Various Ramblings

This morning I didn't feel like eating breakfast. I had a porridge sachet and dried fruit, but I was really craving some toast with vegemite. But in my drawer at work - no bread, no vegemite, so sad! So I kept putting off making my breakfast until it was almost morning tea time. I'm rostered for the early lunch break today, so that wasn't a biggie. But then it's a looong time til afternoon tea time. Normally I try and have lunch as late as I can, then there's less time to try and resist afternoon cravings. So days like this throw me out a little bit.

Last night I went to the supermarket on the way home to get some things for dinner. Was starving hungry (not a good time to shop, I know!). Haven't had time to have afternoon tea before I leave work this week, we've been short-staffed and I was too busy. Plus I've been walking part of the way home every night. That means the hungry-beast was on the loose! Was starting to fall into that familiar struggle of wandering around the supermarket so hungry, craving something really unhealthy, and desperately trying to find something healthy that would do instead. Came across a jar of bocconcini cheese in brine in the sale section. I thought, why not? I had them dipped in a little olive oil and mixed herbs. Probably not as healthy a snack as it could have been, but definitely more sophisticated. ;)

Then last night I was browsing fashion blogs. Overall I find it a really positive thing to do. But when I do, I've noticed I have a lot of different reactions all happening at the same time:
* Excited and positive seeing ladies of all different shapes and sizes, in all different types of outfits, being fabulous! I don't feel alone anymore. Yay for the blogosphere! It makes me feel that I could be like them. That I can look sophisticated and professional in work-wear (ref. to my rant the other day). It makes me want to start a fashion blog of my own!
* Less pressured. I'm starting to lose that thought I used to have - that I have to lose X amount of weight before I can start dressing like I really want to. Before I can do that bellydancing class, or make that Japanese street fashion-inspired outfit I've been dreaming of. Or even show photos of my sewing projects on my craft blog. Not that I've actually done any of these things yet, but it just seems more possible than before, if that makes sense. :) And so, losing the maximum amount of weight RightNowDammit!! doesn't seem quite so urgent.
* A bit sad and disappointed in myself that I don't have the confidence to dress like that and be like that. But I'm definitely further along on my path than I was say, a year ago. Back then, I used to read my Shop Til you Drop magazine and think: when I've lost weight, that's what I'll wear and that's where I'll shop. Now, I read it and think: where can I get clothes like that in my size? How can I take bits of a fashion I like and add them to my look? Do I have the ability to make clothes like that in my size?
* Angry and frustrated that here in Australia I can't get most of the fabulous clothes I see. And the few I can get are overpriced! Some of the U.S. and U.K. webshops post internationally now, but they have very high shipping, and I like to try clothes on before I buy them. I have a fairly unusual body shape, and anything fitted just doesn't seem to sit right on me. And anything not fitted I could probably make myself, if I could find the right fabric. And speaking of:
* Really motivated to get crafty and sew some clothes of my own! I get all righteous and think, why should I let some marketing person who's only out to appeal to the great masses decide what I get to wear?! I'll just make my own, dammmmmit! Anika makes all her own clothes herself. Georgina and Gabi have altered clothes with great success. (Georgina also designs her own fabric and makes dresses from it, and she makes and sells her own jewellery - she's my current crafty idol!)
So why can't I just make clothes that exactly fit the vision in my head of how I want to look?? (Part of me cringed even still when I wrote that last bit, but that's an over-share for another day.)

Gosh, I've gone on quite a bit today, haven't I? Sorry about that. Off to lunch now!

This post was transferred from calorieking.com.au

Last Week

Another crazy weekend! I told myself I was going to pay a bit more attention to what I'm doing on the weekend, but it just passed by in a whirlwind. On Saturday I got 30%, and Sun 20%. Terrible! Every single meal was unhealthy, and a few times I only got a score at all because I didn't eat anything. Which is bad, too. Although, I think it's funny that I got a higher score on Saturday when I spent the whole day and evening out doing things, than on Sunday when I had a free day. Weird.

Anyway. Last week's focus was on combating cravings. And I think I did excellently! The only slip-up I had (if you can even call it that) was on Thursday when I had a vege-burger (home-made) instead of the roasted soybeans. But I'm calling that a win - the amount of time I spent wandering around the supermarket, agonising over every little thing, and I ended up choosing vege-burgers. I think I deserve credit for that! As for it turning into a habit, well, tonight I had some soybeans but also some chips. Was very stressed and have my Special Lady Pouty Time - what can I say?

I had a little trouble deciding on this week's Focus. Was very tired and had a busy morning, so I didn't really have the time or the energy to think about it. Then I was having lunch with a couple of friends, and one of them said that I shouldn't dwell on things. So there was my inspiration. My Focus this week is not to worry, not to dwell on things, live in the moment, be zen, however you want to put it. It's appropriate right now, I've got a few things going on that're a bit stressful, applying for jobs not the least of them. That always stresses me out, bigtime. So whenever I catch myself worrying about something, stressing about something I have/haven't done, dreading something that may/may not happen, I just bring myself back to the present. It'll be harder than last week's focus, because it's something I'll need to remember to do all day, every day. But I've been feeling less stressed already, and it's only day one. So yay!

This post was transferred from calorieking.com.au

Supermarket Dilemmas

Spent soooo long at the supermarket last night, it was pathetic. Walking up and down, reading packets, comparing them. Was starting to feel like a right wally by the time I decided on my purchases. Had strong cravings for both savoury and sweet snacks at the same time! (Normally it's one or the other - or one then the other! ) I'd been doing pretty well for the last week with my after-work cravings. Had a piece or fruit or something right before I left work if I was starting to feel a bit peckish, then nothing at home, or if anything, some lite popcorn or low-fat dip, something like that. Feeling pretty good about everything, in the main.

But yesterday! It's Special Lady Time ... and the Lady Grump has come to town! (you know that special grumpiness that only ladies get at certain times? ) And when that happens, the Cravings Monster also often rears its ugly head as well. All afternoon at work, I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd buy from the supermarket after work. I had to go anyway, to buy laundry detergent. So then I was walking up and down, trying to find some snacks that would satisfy the cravings, but also be healthy enough so that I don't have Massive Guilt Syndrome. It's a tough ask!

Eventually after looking at lots of options (did you know that Soy Crisps have more calories than potato chips??) I chose the VitaWeat Multigrain rice-cracker-thingys. Which are pretty healthy, though I did eat the whole packet. They seem to have less in them than normal rice crackers though, not sure. I like the multigrain ones; I think they're tasty enough to have without any toppings. Anyhoo. And choosing a sweet snack was just as torturous. After choosing several things and putting them back, I eventually went to the health food aisle. (Deep down inside I know that foods from that aisle can be just as bad as any others, but - you know!) I ended up choosing this dairy-free white chocolate. Now I look at it, it would have made more sense to choose a sugar-free chocolate, but I wasn't thinking straight at the time, was I? This chocolate still had both sugar and fat in it. I may as well have eaten a block of lard with some table sugar sprinkled on top, am-I-right? Not to mention the colours, preservatives and wholesome Soy Grits mixed in! (To be fair, the soy grits are actually in the nut bar that I bought to eat today. But yes - soy grits!!) Then I took my snacks home and curled up in bed with my new library book and indulged! And tried not to feel too guilty about it. It's only once a month.

This post was transferred from calorieking.com.au