Not much new to say, really. I've been trying to keep things in a steady state while getting ready for Husband's surgery this Friday. Work has been totally flat out last week and so far this week, but I'm hoping it'll die down a bit soon. I'm taking a few days off to look after Husband after his surgery, but I reckon I'll be almost as busy! Maybe I will get time to do a few things around the house and maybe even do some exercise while he's resting, though.
I've been trying so hard lately to be helpful and understanding with Husband's condition. If I'm tired or sore or upset or angry about something, it's not really important because what he's going through is 100 times worse, and I need to be there for him. Unfortunately that attitude has turned me into a real Stressy Bessy (even more than before!) and as a result - guess what? I've been put on blood pressure medication. Yay (not). I'm quite worried about it because it means that things are starting to catch up with me. Things as in: my weight, my age, my anxiety and stressing habits.
I know that I drew up 4 very helpful things to do to make improvements in an earlier post, and I'm starting to think that the relaxation/meditation one is actually the most important. The one that I never get around to. The one that never have time for. That I convince myself isn't really worth the bother. That one. I whacked that one on the list because STRESS appeared in so many of the issues I've been having, and working on it would seem to solve multiple problems.
It never happens though, because I always tell myself that there are things I should be doing, or rather be doing. Also, I still keep getting that feeling that I'll 'fail', and it'll be a waste of time. Even lying in bed at night, when I'm starting to fall asleep, I think 'am I actually relaxing??'; and then my heart starts to pound, I can't breathe properly and I'm awake for the next couple of hours.
The only thing I find relaxing lately is to think about beauty products. Is that sad? hahahahha I make myself laugh!
