses each day during the week. Again, though, on the weekend... meh!

So this week I'd like to: continue to drink at least 6 glasses of water, EVERY day; make a list of fructose-safe fruits and stick to only eating them; and exercise (no matter what type) at least 5 days.

((Um, I didn't really intend to have weekly goals, but there you go. ))

This post was transferred from calorieking.com.au