I'm at home at the moment. I'm in job limbo -- technically my job has ended, but only because the funding has run out, NOT because the work has run out. So I'm at home, not knowing if more funding for my position is going to be approved. I could always call the temp agency and ask if there's any work at the moment, but I think I'm giving myself a couple of weeks off. It's the time of year for it. But I digress: I didn't want to talk about work today.
It's Tuesday and I haven't yet renewed Ralph (my weekly to-do list and tracker) or chosen a word for the week. And I'm perfectly fine with that. I hadn't filled up the page last week anyway, there's room for more. Perhaps the word I would choose would be "Relax", only I could still get a call saying the funding has been approved and to go into work. Part of me thinks, "you know it's unlikely to happen so soon, you may as well relax and plan as if you're having this week off." Part of me can't quite do that, though.
I haven't written much here because I've been participating in the Secret Star Society. It's a lot of fun and I've been able to head off some Stuff at the pass by writing about it and sharing it there. But there are a few things I'm still hesitant about. I get most of the sections, but I'm still having trouble with Rally. It's for processing and working on projects, I know that. But it seems really daunting. Perhaps I should re-read the Book of Rally Keys? When I read it the first time though, I got the impression that Rally was this big thing that you need to set aside at least one full day for. Create a safe sanctuary-like space, quiet time, etc. Do proper entry and exit. (I haven't even learned ways that these work best for myself yet!)
But on the other hand, I love how you can talk about anything, from the heart-wrenching to the trivial, without fear of judgement. I can write about my mixed feelings on not buying as many christmas presents this year as in past years. I haven't even started thinking about how I'm going to cope with christmas day yet! It's so comforting to know that other people are going through similar situations, and also that I can leave a comment of support. I've been on for just over a week, and I'm starting to feel a sense of community.
It's just struck me as funny that I'm writing about writing. And now I'm writing about writing about writing! Just write. That's what an article I read earlier this morning said.
Speaking of writing, I've been hesitant to work on the colitis-themed zine. I've been unable to decide how far to go. I could tell all the stories of my experiences, but they're really quite disgusting. I want to share my experiences and speak the truth, but I don't want to gross people out. I'd been thinking about this for a couple of weeks. Then yesterday (the first day of my lack-of-funding-imposed exile, coincidentally), I accidentally went back to sleep after Husband went to work. When I woke up, a name popped into my head. It was the most ridiculous, gnomey, pantomimey name, it made me laugh. I wrote it down so I didn't forget it later, and went on with my day. A few hours later I realised -- I can use this character! He can be the one to tell the stories! I will abrogate all responsiblity and blame for grossing people out onto this character. It was quite exciting.
Showing posts with label Ops. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ops. Show all posts
20 December 2016
08 December 2016
Words, Work and Operations
Firstly, yes I know I didn't post for a couple of weeks. [Insert whinge about being tired and sick here.] Just for the record, my word of the week last week was Recovering, and I actually did quite well at that. I haven't picked a word for this week yet and it's already Thursday, so I'm fairly sure by now there isn't going to be one. I haven't given up or anything like that -- it's just that everything has been so scattered that whenever I tried to think of a word, my brain just swirled and the thoughts blew away. So this week is wordless.
Work has been very busy. Well, it's always busy, but now I'm being given projects with deadlines, so there's more of a sense of urgency. I was writing blog posts and snippets during my lunchbreak, but lately I feel too tired. I enjoy what I'm doing, I feel more comfortable there, and my teammates have expressed their appreciation, so that's nice. There have been a couple of factors that contributed to me feeling more comfortable, I think, but I might write about them later.
The Making-And-Selling-Stuff-Thingy is developing in some unexpected ways. I didn't work on my zine or painting for a while, as my "What's the Point?" monster was in my face a lot for a couple of weeks. But I've been invited to participate in an art exhibition on chronic illness, which opens on 20th January. How amazing is that??! How terrifying is that??! It's resulted in my art going in a slightly different direction than it has been, but I'm open to that. I'd been planning to write a zine on my colitis for years. The paintings will be harder. The types of subject matter I want to depict is different, more complex, than I'm used to doing. I've been practicing drawing, but I need to do more. I feel like it'll take much more time than what I have, to get to a standard that I can be even vaguely satisfied with. There's nothing for it but to practice every day and hope I can get what's in my head down onto canvas in some way.
A lot seems to be happening lately. I signed up for a series of webinars on realising your dream, one a week for the next 5 weeks. I can download them and listen to them at any time though. I'm still trying to work through the 10-part Finding Your Style course, which I think is unofficially on hold at the moment.
And just today..........
Both of the Fluent Self courses I signed up to opened! It's intense, but I feel excited, not overwhelmed. (At the moment, anyway!) I'm not too sure what to expect from either of them. The Monster Colouring course -- is it just colouring, or writing as well, or something else? Colouring is an easily-justifiable fractal flower for my art. The Star Society is more like a forum -- there are no set assignments, and you can take part as much or as little as you want. Of course I want to take part as much as possible, to make me feel like I got my money's worth (though it makes me feel crass to admit that). But also as a regular practice to help me work on my Stuff. Not to mentionnosing into other people's stuff being part of a community of like-minded people.
Progress on Operations
I only have one Op at the moment, so I'm not sure it's worth mentioning.* But it's been stalled for months, so perhaps I should mention it! Operation Konbini has completely stalled. I know what I need to do, and I've written a short list of next steps, I just balk every time it comes to it. Even my tech-savvy friend asking me every single week if I've done it yet and insisting that it's so unbelievably easy etc etc, hasn't spurred me on to do anything. Perhaps airing this particular piece of dirty laundry in public will finally be the impetus I need.
* I guess the Making-And-Selling-Stuff-Thingy is also an Op, but I mentioned that earlier, and it's really an ongoing thing rather than a discrete project, so I'm not sure if I can call it an Op. What are the rules about that? Even if there are any rules? Let's not worry about that now.
Work has been very busy. Well, it's always busy, but now I'm being given projects with deadlines, so there's more of a sense of urgency. I was writing blog posts and snippets during my lunchbreak, but lately I feel too tired. I enjoy what I'm doing, I feel more comfortable there, and my teammates have expressed their appreciation, so that's nice. There have been a couple of factors that contributed to me feeling more comfortable, I think, but I might write about them later.
The Making-And-Selling-Stuff-Thingy is developing in some unexpected ways. I didn't work on my zine or painting for a while, as my "What's the Point?" monster was in my face a lot for a couple of weeks. But I've been invited to participate in an art exhibition on chronic illness, which opens on 20th January. How amazing is that??! How terrifying is that??! It's resulted in my art going in a slightly different direction than it has been, but I'm open to that. I'd been planning to write a zine on my colitis for years. The paintings will be harder. The types of subject matter I want to depict is different, more complex, than I'm used to doing. I've been practicing drawing, but I need to do more. I feel like it'll take much more time than what I have, to get to a standard that I can be even vaguely satisfied with. There's nothing for it but to practice every day and hope I can get what's in my head down onto canvas in some way.
A lot seems to be happening lately. I signed up for a series of webinars on realising your dream, one a week for the next 5 weeks. I can download them and listen to them at any time though. I'm still trying to work through the 10-part Finding Your Style course, which I think is unofficially on hold at the moment.
And just today..........
Both of the Fluent Self courses I signed up to opened! It's intense, but I feel excited, not overwhelmed. (At the moment, anyway!) I'm not too sure what to expect from either of them. The Monster Colouring course -- is it just colouring, or writing as well, or something else? Colouring is an easily-justifiable fractal flower for my art. The Star Society is more like a forum -- there are no set assignments, and you can take part as much or as little as you want. Of course I want to take part as much as possible, to make me feel like I got my money's worth (though it makes me feel crass to admit that). But also as a regular practice to help me work on my Stuff. Not to mention
Progress on Operations
I only have one Op at the moment, so I'm not sure it's worth mentioning.* But it's been stalled for months, so perhaps I should mention it! Operation Konbini has completely stalled. I know what I need to do, and I've written a short list of next steps, I just balk every time it comes to it. Even my tech-savvy friend asking me every single week if I've done it yet and insisting that it's so unbelievably easy etc etc, hasn't spurred me on to do anything. Perhaps airing this particular piece of dirty laundry in public will finally be the impetus I need.
* I guess the Making-And-Selling-Stuff-Thingy is also an Op, but I mentioned that earlier, and it's really an ongoing thing rather than a discrete project, so I'm not sure if I can call it an Op. What are the rules about that? Even if there are any rules? Let's not worry about that now.
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