I'm feeling much much much better today. It's amazing what a little perspective can bring. Let's just forget all that silliness and move on, shall we?
Today I'm well getting over my cold and I have a lot more energy. Unfortunately though I can't translate that into anything useful as I'm busy all evening after work and won't have time to exercise. Such is life sometimes, isn't it? I do really feel that I have a new lease on life at the moment though. Anything is possible! I can lose weight and reach my goals! (Negative Nancy says: no you can't! You'll fail! You're hopeless!) I say, shut up to you!!
Now that the crazy talking to myself is out of the way, it's time to make a plan. I have a lot to do in the next few weeks, and I've been putting a lot of things off for a long time. Boring things like doing my tax return, submitting papers to offices here and there, finishing and returning library books, writing letters, paying bills. There're also some more interesting things like wrapping presents and sewing a backpack for when I go for my walks. In my sad little brain, even these crafty things became chores. There are also some quite daunting social occasions coming up. Ironically, these occasions don't even have anything to do with me - they're being held for other people (though one of them I'm quite heavily involved in organising). Yet my pouty little brain made them out to be all about me - what I wear and how I look will be OMG, like, the very most important thing in the history of the universe, OMG!!! People will be looking at me and judging me, OMG!!!!!!. But now I realise that's just silly and untrue. And even if they are, remember some very good advice I heard once and just think, fuck 'em!! Like I said, it's amazing what a change of perspective can do.
Now to get on with getting all that stuff done. I'm going to have another look at my exercise schedule and see if I need to re-jig it again. Is it actually not working for me, or is it just that my lack of motivation was making it just seem all-too-hard?
