Monday and I'm blogging again! I think I've realised what it is with Mondays - they're like a new beginning. I always make new plans and think about how I'm going to change things on Mondays - and even sometimes in bed on Sunday nights! Whether I wake up with energy, or wake up already tired, I'm still in the mood to think about positive changes. Monday mornings are like a little mini New Year for me. This is much better than it was up until recently - Mondays were a day of beating myself up and regretting not doing all the things on the weekend that I wanted to do and/or should have done. Not only were they the traditionally subdued day, being the start of the working week, but they were a day when I made myself feel miserable and berated myself for my lack of motivation. As I think I mentioned a little while back, I'm doing a lot less beating up of myself now - it wasn't a conscious decision, I just slowly started to realise I wasn't doing it anymore. And I guess this new attitude towards Mondays is a reflection of that. I often get in the mood to make lists of my intentions, like: I'm going to: drink a bottle of water every day; drink a cup of green tea every day; go for a walk every day; draw every day; craft every day, wear a quirky accessory every day, etc etc! So much to do!Even (as I did last night in bed) making declarations to myself like: "I'm going to lose __ kgs by this time next year! Yeah, it'll be great, I'll look better and feel better about myself and as a reward I can wear a really cool costume to next year's Convention!" Sheesh, the things you think about when you're lying in bed with insomnia! In the warm light of day, I think it would work much better for me if I focused on becoming healthier and achieving fitness goals, rather than losing x no. of kilos. I feel good about the start I've made with that - my Baby Elephant Walk project. Husband and I went for a walk on the weekend as well. At first I felt really stiff and achey (well, I'd been sitting still in front of the computer all day!), not to mention embarrassed, hoping no-one saw me, but after a little while, I started to loosen up, and by the end of it, I felt really good. It was only 20 minutes, but it was better than what I've been doing for the last however-many weekends, which is nothing!
Speaking of doing better things, for about the last week, I've been really feeling like I want to continue developing my spirituality. And, in a linked way, doing things that make me feel more calm and peaceful. For example, I had an urge to write some haiku last week. I dunno, I was feeling really attuned to the change in seasons, and I wanted to express it somehow. Then I had an urge to write a short essay about that form of poetry (cause I'm such a dork-ademic, hehehe), which I posted on my Craft Blog. I had to write it during my lunch breaks, as by the time I get home from work, I'm too physically and mentally tired to concentrate on anything like that. On the weekend I don't feel so bad, but my brain is in a different space: my time is taken up with socialising, and surfing the beauty blogs and inspirational tumblrs (and exercising last weekend, for the win!). But when I step away from all that and remember the core things, that's when I feel the best.
I don't really like to talk about my spirituality. It's very private for me. It's a bizarre mixture of Western, Eastern and elements that most people wouldn't even consider to be related to spirituality. I was about to write that it's irrelevant to this blog anyway, which is supposed to be about my health and fitness. But I don't think that's 100% true. I try to take a holistic approach where I can. That's why I've decided to try acupuncture.
Meanwhile...
Meanwhile, on a slightly more earthy and only vaguely related note, my dandruff problem seems to be clearing up. If you've never had dandruff, then you won't understand how embarrassing it can be and how much of a blow to a person's confidence it is. When it started to appear, I got a bottle of trusty Head & Shoulders Dry Scalp, which always worked for me in the past. But after using up 3/4 of the bottle, I finally had to admit it was making the problem worse. My hair was even feeling greasy, which is a problem I don't normally have. So I switched to Selsun Blue. I only used it for the first time yesterday, but I can see an improvement already. Things are looking up!
Showing posts with label destressing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label destressing. Show all posts
27 August 2012
26 July 2012
Sleep - it's highly recommended
Sleep works... who knew?
All this week I've been dead on my feet, like a zombie. I was like that last week too, but this week was even worse. I figure it's fair enough that I'm tired after work, with my colleague being gone and the extra work, etc. But I've been tired the second I wake up in the morning, nearly falling asleep at my desk from the minute I walk in the door, and not even knowing how I managed to make it home at night. My cunning plan of going for walks at lunchtime has been failing because I'm already too tired by lunchtime to even think about walking out the door. All through the day, all I can think about is having a nap when I get home. Yet strangely, when I do arrive at home, I'm tired but kind of wired and not feeling like I want to lie down at all. Too tired to do anything like read or do craft or anything that requires thinking, but not sleepy so that I want to have a nap or go to bed early. Then I stay up pretty late because I just don't feel sleepy, and I usually have to take a sleeping tablet at bedtime (well, usually half-an-hour to an hour after bedtime, to be more truthful!). By yesterday I was just getting to breaking point. I was running on empty. So Husband and I didn't have anything to do last night, so we decided to take sleeping tablets early and go to bed insanely early. I'm talking, 9.00. And it was great! Sleep, nothing beats it.
So I'm feeling a lot better today. Not 100%, more like 60%, but that's a huge improvement on the 5-10% that I was feeling before! Two or 3 more nights of long, luscious sleep, and I'm sure I'll feel much more up to participating in life again. I've made a decision that I'm going to give myself 3 days. I'm not going to worry about anything else that I wanted to get done in my life - not housework, not exercising, not craft deadlines, not anything! I'm going to spend 3 days making sleep my no. 1 priority and getting myself up to speed again.
In Related News ...
I mentioned before that I've been too tired to exercise. And boy, am I feeling it! I also had a 3-and-a-half hour round trip to visit family on the weekend, and now my back is pretty sore. I almost have to laugh, because every time I bend over to pick something up at work, my body goes "ooh, that feels good, do it again! keep doing it!" Body know what it wants.
I'm not as worried about my sore back as I might have been though. I'm going to the chiropractor on the weekend. And since yesterday when I decided to make sleep my no. 1 priority for the next 3 days, I've been feeling calmer and more sure of myself. Less beating myself up. Especially today, and hopefully even more tomorrow. And even more the day after that, ahahahah! I can't sleep in too much on Saturday because of my chiro appointment unfortunately, but on Sunday I'm gonna sleep and sleep, yeah baby!!
All this week I've been dead on my feet, like a zombie. I was like that last week too, but this week was even worse. I figure it's fair enough that I'm tired after work, with my colleague being gone and the extra work, etc. But I've been tired the second I wake up in the morning, nearly falling asleep at my desk from the minute I walk in the door, and not even knowing how I managed to make it home at night. My cunning plan of going for walks at lunchtime has been failing because I'm already too tired by lunchtime to even think about walking out the door. All through the day, all I can think about is having a nap when I get home. Yet strangely, when I do arrive at home, I'm tired but kind of wired and not feeling like I want to lie down at all. Too tired to do anything like read or do craft or anything that requires thinking, but not sleepy so that I want to have a nap or go to bed early. Then I stay up pretty late because I just don't feel sleepy, and I usually have to take a sleeping tablet at bedtime (well, usually half-an-hour to an hour after bedtime, to be more truthful!). By yesterday I was just getting to breaking point. I was running on empty. So Husband and I didn't have anything to do last night, so we decided to take sleeping tablets early and go to bed insanely early. I'm talking, 9.00. And it was great! Sleep, nothing beats it.
So I'm feeling a lot better today. Not 100%, more like 60%, but that's a huge improvement on the 5-10% that I was feeling before! Two or 3 more nights of long, luscious sleep, and I'm sure I'll feel much more up to participating in life again. I've made a decision that I'm going to give myself 3 days. I'm not going to worry about anything else that I wanted to get done in my life - not housework, not exercising, not craft deadlines, not anything! I'm going to spend 3 days making sleep my no. 1 priority and getting myself up to speed again.
In Related News ...
I mentioned before that I've been too tired to exercise. And boy, am I feeling it! I also had a 3-and-a-half hour round trip to visit family on the weekend, and now my back is pretty sore. I almost have to laugh, because every time I bend over to pick something up at work, my body goes "ooh, that feels good, do it again! keep doing it!" Body know what it wants.
I'm not as worried about my sore back as I might have been though. I'm going to the chiropractor on the weekend. And since yesterday when I decided to make sleep my no. 1 priority for the next 3 days, I've been feeling calmer and more sure of myself. Less beating myself up. Especially today, and hopefully even more tomorrow. And even more the day after that, ahahahah! I can't sleep in too much on Saturday because of my chiro appointment unfortunately, but on Sunday I'm gonna sleep and sleep, yeah baby!!
16 July 2012
Monday again
Here I am again, another Monday. I can't remember for sure, but I wouldn't be surprised if my last post was on a Monday too, with a lot of whingeing and whining! Yet in some ways, I feel different. Perhaps that's not true, but some things have changed since last week, anyway. My colleague at work resigned very suddenly. It was a bit of a shock to all of us, and we have to quickly scramble to figure out how to get all the work done until we can find a replacement. Plus we had become good friends, so I'll miss her a lot.
So there are some changes at the moment. I've been assured that I shouldn't have to work extra hours, so that's OK. The main thing will be stress and worrying about getting more work done in the same amount of time, and not forgetting anything. Traditionally I've been pretty bad at managing stress. I'm the kind of person that wakes up in the middle of the night with a jolt thinking "Did I remember to check the fax??" Heck, I even worry about how much I'm going to worry!
I've had a feeling for a while now that I wanted things to change - wanted to change in myself. And right now I feel like it's more important than ever, for my own health - both physical and mental. Forget about losing x kgs before my holiday to Queensland, forget about being able to fit into pretty clothes, forget about people staring at my wobbling tummy as I walk down the street. I just want to be happy and calm and relatively stress-free.
Can you believe it, but lately I've had cravings for steamed broccoli, with just a bit of furikaki sprinkled on top. And I have urges to go for long walks around my neighbourhood, like I used to do before I got a full-time job.
Last night I read an inspirational blog post about a Japanese lady called Tsuneko Sasamoto. She's 97 and still works at her job as a photojournalist. She still has lots of energy, and she looks a lot younger than her age as well. When asked, she had 3 reasons for her longevity and health:
1. she eats very good quality food, and spends as much on food as others might on fashion or beauty products. At night, she only eats meat and vegetables, and no rice or bread with it. She drinks a glass of red wine every night.
2. she makes sure to think and be creative every day. She decorates her home in a modern style, she's interested in modern fashion and of course her job as a photographer allows her to be creative.
3. she's curious and takes an active interest in the world around her. She reads the newspaper every day, and keeps a notebook of things she wants to research more.
I would also add thinking positive to this list, after reading what she says about feeling lonely - she lives alone, so if she ever feels lonely while eating dinner, she looks at the moon through her window and sees the moon as her dinner companion. What a lovely way to view things!
I really love inspirational stories like this, about real people living real lives. To follow her advice doesn't cost hundreds of dollars or involve doing anything extraordinary. Just living a healthy, engaged lifestyle.
How can I make that happen?
So there are some changes at the moment. I've been assured that I shouldn't have to work extra hours, so that's OK. The main thing will be stress and worrying about getting more work done in the same amount of time, and not forgetting anything. Traditionally I've been pretty bad at managing stress. I'm the kind of person that wakes up in the middle of the night with a jolt thinking "Did I remember to check the fax??" Heck, I even worry about how much I'm going to worry!
I've had a feeling for a while now that I wanted things to change - wanted to change in myself. And right now I feel like it's more important than ever, for my own health - both physical and mental. Forget about losing x kgs before my holiday to Queensland, forget about being able to fit into pretty clothes, forget about people staring at my wobbling tummy as I walk down the street. I just want to be happy and calm and relatively stress-free.
Can you believe it, but lately I've had cravings for steamed broccoli, with just a bit of furikaki sprinkled on top. And I have urges to go for long walks around my neighbourhood, like I used to do before I got a full-time job.
Last night I read an inspirational blog post about a Japanese lady called Tsuneko Sasamoto. She's 97 and still works at her job as a photojournalist. She still has lots of energy, and she looks a lot younger than her age as well. When asked, she had 3 reasons for her longevity and health:
1. she eats very good quality food, and spends as much on food as others might on fashion or beauty products. At night, she only eats meat and vegetables, and no rice or bread with it. She drinks a glass of red wine every night.
2. she makes sure to think and be creative every day. She decorates her home in a modern style, she's interested in modern fashion and of course her job as a photographer allows her to be creative.
3. she's curious and takes an active interest in the world around her. She reads the newspaper every day, and keeps a notebook of things she wants to research more.
I would also add thinking positive to this list, after reading what she says about feeling lonely - she lives alone, so if she ever feels lonely while eating dinner, she looks at the moon through her window and sees the moon as her dinner companion. What a lovely way to view things!
I really love inspirational stories like this, about real people living real lives. To follow her advice doesn't cost hundreds of dollars or involve doing anything extraordinary. Just living a healthy, engaged lifestyle.
How can I make that happen?
27 June 2012
I've given up on my food diary again! Ok well -
I think I mentioned a while back that I made up a template for a daily food/exercise/health diary booklet. I printed out the templates, stapled them together into a booklet, and took it with me to work and home. I filled it in faithfully for about a month. It worked pretty well. It was handy for work, portable and easy to fill in. However, as with all my previous food diaries, there was only one issue - the act of filling it in and recording everything didn't actually change what I ate! What purpose is a food diary for? How is it supposed to work? Is it supposed to make you aware of what you're eating? And by extension, change what you eat? Is it supposed to make you too ashamed to eat anything unhealthy because you'd have to admit it by recording it for all posterity?
Well, none of that worked for me. I ate and then wrote down chocolates, lollies, cakes, big chunks of rocky road; all without thinking about it for even one second. I did faithfully write them all down, but I didn't think at all about differentiating between different types of foods (i.e. foods that it's OK to eat a lot vs. foods that I should only be eating occasionally, if at all). It was all just the same.
So the only conclusion I can come to is that keeping a food diary is a waste of time for me. It doesn't have the desired effect. So that's it! I'm not gonna do it anymore!
However, there's just one little niggling thing with that. When I do eat healthy foods, I want to acknowledge it. Feel good about it and reward myself (not with more food though! eheheh). I don't know why, but I just thought I should call them 'Foods that Support my Long-Term Happiness'. That has an element of mindfulness to it that I think I really need. I could post them on the blog. But I don't want it to become an interminably boring roster of my most base, mundane daily habits. Although I'm sure it's already quite dull. (Sorry, I don't know why my writing is so melodramatic at the moment!)
So anyway, enough blathering on. I ate the following Foods that Supported my Long-Term Happiness yesterday: natural yoghurt with fresh paw paw for breakfast, carrot sticks for morning tea; green coffee with lunch; a banana for afternoon tea.
Healthy Behaviours: I didn't eat the chocolate! Day 2 of not eating the chocolate. Did a toning workout in the evening while waiting for dinner to cook (admittedly it was pretty short, but definitely a good step forwards).
And today (so far): whole wheat cereal with fresh paw paw for breakfast. Carrot sticks for morning tea. Though they tend to give me a stomach ache, so I might have to re-think.
Meanwhile...
This morning I wasn't feeling so good as I did yesterday. Not much energy, feeling a bit blah. Hump day. Still, things aren't so bad, because I can successfully cheer myself up by telling myself that things aren't so bad.
I really want to buy something. I'm on a spending ban this month. Husband and I need to save money at the moment. I've been pretty good too, I think. I only bought a scarf to replace my favourite one that I lost, and 2 tops from the same site which were on sale. Also, 2 books from the book depository during their 24-hour sale, which were under $5 each. Actually, the sale was quite fun: on their homepage they put up one book per hour which was insanely cheap. Most of them sold out pretty quick, so they put up back-up books until the next hour started. Of course, many of them were ones I wasn't interested in, but I'm surprised I managed to hold back and only get 2. Unfortunately I only found out about the sale when it was nearly over, probably a good thing, really! The books haven't arrived yet. Now I'm really, really tempted to go to the "all books $5 shop" near my work at lunch time. It's had a 'closing down sale' sign on it for the last couple of weeks. One part of me says 'wait til next week, then it'll be July and your spending ban will be officially over'. Another part of me says, 'you should go this week, today! It might close down any day now, and it's end of financial year, it probably won't be open next week and you'll miss out! Not only that, but you have to go today, because you're too busy the rest of the week! So it has to be today!'.
Dilemmas!
I think I mentioned a while back that I made up a template for a daily food/exercise/health diary booklet. I printed out the templates, stapled them together into a booklet, and took it with me to work and home. I filled it in faithfully for about a month. It worked pretty well. It was handy for work, portable and easy to fill in. However, as with all my previous food diaries, there was only one issue - the act of filling it in and recording everything didn't actually change what I ate! What purpose is a food diary for? How is it supposed to work? Is it supposed to make you aware of what you're eating? And by extension, change what you eat? Is it supposed to make you too ashamed to eat anything unhealthy because you'd have to admit it by recording it for all posterity?
Well, none of that worked for me. I ate and then wrote down chocolates, lollies, cakes, big chunks of rocky road; all without thinking about it for even one second. I did faithfully write them all down, but I didn't think at all about differentiating between different types of foods (i.e. foods that it's OK to eat a lot vs. foods that I should only be eating occasionally, if at all). It was all just the same.
So the only conclusion I can come to is that keeping a food diary is a waste of time for me. It doesn't have the desired effect. So that's it! I'm not gonna do it anymore!
However, there's just one little niggling thing with that. When I do eat healthy foods, I want to acknowledge it. Feel good about it and reward myself (not with more food though! eheheh). I don't know why, but I just thought I should call them 'Foods that Support my Long-Term Happiness'. That has an element of mindfulness to it that I think I really need. I could post them on the blog. But I don't want it to become an interminably boring roster of my most base, mundane daily habits. Although I'm sure it's already quite dull. (Sorry, I don't know why my writing is so melodramatic at the moment!)
So anyway, enough blathering on. I ate the following Foods that Supported my Long-Term Happiness yesterday: natural yoghurt with fresh paw paw for breakfast, carrot sticks for morning tea; green coffee with lunch; a banana for afternoon tea.
Healthy Behaviours: I didn't eat the chocolate! Day 2 of not eating the chocolate. Did a toning workout in the evening while waiting for dinner to cook (admittedly it was pretty short, but definitely a good step forwards).
And today (so far): whole wheat cereal with fresh paw paw for breakfast. Carrot sticks for morning tea. Though they tend to give me a stomach ache, so I might have to re-think.
Meanwhile...
This morning I wasn't feeling so good as I did yesterday. Not much energy, feeling a bit blah. Hump day. Still, things aren't so bad, because I can successfully cheer myself up by telling myself that things aren't so bad.
I really want to buy something. I'm on a spending ban this month. Husband and I need to save money at the moment. I've been pretty good too, I think. I only bought a scarf to replace my favourite one that I lost, and 2 tops from the same site which were on sale. Also, 2 books from the book depository during their 24-hour sale, which were under $5 each. Actually, the sale was quite fun: on their homepage they put up one book per hour which was insanely cheap. Most of them sold out pretty quick, so they put up back-up books until the next hour started. Of course, many of them were ones I wasn't interested in, but I'm surprised I managed to hold back and only get 2. Unfortunately I only found out about the sale when it was nearly over, probably a good thing, really! The books haven't arrived yet. Now I'm really, really tempted to go to the "all books $5 shop" near my work at lunch time. It's had a 'closing down sale' sign on it for the last couple of weeks. One part of me says 'wait til next week, then it'll be July and your spending ban will be officially over'. Another part of me says, 'you should go this week, today! It might close down any day now, and it's end of financial year, it probably won't be open next week and you'll miss out! Not only that, but you have to go today, because you're too busy the rest of the week! So it has to be today!'.
Dilemmas!
25 June 2012
Surprise!
It's been a while, hasn't it? I try not to be the kind of person who apologises for not posting for ages on my blogs - especially this one where it's my personal blog and I can not post for as long as I like, darrrrrnit! There just haven't been any health/fitness/food/weight-loss related things to talk about. i.e. I gave up.
No, it seems wrong to say that. I was on a hiatus (much as I hate that word, it describes the situation pretty accurately and I can't be bothered looking up thesaurus.com right now!). For a long time I was pretty sad and frustrated: I want to do things differently, but nothing is changing. People say to me, you need to change, you can't just sit back and expect things to change around you, it needs to come from inside you. But I felt like I was empty, there was nothing inside. I got sadder and more frustrated. I felt very tired and run-down. Not a cold or anything in particular, just didn't feel like doing anything. In bed at night, trying to get to sleep, my heart would pound and I'd lie there for ages, trying to relax enough to sleep. Even a double dose of my herbal sleeping tablets didn't help. My exercise sessions dropped from 3 days a week, to 1, to none. I felt even more sad and frustrated that my goals were slipping away. I kept telling myself to do the things I needed to do, but it just didn't happen.
Then about a month ago, I was at the chemist getting a replacement bottle of the herbal sleeping tablets. Right next to them on the shelf was a bottle marked 'Mood'. May assist with stress, anxiety and sleeplessness. I bought it on impulse. It sat unopened on the coffee table for about a week, until Husband said, "have you started taking those yet? You really should start taking them". A mini wake-up call. I started taking them. I started feeling better. I felt happy again for the first time in weeks. I stopped obsessively thinking about the things that make me anxious. I no longer beat myself up mercilessly about the things I wasn't doing that I was supposed to be doing. It didn't feel like a struggle to leave the house and be in public. The twice-weekly visit to my barista was fun and chatty instead of awkward and painful. Nothing actually changed, I just felt better about everything. I feel like things could happen. Which is something I haven't felt for a while.
How strange that a couple of big pink pills can change what you're thinking and how you're feeling. I almost can't believe it can be true - was it just a coincidence? - but I guess it must be true.
Things stalled a bit when I got an actual cold last weekend, which resulted in my having to take 2 days off work last week. But! I didn't let it get me down. Normally I'd be all wah, wah, but I used the days off to actually rest and do some relaxing things like watch a movie, listen to my relaxation app and do a face mask treatment. And I hardly felt guilty about it at all. It was pretty nice, considering. I felt mostly better by Friday.
A lesson in why you should take your tablets!-
I was a bit slack with taking my tablets over the weekend, and I skipped my mood ones for a couple of days. Never do that again! I slept terribly last night, I was awake half the night with my heart pounding, and woke well before the alarm so hot and sweaty. I felt so wretched and frustrated, I was late for work, I feel so tired today that I could just about fall asleep at my desk. I haven't felt this way since, geez, before I started taking the tablets! Don't get me wrong, I don't think they're the perfect solution or anything, but they're helping me at the moment.
Anyway, that's probaby enough over-sharing for one day. Hopefully I'll have some reports about actual stuff soon. Meanwhile, here's a pretty picture of something nice:
No, it seems wrong to say that. I was on a hiatus (much as I hate that word, it describes the situation pretty accurately and I can't be bothered looking up thesaurus.com right now!). For a long time I was pretty sad and frustrated: I want to do things differently, but nothing is changing. People say to me, you need to change, you can't just sit back and expect things to change around you, it needs to come from inside you. But I felt like I was empty, there was nothing inside. I got sadder and more frustrated. I felt very tired and run-down. Not a cold or anything in particular, just didn't feel like doing anything. In bed at night, trying to get to sleep, my heart would pound and I'd lie there for ages, trying to relax enough to sleep. Even a double dose of my herbal sleeping tablets didn't help. My exercise sessions dropped from 3 days a week, to 1, to none. I felt even more sad and frustrated that my goals were slipping away. I kept telling myself to do the things I needed to do, but it just didn't happen.
Then about a month ago, I was at the chemist getting a replacement bottle of the herbal sleeping tablets. Right next to them on the shelf was a bottle marked 'Mood'. May assist with stress, anxiety and sleeplessness. I bought it on impulse. It sat unopened on the coffee table for about a week, until Husband said, "have you started taking those yet? You really should start taking them". A mini wake-up call. I started taking them. I started feeling better. I felt happy again for the first time in weeks. I stopped obsessively thinking about the things that make me anxious. I no longer beat myself up mercilessly about the things I wasn't doing that I was supposed to be doing. It didn't feel like a struggle to leave the house and be in public. The twice-weekly visit to my barista was fun and chatty instead of awkward and painful. Nothing actually changed, I just felt better about everything. I feel like things could happen. Which is something I haven't felt for a while.
How strange that a couple of big pink pills can change what you're thinking and how you're feeling. I almost can't believe it can be true - was it just a coincidence? - but I guess it must be true.
Things stalled a bit when I got an actual cold last weekend, which resulted in my having to take 2 days off work last week. But! I didn't let it get me down. Normally I'd be all wah, wah, but I used the days off to actually rest and do some relaxing things like watch a movie, listen to my relaxation app and do a face mask treatment. And I hardly felt guilty about it at all. It was pretty nice, considering. I felt mostly better by Friday.
A lesson in why you should take your tablets!-
I was a bit slack with taking my tablets over the weekend, and I skipped my mood ones for a couple of days. Never do that again! I slept terribly last night, I was awake half the night with my heart pounding, and woke well before the alarm so hot and sweaty. I felt so wretched and frustrated, I was late for work, I feel so tired today that I could just about fall asleep at my desk. I haven't felt this way since, geez, before I started taking the tablets! Don't get me wrong, I don't think they're the perfect solution or anything, but they're helping me at the moment.
Anyway, that's probaby enough over-sharing for one day. Hopefully I'll have some reports about actual stuff soon. Meanwhile, here's a pretty picture of something nice:
02 May 2012
Aaah!
Last night I did what I said I was going to do - I played my relaxation app. I got home from work and it was the first thing I did.
And guess what?
I enjoyed it so much that I straight away did a second longer one! Then I must have had a nap because all of a sudden Husband was home. I felt so much better afterwards. I did feel pretty guilty that I didn't start dinner and do the other things I should have done when I got home. But it was balanced out by the fact that I told myself I was going to do this, and I did it.
Even when I got some bad news later that night, I stressed out for a while, but then I started to feel better again much sooner than I might have normally.
Though I did have Stressy Tummy the next morning. It's a process, I suppose!
And guess what?
I enjoyed it so much that I straight away did a second longer one! Then I must have had a nap because all of a sudden Husband was home. I felt so much better afterwards. I did feel pretty guilty that I didn't start dinner and do the other things I should have done when I got home. But it was balanced out by the fact that I told myself I was going to do this, and I did it.
Even when I got some bad news later that night, I stressed out for a while, but then I started to feel better again much sooner than I might have normally.
Though I did have Stressy Tummy the next morning. It's a process, I suppose!
01 May 2012
See Above
Not much new to say, really. I've been trying to keep things in a steady state while getting ready for Husband's surgery this Friday. Work has been totally flat out last week and so far this week, but I'm hoping it'll die down a bit soon. I'm taking a few days off to look after Husband after his surgery, but I reckon I'll be almost as busy! Maybe I will get time to do a few things around the house and maybe even do some exercise while he's resting, though.
I've been trying so hard lately to be helpful and understanding with Husband's condition. If I'm tired or sore or upset or angry about something, it's not really important because what he's going through is 100 times worse, and I need to be there for him. Unfortunately that attitude has turned me into a real Stressy Bessy (even more than before!) and as a result - guess what? I've been put on blood pressure medication. Yay (not). I'm quite worried about it because it means that things are starting to catch up with me. Things as in: my weight, my age, my anxiety and stressing habits.
I know that I drew up 4 very helpful things to do to make improvements in an earlier post, and I'm starting to think that the relaxation/meditation one is actually the most important. The one that I never get around to. The one that never have time for. That I convince myself isn't really worth the bother. That one. I whacked that one on the list because STRESS appeared in so many of the issues I've been having, and working on it would seem to solve multiple problems.
It never happens though, because I always tell myself that there are things I should be doing, or rather be doing. Also, I still keep getting that feeling that I'll 'fail', and it'll be a waste of time. Even lying in bed at night, when I'm starting to fall asleep, I think 'am I actually relaxing??'; and then my heart starts to pound, I can't breathe properly and I'm awake for the next couple of hours.
The only thing I find relaxing lately is to think about beauty products. Is that sad? hahahahha I make myself laugh!
I've been trying so hard lately to be helpful and understanding with Husband's condition. If I'm tired or sore or upset or angry about something, it's not really important because what he's going through is 100 times worse, and I need to be there for him. Unfortunately that attitude has turned me into a real Stressy Bessy (even more than before!) and as a result - guess what? I've been put on blood pressure medication. Yay (not). I'm quite worried about it because it means that things are starting to catch up with me. Things as in: my weight, my age, my anxiety and stressing habits.
I know that I drew up 4 very helpful things to do to make improvements in an earlier post, and I'm starting to think that the relaxation/meditation one is actually the most important. The one that I never get around to. The one that never have time for. That I convince myself isn't really worth the bother. That one. I whacked that one on the list because STRESS appeared in so many of the issues I've been having, and working on it would seem to solve multiple problems.
It never happens though, because I always tell myself that there are things I should be doing, or rather be doing. Also, I still keep getting that feeling that I'll 'fail', and it'll be a waste of time. Even lying in bed at night, when I'm starting to fall asleep, I think 'am I actually relaxing??'; and then my heart starts to pound, I can't breathe properly and I'm awake for the next couple of hours.
The only thing I find relaxing lately is to think about beauty products. Is that sad? hahahahha I make myself laugh!
03 March 2012
Statistics Time!
Cos I know how much we all love statistics!
I weighed and measured myself this morning - expecting disappointing results, I have to admit. Here's a summary:
Weight: -0.4 kgs (since 1st Feb)
Measurements (average): +1.5 cm (since 28th December)
Blood Pressure: -8 points (measured last weekend; as compared to 7th Jan)
A bit of a mixed bag really, but overall a pleasant surprise. I had assumed that I would have put on weight - I'm feeling so fat and bloated at the moment. I'm very pleased that my blood pressure has dropped each time I've measured it. I suppose I'm less stressed, now that I think about it. I'm settling into my new job, and been doing meditation/relaxation a couple of times a week. I don't get anxious as often as I used to in recent times.
Meanwhile ...
Going to wear my new pedometer all day today and see what it says. Very determined to resist the lure of the intertubes and go for a walk this weekend. Unfortunately it's raining heavily and looks to be that way most of the day today. I got a worksheet which you can use to convert other types of exercise into steps for the programme, so at least I can do some indoors exercise and it'll still count!
Meanwhile, I'm in a de-cluttering/organising kind of mood, so I'm going to work on transferring some of my old posts over from my old blog to here today.
I weighed and measured myself this morning - expecting disappointing results, I have to admit. Here's a summary:
Weight: -0.4 kgs (since 1st Feb)
Measurements (average): +1.5 cm (since 28th December)
Blood Pressure: -8 points (measured last weekend; as compared to 7th Jan)
A bit of a mixed bag really, but overall a pleasant surprise. I had assumed that I would have put on weight - I'm feeling so fat and bloated at the moment. I'm very pleased that my blood pressure has dropped each time I've measured it. I suppose I'm less stressed, now that I think about it. I'm settling into my new job, and been doing meditation/relaxation a couple of times a week. I don't get anxious as often as I used to in recent times.
Meanwhile ...
Going to wear my new pedometer all day today and see what it says. Very determined to resist the lure of the intertubes and go for a walk this weekend. Unfortunately it's raining heavily and looks to be that way most of the day today. I got a worksheet which you can use to convert other types of exercise into steps for the programme, so at least I can do some indoors exercise and it'll still count!
Meanwhile, I'm in a de-cluttering/organising kind of mood, so I'm going to work on transferring some of my old posts over from my old blog to here today.
09 February 2012
Quick Hello
Just a quick update to say everything's been going along fairly standardly.
Kind of strange, though - on Monday I got home and I was bouncing with energy and revving to go. So I did my yoga DVD (for the first time in months!) and felt great and relaxed afterwards. I was looking forward to a week with more energy and getting more things done. Since then, I've felt quite tired after work and haven't done any more exercise. ... However, I haven't actually felt as bone-exhausted as I did last week. So it can be said that things are improving.
I think perhaps my diet needs a bit of looking at. For example, this week I've been having a carrot and some rice cakes for morning tea. Soon after, I get a stomach ache this turns into hunger. By lunch time, I'm starving! And plus I'm getting bored with carrots by Day 4 now anyway. =) I'm still liking the rice cakes though, so it'll only require a little adjustment.
I've also been more contemplative lately, too. With only a certain amount of time and energy available to me in my spare time, what do I really want to use them for? What's it all about? How can I be the real me instead of spending all my time on the internet and dreaming of being different?
Hopefully I'll have time to think about all that later. My lunch break is over now!
xx
Kind of strange, though - on Monday I got home and I was bouncing with energy and revving to go. So I did my yoga DVD (for the first time in months!) and felt great and relaxed afterwards. I was looking forward to a week with more energy and getting more things done. Since then, I've felt quite tired after work and haven't done any more exercise. ... However, I haven't actually felt as bone-exhausted as I did last week. So it can be said that things are improving.
I think perhaps my diet needs a bit of looking at. For example, this week I've been having a carrot and some rice cakes for morning tea. Soon after, I get a stomach ache this turns into hunger. By lunch time, I'm starving! And plus I'm getting bored with carrots by Day 4 now anyway. =) I'm still liking the rice cakes though, so it'll only require a little adjustment.
I've also been more contemplative lately, too. With only a certain amount of time and energy available to me in my spare time, what do I really want to use them for? What's it all about? How can I be the real me instead of spending all my time on the internet and dreaming of being different?
Hopefully I'll have time to think about all that later. My lunch break is over now!
xx
13 January 2012
Friday Things
What a week I've been having! I have to tell you!
This blog is supposed to be on the theme of health and fitness, food and exercise, losing weight and feeling better. Obviously though, things that happen in life will affect all of those things. And the thing that happened to me this week was....
Boy and I got married on Tuesday!
It was very very small. We didn't want any fuss. It was really just a confirmation of what our lives have been together for the last few years anyway. Even though there wasn't a lot to organise, I still managed to stress quite a bit over it! However, (nearly) everything went smoothly on the day itself - there were a couple of wrinkles, but we ironed them out pretty easily.
Now I have another secret!
But I can't spill the beans until it's confirmed.
Now to the actual theme. How am I going? The answer is: okay, sort of!
I've been too busy and tired to exercise much this week. Yesterday at work I spent most of the day shifting files in the storage area and I was all done afterwards! There was no need to do formal exercise after that.
Food-wise things have been OK, but really only by accident. I have a craving for asparagus right now, mmmmm.
Stress-wise, I tried another guided meditation yesterday when I got home from work. I don't remember the end of it or anything until Boy arrived home, so that must mean I fell asleep, therefore it must have been good! It was a free sample app that I downloaded. There are many other (paid) ones with a meditation/hypnosis on various themes. I wasn't sure which one to pick, as I need help in a few areas! So I just got the free sample one to try it out. As with all self-hypnosis recordings, they recommend you listen to it once a day for at least 3 weeks. I'm not sure if I'll have time for that, and if I do, I'd rather choose one of the more specific ones to concentrate on. So I'm not quite sure where to go from here. Hmmmm!
This blog is supposed to be on the theme of health and fitness, food and exercise, losing weight and feeling better. Obviously though, things that happen in life will affect all of those things. And the thing that happened to me this week was....
Boy and I got married on Tuesday!
It was very very small. We didn't want any fuss. It was really just a confirmation of what our lives have been together for the last few years anyway. Even though there wasn't a lot to organise, I still managed to stress quite a bit over it! However, (nearly) everything went smoothly on the day itself - there were a couple of wrinkles, but we ironed them out pretty easily.
Now I have another secret!
But I can't spill the beans until it's confirmed.
Now to the actual theme. How am I going? The answer is: okay, sort of!
I've been too busy and tired to exercise much this week. Yesterday at work I spent most of the day shifting files in the storage area and I was all done afterwards! There was no need to do formal exercise after that.
Food-wise things have been OK, but really only by accident. I have a craving for asparagus right now, mmmmm.
Stress-wise, I tried another guided meditation yesterday when I got home from work. I don't remember the end of it or anything until Boy arrived home, so that must mean I fell asleep, therefore it must have been good! It was a free sample app that I downloaded. There are many other (paid) ones with a meditation/hypnosis on various themes. I wasn't sure which one to pick, as I need help in a few areas! So I just got the free sample one to try it out. As with all self-hypnosis recordings, they recommend you listen to it once a day for at least 3 weeks. I'm not sure if I'll have time for that, and if I do, I'd rather choose one of the more specific ones to concentrate on. So I'm not quite sure where to go from here. Hmmmm!
09 January 2012
Monday Update
As they say, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. I'm even more determined than ever to get fitter and healthier, but my life is just so busy, it's like a whirlwind. Like I said in my last post though, I have to be annoyingly vague and mysterious about it all until things are confirmed (or not confirmed, as the case may be!).
You Don't Say ...
I've still been meditating most nights. (I was going to put 'trying to meditate', but I'm going to give myself more credit than that!) It helps me get to sleep better at night, but I'm not sure if it's beneficial for the rest of my day (yet?). You see, I've noticed a new development in the stress stakes - my jaw and my right shoulder have been hurting recently, and I couldn't figure out why. Over the last few days I've realised: my shoulder hurts because I tense it up when I'm at the computer using the mouse. My jaw hurts because I tense it up all the time. Not just in stressful situations, but even when I'm doing something relaxing like playing computer games or reading. It's gotten so bad that it feels like it's out of joint. Hmmm, what to do, what to do?
When's my next chiropractor appointment again?
You Don't Say ...
I've still been meditating most nights. (I was going to put 'trying to meditate', but I'm going to give myself more credit than that!) It helps me get to sleep better at night, but I'm not sure if it's beneficial for the rest of my day (yet?). You see, I've noticed a new development in the stress stakes - my jaw and my right shoulder have been hurting recently, and I couldn't figure out why. Over the last few days I've realised: my shoulder hurts because I tense it up when I'm at the computer using the mouse. My jaw hurts because I tense it up all the time. Not just in stressful situations, but even when I'm doing something relaxing like playing computer games or reading. It's gotten so bad that it feels like it's out of joint. Hmmm, what to do, what to do?
When's my next chiropractor appointment again?
02 January 2012
Happy New Year!
Coming to you from my iPod today, typing on tiny keypad is excruciating, so even more brief than normal.
Well, happy new year, everyone!
Wish I could say a lot has changed, but it's only been a few days.
Decided to measure blood pressure once a week. On Saturday was much lower than last time - just high instead of astronomical. Very relieved. Was taken under optimal condition this time, so more accurate.
Have still meditated every night in bed. Terrible at it. Need something to concentrate on. Found an app which has sessions of. Various lengths, yet to try.
Have made a list of 10 goals for 2012. Have a tendency to do such lofty things this time of year. Undecided whether to share or not. Last year's effort a total flop. But had a pretty tough year. Such is life.
Post would have been much shorter if not for predictive text. :)
Well, happy new year, everyone!
Wish I could say a lot has changed, but it's only been a few days.
Decided to measure blood pressure once a week. On Saturday was much lower than last time - just high instead of astronomical. Very relieved. Was taken under optimal condition this time, so more accurate.
Have still meditated every night in bed. Terrible at it. Need something to concentrate on. Found an app which has sessions of. Various lengths, yet to try.
Have made a list of 10 goals for 2012. Have a tendency to do such lofty things this time of year. Undecided whether to share or not. Last year's effort a total flop. But had a pretty tough year. Such is life.
Post would have been much shorter if not for predictive text. :)
28 December 2011
Break Time!
I've had a little break from everything - from work, from my food diary ... and from blogging too, it seems! So, a big update today. Things went really well over Christmas. I'm really proud of myself. I didn't once eat so much that I felt sick. I made sure I ate salad/veges at every meal as well as unhealthy stuff. I didn't drink too much.
Not To Mention ...
Just before Christmas, Boy decided that we should have a blood pressure machine. Last time I went to the Doctor, my blood pressure was astronomical, though I'd been exercising right before I went to see him, so it could have been slightly skewed. (More than slightly!) I'd been a bit worried ever since, but not too much because of the skewed results. So then we bought the blood pressure monitor, which is made by a very reputable company that make ones for real-and-proper doctors as well. We took it home and measured ourselves straight away. Cos we love our new toys!
Well, it's still astronomical. Ahem.
So I have decided to Take Steps. Namely - 1) start putting an effort into exercising again (but building up slowly so I don't bust a vein); and 2) really making an effort to decrease my stress levels by meditating regularly.
And I have meditated every day since then. I find it really daunting, I just always get this idea in my head that I'm bad at it. So I've started with 1 minute per day. I don't time myself. In fact I do it in bed right before I go to sleep. And I find it helps me get off to sleep better. Some extremely stressful things have happened in the last few days, and I think it's helped me cope a bit better, in conjunction with the exercise. Now is time for me! I deserve it!
I'm also working on a list of goals for 2012, but I'll talk about that next time.
In Related News ...
Boy gave me what I wished for, for Christmas - the Zumba for Kinect game!
I've played it once so far and really enjoyed it. I can see myself playing it regularly - hopefully! I love dancing, and that's what this game is all about! I can't review it yet - 25 minutes of playing the most basic tutorials doesn't really give it justice - but we'll see.
Boy and I have been watching a lot of music videos lately to fill in time (while doing knitting or something like that, in my case) and I've been getting an urge to jump up and try to copy the dance moves! But I feel a bit daft and silly doing that, so I haven't ... yet!
Beauty Blather
Not much to say right now - could my obsession be waning? I'm really trying to save money at the moment, so I'm trying to cut back on the impulse purchases. I got an email just before Christmas from the Lust Have It mob, saying there will be no beauty box for January (and no charge). I was so disappointed I almost signed up with 'I Love This Box' (even lamer name!) as I heard some good reviews. But I've resisted so far! I'm not saying I'll resist much longer!
Writing up my beauty products inventory (see links in sidebar) has had another consequence that I didn't intend - it's made me realise how many things I have that are reaaaaalllly old. So I determined that I would throw away 5 items - and yesterday I did it! I sometimes have a tendency to hoarding, so this was in the Good Thing category.
And Finally ...
I'm absolutely obsessed with my new iPod Touch and all the apps I can get for it. In the last few days, I got a To-Do List, and one that I can use to track my exercise, weight and blood pressure (not actually measure them, just record them! ehehhe) and pretty much anything else I can customise into it. But I think my favourite one is LaoTzuLite, with wise quotes. I like to bring up a random quote every morning. Here's today's:
(Well, I guess that depends on your definition of 'too much'. Enough to make me feel sick? Or enough to make me say things I shouldn't have? ..... )Up until Christmas, things were not going too well exercise-wise. I was just too busy. Though running around the shops may have done some good, as B noted the other day that I look smaller from the back. Nice! That made me feel confident enough to weigh myself this morning and sadly, the scales and tape measure tell a different tale. Every measurement is higher! I've put on 1.2kgs since I last weighed myself in early November. I didn't have my last set of measurements to hand this morning, but I think they've gone up, too. More's the pity. But on the bright side, I put on less than 2kgs over the Christmas period! Last year I put on over 5kgs, and it took me all year to get them off again, so it's a win, really. Plus I don't feel terrible about myself like I did last year, either.
Not To Mention ...
Just before Christmas, Boy decided that we should have a blood pressure machine. Last time I went to the Doctor, my blood pressure was astronomical, though I'd been exercising right before I went to see him, so it could have been slightly skewed. (More than slightly!) I'd been a bit worried ever since, but not too much because of the skewed results. So then we bought the blood pressure monitor, which is made by a very reputable company that make ones for real-and-proper doctors as well. We took it home and measured ourselves straight away. Cos we love our new toys!
Well, it's still astronomical. Ahem.
So I have decided to Take Steps. Namely - 1) start putting an effort into exercising again (but building up slowly so I don't bust a vein); and 2) really making an effort to decrease my stress levels by meditating regularly.
And I have meditated every day since then. I find it really daunting, I just always get this idea in my head that I'm bad at it. So I've started with 1 minute per day. I don't time myself. In fact I do it in bed right before I go to sleep. And I find it helps me get off to sleep better. Some extremely stressful things have happened in the last few days, and I think it's helped me cope a bit better, in conjunction with the exercise. Now is time for me! I deserve it!
I'm also working on a list of goals for 2012, but I'll talk about that next time.
In Related News ...
Boy gave me what I wished for, for Christmas - the Zumba for Kinect game!
I've played it once so far and really enjoyed it. I can see myself playing it regularly - hopefully! I love dancing, and that's what this game is all about! I can't review it yet - 25 minutes of playing the most basic tutorials doesn't really give it justice - but we'll see.
Boy and I have been watching a lot of music videos lately to fill in time (while doing knitting or something like that, in my case) and I've been getting an urge to jump up and try to copy the dance moves! But I feel a bit daft and silly doing that, so I haven't ... yet!
Beauty Blather
Not much to say right now - could my obsession be waning? I'm really trying to save money at the moment, so I'm trying to cut back on the impulse purchases. I got an email just before Christmas from the Lust Have It mob, saying there will be no beauty box for January (and no charge). I was so disappointed I almost signed up with 'I Love This Box' (even lamer name!) as I heard some good reviews. But I've resisted so far! I'm not saying I'll resist much longer!
Writing up my beauty products inventory (see links in sidebar) has had another consequence that I didn't intend - it's made me realise how many things I have that are reaaaaalllly old. So I determined that I would throw away 5 items - and yesterday I did it! I sometimes have a tendency to hoarding, so this was in the Good Thing category.
And Finally ...
I'm absolutely obsessed with my new iPod Touch and all the apps I can get for it. In the last few days, I got a To-Do List, and one that I can use to track my exercise, weight and blood pressure (not actually measure them, just record them! ehehhe) and pretty much anything else I can customise into it. But I think my favourite one is LaoTzuLite, with wise quotes. I like to bring up a random quote every morning. Here's today's:
Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
16 December 2011
Later That Night
I've had a few drinks now, so naturally what I'd like to do (aside from making impulse purchases online) is to expand on my list of goals things I'd like to improve on. That's always fun on a Friday night.
* exercise more. set goals to work towards.
I feel like I've been trying to do this already for years! Like every time I take one step forward, I immediately take two (or more!) steps back, due to being sick, spraining my ankle, being crazy-busy all of a sudden, etc. etc. Then other times, admittedly, I don't do adequate exercise because, well, playing on the internet and reading just seem like much more fun. It's so much effort. But, as I acknowledged in discussion yesterday, the first step is the hardest. The more I do, the easier it'll get. (And the more I'll be able to do for the same amount of effort - which is the point after all!) I just need to take the first step. Of course, rationally, I'm fully aware of the benefits of exercise and want them. But in the meantime, somehow I need to find the belief in myself somewhere that going for a walk is more fun/entertaining/all-around-good than reading my favourite blogs. Right now, I'm not convinced. I'll have to think on it some more.
* tackle cravings when I get home from work. eat a healthier/smaller snack.
I've managed to successfully kick the habit of eating chocolate at work after lunch. Even when I'm really stressed out. Yay Team Me! But now I feel the need to tackle my after-work craving. When I get home from work, I just want to sit back and relax, sometimes with just a cup of green tea. Other times, when I'm a bit - or very! - stressed, I have cravings for things like: cheese, meats (ham, salami, etc) or sometimes nuts. Last night's leftovers! Boy says - you're probably craving protein, just have a glass of milo or milk with protein powder instead. I say - are you crazy?! They don't taste anything like cheese or ham! Why would I want to eat those?! So, like with the chocolate craving, I need to think of a suitable substitute that passes enough for the real thing to fool my body. Or perhaps stock up on some small, low-fat snack packs to start with, and go from there?
* eat a healthier dessert or none at all.
Another food-related issue. Soon after dinner each night, I get a hankering for something sweet. It's a habit, I guess. If I put a bit of effort and forethought in, I have something nice and fairly healthy, like yoghurt and tinned fruit (in juice, not syrup, of course!). If I don't put in the above-mentioned, Boy and I end up eating any number of less healthy things that we have kicking around the house. Especially this time of year, when our Christmas hampers have arrived. *sighs* So it seems the solution here is a bit of pre-planning and a bit of mindfulness.
* find ways to de-stress effectively.
Yah, well! I'm finding this harder lately. Since I moved house. The bath here takes half an hour to fill, plus it needs cleaning beforehand as the washing machine drains into it and it constantly gets dirty. And it's much shallower than the old one so my tummy and legs poke up out of the water and get cold. So having a bath is now annoying instead of relaxing. So I switched to having a nice, hot shower instead. But now that's become an annoying exercise as well. A problem has developed with the taps, and no matter what I do, the water temperature is either a bit too hot or a bit too cold. No in-between! And when you do adjust the tap, the new temperature takes about 30 seconds to come through, so you start to think - perhaps I didn't turn the tap far enough, so you turn it some more and suddenly it's freezing! Unbelievably frustrating. So the old relaxing hot shower with a nice-smelling shower gel is beyond my reach now, too. I'm not quite sure what to do. I'm still having showers about 50% of the time at night, and trying not to let it get to me. I take comfort in two facts I read recently: 1. cool/cold showers make you burn more calories as your body is trying to keep itself warm, and 2. apparently it's better to have a warm/cool shower (rather than hot) just before bed as, if your body overheats it keeps you awake. Plus I still get to use the yummy shower gels. So yeah.
And plus trying to meditate again would help a lot too, I think. For a while I was managing to meditate a little. In discussion I was given a suggestion to try for 30 seconds at a time. That amount of time isn't daunting at all, and I was managing to do it just fine in bed before going to sleep. So perhaps it's time to revive this.
* go to bed earlier and get enough sleep.
So many benefits to this, yet so hard to convince myself to just do it instead of watching the last half of My Strange Addiction! Then of course I always regret it the next morning, drink an extra cup of coffee, and tell myself I'll go to bed on time the next night. And the cycle repeats over again! Again, a little mindfulness would probably help here, too. Thinking about the big picture. Sleeping is pretty good, after all. It's the getting-up bit afterwards that's a little sucky!
* be more mindful of negative thoughts.
I've already been doing pretty well at this lately, I've realised. I just need to keep going! I've been teaching myself to say, "no, I deserve better than that!" It's not often that I truly believe it, but it makes me stop short and think about what I've been thinking or what I've been about to do. So I'm not there yet, but I'm definitely on the way.
I've gone on a bit, haven't I? But I guess that's what you do when you're a bit drunk ;)
* exercise more. set goals to work towards.
I feel like I've been trying to do this already for years! Like every time I take one step forward, I immediately take two (or more!) steps back, due to being sick, spraining my ankle, being crazy-busy all of a sudden, etc. etc. Then other times, admittedly, I don't do adequate exercise because, well, playing on the internet and reading just seem like much more fun. It's so much effort. But, as I acknowledged in discussion yesterday, the first step is the hardest. The more I do, the easier it'll get. (And the more I'll be able to do for the same amount of effort - which is the point after all!) I just need to take the first step. Of course, rationally, I'm fully aware of the benefits of exercise and want them. But in the meantime, somehow I need to find the belief in myself somewhere that going for a walk is more fun/entertaining/all-around-good than reading my favourite blogs. Right now, I'm not convinced. I'll have to think on it some more.
* tackle cravings when I get home from work. eat a healthier/smaller snack.
I've managed to successfully kick the habit of eating chocolate at work after lunch. Even when I'm really stressed out. Yay Team Me! But now I feel the need to tackle my after-work craving. When I get home from work, I just want to sit back and relax, sometimes with just a cup of green tea. Other times, when I'm a bit - or very! - stressed, I have cravings for things like: cheese, meats (ham, salami, etc) or sometimes nuts. Last night's leftovers! Boy says - you're probably craving protein, just have a glass of milo or milk with protein powder instead. I say - are you crazy?! They don't taste anything like cheese or ham! Why would I want to eat those?! So, like with the chocolate craving, I need to think of a suitable substitute that passes enough for the real thing to fool my body. Or perhaps stock up on some small, low-fat snack packs to start with, and go from there?
* eat a healthier dessert or none at all.
Another food-related issue. Soon after dinner each night, I get a hankering for something sweet. It's a habit, I guess. If I put a bit of effort and forethought in, I have something nice and fairly healthy, like yoghurt and tinned fruit (in juice, not syrup, of course!). If I don't put in the above-mentioned, Boy and I end up eating any number of less healthy things that we have kicking around the house. Especially this time of year, when our Christmas hampers have arrived. *sighs* So it seems the solution here is a bit of pre-planning and a bit of mindfulness.
* find ways to de-stress effectively.
Yah, well! I'm finding this harder lately. Since I moved house. The bath here takes half an hour to fill, plus it needs cleaning beforehand as the washing machine drains into it and it constantly gets dirty. And it's much shallower than the old one so my tummy and legs poke up out of the water and get cold. So having a bath is now annoying instead of relaxing. So I switched to having a nice, hot shower instead. But now that's become an annoying exercise as well. A problem has developed with the taps, and no matter what I do, the water temperature is either a bit too hot or a bit too cold. No in-between! And when you do adjust the tap, the new temperature takes about 30 seconds to come through, so you start to think - perhaps I didn't turn the tap far enough, so you turn it some more and suddenly it's freezing! Unbelievably frustrating. So the old relaxing hot shower with a nice-smelling shower gel is beyond my reach now, too. I'm not quite sure what to do. I'm still having showers about 50% of the time at night, and trying not to let it get to me. I take comfort in two facts I read recently: 1. cool/cold showers make you burn more calories as your body is trying to keep itself warm, and 2. apparently it's better to have a warm/cool shower (rather than hot) just before bed as, if your body overheats it keeps you awake. Plus I still get to use the yummy shower gels. So yeah.
And plus trying to meditate again would help a lot too, I think. For a while I was managing to meditate a little. In discussion I was given a suggestion to try for 30 seconds at a time. That amount of time isn't daunting at all, and I was managing to do it just fine in bed before going to sleep. So perhaps it's time to revive this.
* go to bed earlier and get enough sleep.
So many benefits to this, yet so hard to convince myself to just do it instead of watching the last half of My Strange Addiction! Then of course I always regret it the next morning, drink an extra cup of coffee, and tell myself I'll go to bed on time the next night. And the cycle repeats over again! Again, a little mindfulness would probably help here, too. Thinking about the big picture. Sleeping is pretty good, after all. It's the getting-up bit afterwards that's a little sucky!
* be more mindful of negative thoughts.
I've already been doing pretty well at this lately, I've realised. I just need to keep going! I've been teaching myself to say, "no, I deserve better than that!" It's not often that I truly believe it, but it makes me stop short and think about what I've been thinking or what I've been about to do. So I'm not there yet, but I'm definitely on the way.
I've gone on a bit, haven't I? But I guess that's what you do when you're a bit drunk ;)
24 November 2011
Being Mindful
Yesterday I listened to episode 74 of Reasonable Doubts Podcast. It was about Mindfulness as it relates to meditation and psychotherapy. Even though the podcast comes at things from a sceptical point of view, they generally try to present topics in a balanced, evidence-based way. They looked at a meta-study of meditation studies which found that basically, it's extremely difficult to prove that meditation and/or mindfulness have any benefit. To quote one of the presenters, meditation is "only slightly more effective than taking a nap." One of the main problems is that studies tend to be conducted by people who already believe in the benefits of meditation and just want to prove it. So often their methodology isn't that rigorous. (This is actually a problem in many fields. A recent episode of The Psych Files talked about a similar problem with studies done on the benefits of having pets.) Once all those studies are taken out, what's left doesn't hold up too well to scientific scrutiny. So the reputation of meditation/mindfulness relies on personal testimonials. One of the presenters had meditated regularly (both mindfulness meditation and other types), and was able to give a personal point of view on it. He said it had helped him see things more clearly and objectively, stay calmer in stressful situations, and feel generally more relaxed.
The other situation that was discussed in relation to mindfulness was as part of psychotherapy. It's the first step in cognitive behavioural therapy (being aware of and monitoring/observing thoughts and feelings), but it's also a therapy on its own. CBT not only employs mindfulness, but then the patient goes on to challenge and overcome unwanted thoughts and perceptions. CBT has been proven to be effective. The presenters compared mindfulness (as a standalone therapy) and CBT. They didn't say it outright, but I would have thought CBT would be superior to pure mindfulness during which the unwanted thoughts are not challenged, only monitored.
The presenters usually don't make a judgement or pronouncement on their topic (e.g. meditation is 'good' or 'bad'), they just present the facts and let the listener decide for themselves. I don't really have any conclusions myself and don't know why I decided to write about this today. I just thought it was interesting.
In Other News ...
Things are going along in a fairly standard way so far this week. I've managed to drink at least 1x 1 lt bottle of water each day; had a bit more trouble trying to increase it to x2 though. It takes me all day at work to get through 1 lt; if I drink too much at once, I feel too full and bloated. I thought about drinking another 1 lt after work when I get home, but I don't want to risk drinking too much water too close to bedtime, in case I have to get up in the middle of the night. It's a dilemma!
But anyway, these are First World Problems...
Really looking forward to my holiday, which is just over a week away now. I can't believe the time has gone so fast. I suppose at some point I should decide if I'm going to 'be good' during my holiday, or just 'let myself go' and not worry about what I eat. Surely there must be some happy medium? Boy has said a couple of times, "don't worry, we're going to be doing lots of walking!" But I wonder about that. Unlike all our previous holidays, we're hiring a car, and it might be too tempting to use it as much as possible and just drive everywhere. I guess we'll see!
The other situation that was discussed in relation to mindfulness was as part of psychotherapy. It's the first step in cognitive behavioural therapy (being aware of and monitoring/observing thoughts and feelings), but it's also a therapy on its own. CBT not only employs mindfulness, but then the patient goes on to challenge and overcome unwanted thoughts and perceptions. CBT has been proven to be effective. The presenters compared mindfulness (as a standalone therapy) and CBT. They didn't say it outright, but I would have thought CBT would be superior to pure mindfulness during which the unwanted thoughts are not challenged, only monitored.
The presenters usually don't make a judgement or pronouncement on their topic (e.g. meditation is 'good' or 'bad'), they just present the facts and let the listener decide for themselves. I don't really have any conclusions myself and don't know why I decided to write about this today. I just thought it was interesting.
In Other News ...
Things are going along in a fairly standard way so far this week. I've managed to drink at least 1x 1 lt bottle of water each day; had a bit more trouble trying to increase it to x2 though. It takes me all day at work to get through 1 lt; if I drink too much at once, I feel too full and bloated. I thought about drinking another 1 lt after work when I get home, but I don't want to risk drinking too much water too close to bedtime, in case I have to get up in the middle of the night. It's a dilemma!
But anyway, these are First World Problems...
Really looking forward to my holiday, which is just over a week away now. I can't believe the time has gone so fast. I suppose at some point I should decide if I'm going to 'be good' during my holiday, or just 'let myself go' and not worry about what I eat. Surely there must be some happy medium? Boy has said a couple of times, "don't worry, we're going to be doing lots of walking!" But I wonder about that. Unlike all our previous holidays, we're hiring a car, and it might be too tempting to use it as much as possible and just drive everywhere. I guess we'll see!
15 November 2011
Tuesday Things
Don't know what's brought it on, but I have renewed motivation this week. Strange really, considering how busy I am. Busy every night after work with appointments and other jobs. Was pretty stressed out about it on Sunday night, but now I've embarked on it, I feel like things are going smoothly. Writing out lists of things to do so I don't forget anything, helps quite a bit.
Yesterday my food & exercise went fabulously well, even despite being on late shift and having the slightly-sorry-for-myself feeling I usually get, and having a few stressful things happen. I had a cup of tea and mango fruche for dessert, so I even got a tick on that one. If I can do that well every day, I'll definitely be on the way!
This morning I made up my usual porridge for breakfast (except with dried fruit instead of fresh with it) and I was full before even eating half! So I've saved the rest for tomorrow. I also tried using water instead of milk, and it still tasted pretty good, so I'll do that from now on. Even though I use skinny milk, it's probably still better to switch when I can.
Have to admit I have mixed feelings about the next few months coming up. I'm happy and excited because the weather's getting warmer and (if it can hold off being muggy and raining, or too hot) it's always great conditions to exercise in. Go for walks, go to the park, perhaps even go bushwalking one weekend. More light, more energy. But on the other hand, Christmas and New Year are coming up. aka Eating Season! I'm nervous and worried that I'll overdo it, lose focus and end up slipping backwards instead of going forwards. Already last weekend I went to 2 BBQs, a drinks and a lunch. (It makes me sound like a social butterfly, but really I'm not!!) With most of these events, there's not much option for eating healthy. Or, should I say, the unhealthy foods are so much more tempting than the salads!
But! I think I did very well this last weekend. I didn't eat too much. I tried to make sure my salad to meat/bread proportion was at least half-half. I didn't drink too much either. I'm proud of myself! Perhaps that's where my new-found motivation is coming from!
And because Tuesday is universally acknowledged to be the most boring day of the week, here's a nice picture to brighten things up:
Source: the-curvy-princess.tumblr.com via ApartmentCat on Pinterest.
Yum, I haven't had bananas for so long. They're still too expensive. A girl can dream!
Yesterday my food & exercise went fabulously well, even despite being on late shift and having the slightly-sorry-for-myself feeling I usually get, and having a few stressful things happen. I had a cup of tea and mango fruche for dessert, so I even got a tick on that one. If I can do that well every day, I'll definitely be on the way!
This morning I made up my usual porridge for breakfast (except with dried fruit instead of fresh with it) and I was full before even eating half! So I've saved the rest for tomorrow. I also tried using water instead of milk, and it still tasted pretty good, so I'll do that from now on. Even though I use skinny milk, it's probably still better to switch when I can.
Have to admit I have mixed feelings about the next few months coming up. I'm happy and excited because the weather's getting warmer and (if it can hold off being muggy and raining, or too hot) it's always great conditions to exercise in. Go for walks, go to the park, perhaps even go bushwalking one weekend. More light, more energy. But on the other hand, Christmas and New Year are coming up. aka Eating Season! I'm nervous and worried that I'll overdo it, lose focus and end up slipping backwards instead of going forwards. Already last weekend I went to 2 BBQs, a drinks and a lunch. (It makes me sound like a social butterfly, but really I'm not!!) With most of these events, there's not much option for eating healthy. Or, should I say, the unhealthy foods are so much more tempting than the salads!
But! I think I did very well this last weekend. I didn't eat too much. I tried to make sure my salad to meat/bread proportion was at least half-half. I didn't drink too much either. I'm proud of myself! Perhaps that's where my new-found motivation is coming from!
And because Tuesday is universally acknowledged to be the most boring day of the week, here's a nice picture to brighten things up:
Source: the-curvy-princess.tumblr.com via ApartmentCat on Pinterest.
Yum, I haven't had bananas for so long. They're still too expensive. A girl can dream!
03 November 2011
Writing It Down
Well, hello! It's been a little while. I've been too busy to write. Too busy to exercise, too busy to pay attention to what I'm eating. Every time I think, right, the stress is over, I can stop worrying and get on with things, something else stressful appears that I have to deal with. Paying bills, chairing a meeting at work, having to have medical tests that I can't afford to take time off work for, etc etc! Still, there are things that make me happy - like watching My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and my new Hug Buddy, a stuffed unicorn that I named Wanda. (I'll see if I can post photos next time.) Sometimes a girl just needs to hug something, you know? How much happiness $12 worth of cheap fluffy materials can bring!
In Other News ...
Food. I haven't been paying enough attention lately. On Tuesday I scored 35% on my food and exercise tracker. That's insanely bad! Mind you, it was a public holiday and I went to a barbeque where the only salads were potato ones. Is that a good enough excuse?
I get so conflicted. Part of me thinks - you shouldn't have eaten all that unhealthy food. You should be mindful all the time! Keep your eyes on the prize, all the time! The other part of me thinks - it's a party, have fun! One day won't hurt! Stop worrying and stressing all the time, no wonder you're always unhappy.
No wonder I'm always so confused, more like!
Speaking of food, I'm not sure I like the breakfast cereal I've been eating lately. It's got bits of fibre and almond and macadamia clusters or something. It tastes all right (though not very sweet without any fruit in it). But I've noticed I always feel bloated afterwards, and yet I still get hungry well before morning tea time. This morning I was already thinking about my beetroot dip and celery sticks at 9.30! Perhaps next week I'll try porridge with canned fruit instead.
Meanwhile ...
I must be pretty desperate lately, because last night at the chemist I spent almost $30 on a Quick Trim cleansing drink, endorsed by a certain celebrity famous for doing not much but being hot and having a large booty. You mix 60ml into a glass of water, drink 4 times a day. Then you too, can have a large booty.
Then, for the duration, you're supposed to only eat fruit and vegetables, soup and jelly. Avoid sugar and protein. That's probably going to have more effect on your weight loss than the drink, I reckon! The main ingredient lemon juice, so the drink has a semi-sweet lemony taste. The other main ingredient is aloe vera, which is interesting. I've actually been told to drink it before, as it's soothing to the digestive system. It's also got kombu kelp and a few other herbal things which I don't have time to look up now. So if it works, great! If it doesn't, well, I've bought a very expensive water flavouring. haha!
Seriously, I don't know why I do things like that. Earlier that evening, I'd been writing in my journal. I use my journal to write things that're too private even for here. I haven't written for months (literally), but I bought myself a few mini fountain pen as a treat and wanted to test it out. I ended up writing and writing. Just as I was starting to get down to the nitty gritty, the really painful stuff that I often don't even admit to myself, Boy got home from work! I was deep in a flow of writing, of experiencing thoughts I usually don't acknowledge, of letting them out - and it was a real jerk back into reality to have the bright light switched on and suddenly noise where there was silence. It took me a little while to find my way back to normality. I abandoned my writing mid-sentence. I had to let the thoughts go. Was I on the verge of a break-through? I don't know. But I felt very sad at having to let it go. I also felt very guilty, because of course I was glad to see Boy and welcome him home. I was selfish to wish for more time alone. He kept asking me what was wrong, why I looked sad, and I didn't want to tell him. I barely even knew how to express it to myself, let alone express it to someone else. In the end, I just said that it was the same old thing that I always whinge about. And it really was, actually!
In Other News ...
Food. I haven't been paying enough attention lately. On Tuesday I scored 35% on my food and exercise tracker. That's insanely bad! Mind you, it was a public holiday and I went to a barbeque where the only salads were potato ones. Is that a good enough excuse?
I get so conflicted. Part of me thinks - you shouldn't have eaten all that unhealthy food. You should be mindful all the time! Keep your eyes on the prize, all the time! The other part of me thinks - it's a party, have fun! One day won't hurt! Stop worrying and stressing all the time, no wonder you're always unhappy.
No wonder I'm always so confused, more like!
Speaking of food, I'm not sure I like the breakfast cereal I've been eating lately. It's got bits of fibre and almond and macadamia clusters or something. It tastes all right (though not very sweet without any fruit in it). But I've noticed I always feel bloated afterwards, and yet I still get hungry well before morning tea time. This morning I was already thinking about my beetroot dip and celery sticks at 9.30! Perhaps next week I'll try porridge with canned fruit instead.
Meanwhile ...
I must be pretty desperate lately, because last night at the chemist I spent almost $30 on a Quick Trim cleansing drink, endorsed by a certain celebrity famous for doing not much but being hot and having a large booty. You mix 60ml into a glass of water, drink 4 times a day. Then you too, can have a large booty.
Then, for the duration, you're supposed to only eat fruit and vegetables, soup and jelly. Avoid sugar and protein. That's probably going to have more effect on your weight loss than the drink, I reckon! The main ingredient lemon juice, so the drink has a semi-sweet lemony taste. The other main ingredient is aloe vera, which is interesting. I've actually been told to drink it before, as it's soothing to the digestive system. It's also got kombu kelp and a few other herbal things which I don't have time to look up now. So if it works, great! If it doesn't, well, I've bought a very expensive water flavouring. haha!
Seriously, I don't know why I do things like that. Earlier that evening, I'd been writing in my journal. I use my journal to write things that're too private even for here. I haven't written for months (literally), but I bought myself a few mini fountain pen as a treat and wanted to test it out. I ended up writing and writing. Just as I was starting to get down to the nitty gritty, the really painful stuff that I often don't even admit to myself, Boy got home from work! I was deep in a flow of writing, of experiencing thoughts I usually don't acknowledge, of letting them out - and it was a real jerk back into reality to have the bright light switched on and suddenly noise where there was silence. It took me a little while to find my way back to normality. I abandoned my writing mid-sentence. I had to let the thoughts go. Was I on the verge of a break-through? I don't know. But I felt very sad at having to let it go. I also felt very guilty, because of course I was glad to see Boy and welcome him home. I was selfish to wish for more time alone. He kept asking me what was wrong, why I looked sad, and I didn't want to tell him. I barely even knew how to express it to myself, let alone express it to someone else. In the end, I just said that it was the same old thing that I always whinge about. And it really was, actually!
21 October 2011
A Different Perspective
I'm feeling much much much better today. It's amazing what a little perspective can bring. Let's just forget all that silliness and move on, shall we?
Today I'm well getting over my cold and I have a lot more energy. Unfortunately though I can't translate that into anything useful as I'm busy all evening after work and won't have time to exercise. Such is life sometimes, isn't it? I do really feel that I have a new lease on life at the moment though. Anything is possible! I can lose weight and reach my goals! (Negative Nancy says: no you can't! You'll fail! You're hopeless!) I say, shut up to you!!
Now that the crazy talking to myself is out of the way, it's time to make a plan. I have a lot to do in the next few weeks, and I've been putting a lot of things off for a long time. Boring things like doing my tax return, submitting papers to offices here and there, finishing and returning library books, writing letters, paying bills. There're also some more interesting things like wrapping presents and sewing a backpack for when I go for my walks. In my sad little brain, even these crafty things became chores. There are also some quite daunting social occasions coming up. Ironically, these occasions don't even have anything to do with me - they're being held for other people (though one of them I'm quite heavily involved in organising). Yet my pouty little brain made them out to be all about me - what I wear and how I look will be OMG, like, the very most important thing in the history of the universe, OMG!!! People will be looking at me and judging me, OMG!!!!!!. But now I realise that's just silly and untrue. And even if they are, remember some very good advice I heard once and just think, fuck 'em!! Like I said, it's amazing what a change of perspective can do.
Now to get on with getting all that stuff done. I'm going to have another look at my exercise schedule and see if I need to re-jig it again. Is it actually not working for me, or is it just that my lack of motivation was making it just seem all-too-hard?
Today I'm well getting over my cold and I have a lot more energy. Unfortunately though I can't translate that into anything useful as I'm busy all evening after work and won't have time to exercise. Such is life sometimes, isn't it? I do really feel that I have a new lease on life at the moment though. Anything is possible! I can lose weight and reach my goals! (Negative Nancy says: no you can't! You'll fail! You're hopeless!) I say, shut up to you!!
Now that the crazy talking to myself is out of the way, it's time to make a plan. I have a lot to do in the next few weeks, and I've been putting a lot of things off for a long time. Boring things like doing my tax return, submitting papers to offices here and there, finishing and returning library books, writing letters, paying bills. There're also some more interesting things like wrapping presents and sewing a backpack for when I go for my walks. In my sad little brain, even these crafty things became chores. There are also some quite daunting social occasions coming up. Ironically, these occasions don't even have anything to do with me - they're being held for other people (though one of them I'm quite heavily involved in organising). Yet my pouty little brain made them out to be all about me - what I wear and how I look will be OMG, like, the very most important thing in the history of the universe, OMG!!! People will be looking at me and judging me, OMG!!!!!!. But now I realise that's just silly and untrue. And even if they are, remember some very good advice I heard once and just think, fuck 'em!! Like I said, it's amazing what a change of perspective can do.
Now to get on with getting all that stuff done. I'm going to have another look at my exercise schedule and see if I need to re-jig it again. Is it actually not working for me, or is it just that my lack of motivation was making it just seem all-too-hard?
18 October 2011
Things in Boxes
I've been sick with a cold the last few days. This might sound crazy, but I actually don't mind being sick, most of the time. It gives me an excuse to slow down a bit and not stress out about things. All those things I'd been meaning to do for the last couple of weeks, but haven't? Well, they can wait til next week.
And I have been stressing a bit lately. All those horrible things that I'm heart-poundingly sure are going to happen.... Time to try meditation again, I think.
In better news, Boy bought us some salad boxes. They have all these little compartments, and clip together neatly. It makes eating salad actually fun! I'll post a picture of them when I'm feeling better.
And I have been stressing a bit lately. All those horrible things that I'm heart-poundingly sure are going to happen.... Time to try meditation again, I think.
In better news, Boy bought us some salad boxes. They have all these little compartments, and clip together neatly. It makes eating salad actually fun! I'll post a picture of them when I'm feeling better.
11 October 2011
Quick Hello
Why hello there.
I just wanted to post quickly to say that I'm still around. (In the unlikely event that anyone actually reads this blog...) The last few days have been pretty stressful. But now the most stressful event is over. Now I can relax and only worry about the normally stressful things again for the next few months! Yeah, that sounds pretty mysterious, I know, but I don't really want to go into detail.
I'm still quite tired, mentally exhausted more like, so I'm taking it easy for the next day or two. Instead of my Tuesday Walk today, I went straight home and climbed into bed with a good book and a bowl of rice crackers. The cat always checks me out closely when I have afternoon tea at home, but today she was sorely disappointed. After sniffing at a fragment of cracker for a bit, she went and sat in the doorway and glared at me. Such is life when you live with a cat!
Tomorrow is toning/stretching day; we'll see how I'm feeling then.
I just wanted to post quickly to say that I'm still around. (In the unlikely event that anyone actually reads this blog...) The last few days have been pretty stressful. But now the most stressful event is over. Now I can relax and only worry about the normally stressful things again for the next few months! Yeah, that sounds pretty mysterious, I know, but I don't really want to go into detail.
I'm still quite tired, mentally exhausted more like, so I'm taking it easy for the next day or two. Instead of my Tuesday Walk today, I went straight home and climbed into bed with a good book and a bowl of rice crackers. The cat always checks me out closely when I have afternoon tea at home, but today she was sorely disappointed. After sniffing at a fragment of cracker for a bit, she went and sat in the doorway and glared at me. Such is life when you live with a cat!
Tomorrow is toning/stretching day; we'll see how I'm feeling then.
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