Well, hello! What an interesting day I had yesterday. To be honest, I was dreading it. I had a task to do at work which involved a lot of bending and manual labour - and yet still I had to wear my corporate workwear! The dress policy at my work is very strict. I decided to wear my favourite top anyway, because it also involved going out of the office and visiting people in different areas, so I wanted to look and feel good. The physical work wasn't bad enough to ruin my clothes, but it sure made me tired and hot and sweaty. Urgh!! Then after lunch I had a reprieve as I had a training session in the afternoon. I thought I'd probably not be able to take much in, but it would be a good chance to relax. As it turned out, it was pretty interesting and I learned a lot of new things. And I got to play with computers, which is always fun, eheheh
I was still really tired when I came out of that; I was looking forward to getting home and resting. I went straight home and got there about half-an-hour earlier than normal. I just had a snack and watched some YouTube videos on my ipod in bed. After a little while, I became restless, and I suddenly thought, "Screw it, I wanna dance!" So I set up my laptop to play my beginners Para Para and practiced that a few times, and then played some of my favourite songs from YouTube and tried to copy the dance moves from them. I had so much fun! I danced until my laptop battery ran down; I would say it was at least half an hour. I was so happy afterwards! I helped Husband make dinner, and I even did some craft later in the evening! I worked on my friend's baby blanket.
I felt a little sore this morning, but it was the good kind of sore that you get after working out, and I still felt happy. So yay! I feel like things might finally start to happen at last. Or I should say - I am going to do things! (I'm trying to have less of a passive attitude to things.)
Hopefully the rain clears up this afternoon, because I want to find some more elephants today!
Showing posts with label career girl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label career girl. Show all posts
17 August 2012
26 July 2012
Sleep - it's highly recommended
Sleep works... who knew?
All this week I've been dead on my feet, like a zombie. I was like that last week too, but this week was even worse. I figure it's fair enough that I'm tired after work, with my colleague being gone and the extra work, etc. But I've been tired the second I wake up in the morning, nearly falling asleep at my desk from the minute I walk in the door, and not even knowing how I managed to make it home at night. My cunning plan of going for walks at lunchtime has been failing because I'm already too tired by lunchtime to even think about walking out the door. All through the day, all I can think about is having a nap when I get home. Yet strangely, when I do arrive at home, I'm tired but kind of wired and not feeling like I want to lie down at all. Too tired to do anything like read or do craft or anything that requires thinking, but not sleepy so that I want to have a nap or go to bed early. Then I stay up pretty late because I just don't feel sleepy, and I usually have to take a sleeping tablet at bedtime (well, usually half-an-hour to an hour after bedtime, to be more truthful!). By yesterday I was just getting to breaking point. I was running on empty. So Husband and I didn't have anything to do last night, so we decided to take sleeping tablets early and go to bed insanely early. I'm talking, 9.00. And it was great! Sleep, nothing beats it.
So I'm feeling a lot better today. Not 100%, more like 60%, but that's a huge improvement on the 5-10% that I was feeling before! Two or 3 more nights of long, luscious sleep, and I'm sure I'll feel much more up to participating in life again. I've made a decision that I'm going to give myself 3 days. I'm not going to worry about anything else that I wanted to get done in my life - not housework, not exercising, not craft deadlines, not anything! I'm going to spend 3 days making sleep my no. 1 priority and getting myself up to speed again.
In Related News ...
I mentioned before that I've been too tired to exercise. And boy, am I feeling it! I also had a 3-and-a-half hour round trip to visit family on the weekend, and now my back is pretty sore. I almost have to laugh, because every time I bend over to pick something up at work, my body goes "ooh, that feels good, do it again! keep doing it!" Body know what it wants.
I'm not as worried about my sore back as I might have been though. I'm going to the chiropractor on the weekend. And since yesterday when I decided to make sleep my no. 1 priority for the next 3 days, I've been feeling calmer and more sure of myself. Less beating myself up. Especially today, and hopefully even more tomorrow. And even more the day after that, ahahahah! I can't sleep in too much on Saturday because of my chiro appointment unfortunately, but on Sunday I'm gonna sleep and sleep, yeah baby!!
All this week I've been dead on my feet, like a zombie. I was like that last week too, but this week was even worse. I figure it's fair enough that I'm tired after work, with my colleague being gone and the extra work, etc. But I've been tired the second I wake up in the morning, nearly falling asleep at my desk from the minute I walk in the door, and not even knowing how I managed to make it home at night. My cunning plan of going for walks at lunchtime has been failing because I'm already too tired by lunchtime to even think about walking out the door. All through the day, all I can think about is having a nap when I get home. Yet strangely, when I do arrive at home, I'm tired but kind of wired and not feeling like I want to lie down at all. Too tired to do anything like read or do craft or anything that requires thinking, but not sleepy so that I want to have a nap or go to bed early. Then I stay up pretty late because I just don't feel sleepy, and I usually have to take a sleeping tablet at bedtime (well, usually half-an-hour to an hour after bedtime, to be more truthful!). By yesterday I was just getting to breaking point. I was running on empty. So Husband and I didn't have anything to do last night, so we decided to take sleeping tablets early and go to bed insanely early. I'm talking, 9.00. And it was great! Sleep, nothing beats it.
So I'm feeling a lot better today. Not 100%, more like 60%, but that's a huge improvement on the 5-10% that I was feeling before! Two or 3 more nights of long, luscious sleep, and I'm sure I'll feel much more up to participating in life again. I've made a decision that I'm going to give myself 3 days. I'm not going to worry about anything else that I wanted to get done in my life - not housework, not exercising, not craft deadlines, not anything! I'm going to spend 3 days making sleep my no. 1 priority and getting myself up to speed again.
In Related News ...
I mentioned before that I've been too tired to exercise. And boy, am I feeling it! I also had a 3-and-a-half hour round trip to visit family on the weekend, and now my back is pretty sore. I almost have to laugh, because every time I bend over to pick something up at work, my body goes "ooh, that feels good, do it again! keep doing it!" Body know what it wants.
I'm not as worried about my sore back as I might have been though. I'm going to the chiropractor on the weekend. And since yesterday when I decided to make sleep my no. 1 priority for the next 3 days, I've been feeling calmer and more sure of myself. Less beating myself up. Especially today, and hopefully even more tomorrow. And even more the day after that, ahahahah! I can't sleep in too much on Saturday because of my chiro appointment unfortunately, but on Sunday I'm gonna sleep and sleep, yeah baby!!
17 April 2012
A Tuesday Kind of Day
Normally I think of Tuesday as being the worst day of the week. The excitement of the weekend is well behind you, but the next weekend is still SO far away.
However, this particular Tuesday is much improved by that fact that it's my birthday! I don't like a lot of fuss, in fact no-one at work knows it's my birthday today. At my old work, they kept a spreadsheet, and on each person's birthday we would all go out for morning tea together (though we had to pay ourselves). I guess the culture is different in every workplace, no?
Anyway, I've just gotten back from my lunchtime walk. It's perfect autumn weather, so I tried to enjoy it. I really do enjoy the walking itself, and getting some fresh air and getting to listen to my music. But I don't enjoy having to dodge crowds of people on the street, being all sweaty afterwards, or feeling very self-conscious. I tried as hard as I could to push all that aside today, though. It's my birthday, I refuse to get down on myself! I'm sweaty, but at least I've done the good thing for myself and I can relax the rest of the day!
Tonight Husband is making me a special dinner. I can't wait for that!
However, this particular Tuesday is much improved by that fact that it's my birthday! I don't like a lot of fuss, in fact no-one at work knows it's my birthday today. At my old work, they kept a spreadsheet, and on each person's birthday we would all go out for morning tea together (though we had to pay ourselves). I guess the culture is different in every workplace, no?
Anyway, I've just gotten back from my lunchtime walk. It's perfect autumn weather, so I tried to enjoy it. I really do enjoy the walking itself, and getting some fresh air and getting to listen to my music. But I don't enjoy having to dodge crowds of people on the street, being all sweaty afterwards, or feeling very self-conscious. I tried as hard as I could to push all that aside today, though. It's my birthday, I refuse to get down on myself! I'm sweaty, but at least I've done the good thing for myself and I can relax the rest of the day!
Tonight Husband is making me a special dinner. I can't wait for that!
14 April 2012
Rant of the Week
I'm not really going to rant, so I don't know why I put that as the title. It just sounded good.
Not much to report on again this week. It was very busy at work so I didn't have much energy for exercising. However, I did walk on Tuesday, and I did create an Exercise Log. It's just an excel spreadsheet with a page for each month. Each day is represented, whether I did actually exercise or not. That way, I can look at it and see at a glance if I exercised 3 days in a row - or didn't exercise 3 days in a row! I can also see quickly if I'm doing a variety of exercises or I'm starting to get a bit same-same and need to mix it up a bit.
I used to be mad into lists etc that I'd created on spreadsheets. I would watch a movie, read a book or finish a craft project just so that I could cross it off my spreadsheet. I would spend hours adding to them, tweaking them, adding colours and making them pretty. Since I started my new job though, they've really been put on the backburner. Whether it's the time needed to maintain them, or all the things in them that I'd been planning to do that I don't have the time and energy to do right now, I don't know. Anyway, the point I'm getting to with this is - I really hope this Exercise Log spreadsheet can fire up at least a little of the excitement I used to have with all my spreadsheets. Will I be motivated to exercise so that there aren't too many blank gaps in my calendar? Will I be just itching to see my progress as I walk further, lift more, play Kinect for longer?
Meanwhile ...
You see, there's this girl at my work. She's absolutely lovely and cute. She works around the other side of the office, so I don't see her every day, but whenever I do, she's wearing the cutest outfits. One time, she wore a skirt with a large, retro floral print on it. A couple of times, a burgundy velvet dress with tights. I really admire it. Rocking the individualistic office wear! The thing that makes me feel so uplifted when I see her outfits though, is that she's ... well, how can I put it? I hate to categorise people, but I'd say she's about a size 18 (though I'm not very good at guessing these things).
OK, I know this makes it sound like I'm stalking her or something, but I think I just have a new fashion crush, that's all! You girls understand, right?
Having seen her a few times in the last week, I've come to realise that I freakin' hate my work clothes! Oh god, I can't stand them! They do not express who I am one tiny little bit. It drives me nuts.
I'm heavily inspired to get me to the hobby room and sew myself a cute floral skirt. I would just need a black top to wear it with (which hopefully won't be too hard to fined) and I'll be set. I'm not good enough yet to sew a dress that I could leave the house in, but perhaps one day soon.....
But then Negative Brain kicks in and says, you won't have the guts to wear that in public! You'll just look like a fat fool. And all that time and effort will be wasted!
Geez, I hate Negative Brain. She really spoils everything, doesn't she?
But then I was reading some of my positive links last night and I realised -
it doesn't matter what I wear. Haters are gonna be haters. They just are. There's nothing you can do to change their minds. (That's plainly clear from some of the trolling I've heard about online.)
When I walk down the street, there's going to be a certain percentage of people who'll laugh, who'll point, who'll look away in pity or disgust. They'll just see the body, not the person. It doesn't matter if I'm wearing a shapeless black floor-length muumuu, or a horizontally striped mini dress with hot pink tights.
So, to follow that logic, it makes sense to just wear whatever I like, and say, (in the words of wise Janet):
"fuck 'em"!!
Not much to report on again this week. It was very busy at work so I didn't have much energy for exercising. However, I did walk on Tuesday, and I did create an Exercise Log. It's just an excel spreadsheet with a page for each month. Each day is represented, whether I did actually exercise or not. That way, I can look at it and see at a glance if I exercised 3 days in a row - or didn't exercise 3 days in a row! I can also see quickly if I'm doing a variety of exercises or I'm starting to get a bit same-same and need to mix it up a bit.
I used to be mad into lists etc that I'd created on spreadsheets. I would watch a movie, read a book or finish a craft project just so that I could cross it off my spreadsheet. I would spend hours adding to them, tweaking them, adding colours and making them pretty. Since I started my new job though, they've really been put on the backburner. Whether it's the time needed to maintain them, or all the things in them that I'd been planning to do that I don't have the time and energy to do right now, I don't know. Anyway, the point I'm getting to with this is - I really hope this Exercise Log spreadsheet can fire up at least a little of the excitement I used to have with all my spreadsheets. Will I be motivated to exercise so that there aren't too many blank gaps in my calendar? Will I be just itching to see my progress as I walk further, lift more, play Kinect for longer?
Meanwhile ...
You see, there's this girl at my work. She's absolutely lovely and cute. She works around the other side of the office, so I don't see her every day, but whenever I do, she's wearing the cutest outfits. One time, she wore a skirt with a large, retro floral print on it. A couple of times, a burgundy velvet dress with tights. I really admire it. Rocking the individualistic office wear! The thing that makes me feel so uplifted when I see her outfits though, is that she's ... well, how can I put it? I hate to categorise people, but I'd say she's about a size 18 (though I'm not very good at guessing these things).
OK, I know this makes it sound like I'm stalking her or something, but I think I just have a new fashion crush, that's all! You girls understand, right?
Having seen her a few times in the last week, I've come to realise that I freakin' hate my work clothes! Oh god, I can't stand them! They do not express who I am one tiny little bit. It drives me nuts.
I'm heavily inspired to get me to the hobby room and sew myself a cute floral skirt. I would just need a black top to wear it with (which hopefully won't be too hard to fined) and I'll be set. I'm not good enough yet to sew a dress that I could leave the house in, but perhaps one day soon.....
But then Negative Brain kicks in and says, you won't have the guts to wear that in public! You'll just look like a fat fool. And all that time and effort will be wasted!
Geez, I hate Negative Brain. She really spoils everything, doesn't she?
But then I was reading some of my positive links last night and I realised -
it doesn't matter what I wear. Haters are gonna be haters. They just are. There's nothing you can do to change their minds. (That's plainly clear from some of the trolling I've heard about online.)
When I walk down the street, there's going to be a certain percentage of people who'll laugh, who'll point, who'll look away in pity or disgust. They'll just see the body, not the person. It doesn't matter if I'm wearing a shapeless black floor-length muumuu, or a horizontally striped mini dress with hot pink tights.
So, to follow that logic, it makes sense to just wear whatever I like, and say, (in the words of wise Janet):
"fuck 'em"!!
08 April 2012
And the Winner Is...
Remember how I mentioned that I took part in the Race Around Oz virtual walk for my workplace well-being programme? I got the funky free pedometer and all? Well, I did my duty and recorded my steps every day. I got really sick of wearing the pedometer, so I did the sensible thing - I wore it for the first few days to get an baseline number of steps for normal work day, normal weekend day, etc. Then I just wore it when I was doing anything different or unusual e.g. exercising, going to the shops, looking at houses, etc. I just added the extra number of steps I did on to the average. I was really careful not to plump up the numbers, in fact I even subtracted a couple of hundred steps here and there so it wouldn't seem like I was cheating.
We all have the best of intentions, but in the end I only did proper cardio exercise 2 or 3 times during the month. We got a sheet which explained how to convert other types of exercise into steps (e.g. swimming, weights, etc.) so I dutifully used it to convert the 2 short toning sessions I did.
Well, guess what?? I was astounded to find at the end that I'd walked over 190kms in the course of the (almost a) month! I couldn't believe it! I mean, I did go for just a couple of walks, and I did go on a couple of mammoth 2-3 hour shopping trips to the local mega-centre, but ... wow!
And not only that but ... I won the competition! I was gobsmacked!
I logged on to the website every couple of days to enter in my details and every single time I was at the top of the leaderboard. I thought, oh yeah, everyone else probably has their stats written down somewhere and is going to enter them in at some point. But even on the last day I was still at the top! I beat the regular walkers, the gym junkies, everyone!
I'm 100% sure that I didn't actually walk/exercise more than anyone else who entered. Don't get me wrong, I'm not putting myself down, I'm just being realistic. I don't go to the gym, I don't work out regularly. I spend the weekends at home on the internet. I heard a few of the others mentioned that they got sick of wearing the pedometer and gave up. So I feel like I won on false pretenses. I'm glad there was no official announcement or handover or anything, because I would have been highly embarrassed.
Negative Nancy says:
the fattest person in the whole place, winning an exercise competition?? She must have cheated!!
Either that, or everyone else exercises even less than I do! (And those that exercise more didn't have the time or diligence to do the competition properly.)
In truth, I put my win entirely down to good record-keeping, and an ingrained impulse to do what other people expect of me. Nevertheless, I won this prize, which is actually pretty sweet:
It's a waterbottle ; microfibre towel ; hand sanitiser ; healthy eating cookbook ; and nude food mover lunchbox. It's a much better prize than I expected. I will try to accept it with grace.
Meanwhile ...
Last night I found this website called The Purpose Fairy. It has posts like:
15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy
Give Up Your Self-Defeating Self-Talk
3 Golden Rules For A Better Life
Maybe I was feeling a bit hippie last night, but there were a few bits that I found quite inspiring.
I've started to collect quite a few inspiring links. I'm thinking of putting them together on a special page.
Cheerio!
We all have the best of intentions, but in the end I only did proper cardio exercise 2 or 3 times during the month. We got a sheet which explained how to convert other types of exercise into steps (e.g. swimming, weights, etc.) so I dutifully used it to convert the 2 short toning sessions I did.
Well, guess what?? I was astounded to find at the end that I'd walked over 190kms in the course of the (almost a) month! I couldn't believe it! I mean, I did go for just a couple of walks, and I did go on a couple of mammoth 2-3 hour shopping trips to the local mega-centre, but ... wow!
And not only that but ... I won the competition! I was gobsmacked!
I logged on to the website every couple of days to enter in my details and every single time I was at the top of the leaderboard. I thought, oh yeah, everyone else probably has their stats written down somewhere and is going to enter them in at some point. But even on the last day I was still at the top! I beat the regular walkers, the gym junkies, everyone!
I'm 100% sure that I didn't actually walk/exercise more than anyone else who entered. Don't get me wrong, I'm not putting myself down, I'm just being realistic. I don't go to the gym, I don't work out regularly. I spend the weekends at home on the internet. I heard a few of the others mentioned that they got sick of wearing the pedometer and gave up. So I feel like I won on false pretenses. I'm glad there was no official announcement or handover or anything, because I would have been highly embarrassed.
the fattest person in the whole place, winning an exercise competition?? She must have cheated!!
Either that, or everyone else exercises even less than I do! (And those that exercise more didn't have the time or diligence to do the competition properly.)
In truth, I put my win entirely down to good record-keeping, and an ingrained impulse to do what other people expect of me. Nevertheless, I won this prize, which is actually pretty sweet:
It's a waterbottle ; microfibre towel ; hand sanitiser ; healthy eating cookbook ; and nude food mover lunchbox. It's a much better prize than I expected. I will try to accept it with grace.
Meanwhile ...
Last night I found this website called The Purpose Fairy. It has posts like:
15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy
Give Up Your Self-Defeating Self-Talk
3 Golden Rules For A Better Life
Maybe I was feeling a bit hippie last night, but there were a few bits that I found quite inspiring.
I've started to collect quite a few inspiring links. I'm thinking of putting them together on a special page.
Cheerio!
05 April 2012
Thinking Time
I've been 'away' for a little bit, haven't I? Time just flies by.
Since I started my new job, I honestly feel like time has been going ten times as fast as normal. I tell a friend I'll call or email the next day, and all of a sudden a week has passed. My to-do list is clogged with overdue to-do's. Things pop up on my calendar with alarming suddenness. It's really kinda crazy.
I have to admit, things haven't been going so well lately. I'm still bogged down with feeling tired all the time. I haven't been eating as well lately, either. I don't have the energy to put the effort and organisation in that it needs. At least I've started working on some craft projects again, which always makes me happier.
Things have started happening in my head though. I've had some dreams lately which are clearly trying to tell me something important. I tend to have a habit of pushing those kind of deep thoughts/ideas away, because I don't have time to think them through properly. 99% of my personal journal entries end with "... and I don't have time to finish because I have to ..." (sometimes with swear words thrown in!) It became extremely frustrating, so I've been writing in my journal less and less lately. Not at all, in fact. I've stopped writing, stopped thinking, stopped trying to change. I've been doing it for years, in fact. And things have been slowly going downhill to a point where I'm completely in denial.
The dreams and discussions I've been having lately have brought things to the forefront, though. Perhaps things have gotten so bad that my subconscious is going, "I'm sick of this crap! That's enough!" Who knows? What will happen next? Who knows?
Just tonight I found this blog post by the gorgeous Stephanie Zwicky, comedienne and style icon of Paris. I'm a regular stalker on her blog. The highly personal post explains her life story and relationship to her body/weight, and is called
My Body I Love You. (It's translated from French so the grammar isn't perfect, but the message certainly gets across.) This link is added to my inspirational link list!
Since I started my new job, I honestly feel like time has been going ten times as fast as normal. I tell a friend I'll call or email the next day, and all of a sudden a week has passed. My to-do list is clogged with overdue to-do's. Things pop up on my calendar with alarming suddenness. It's really kinda crazy.
I have to admit, things haven't been going so well lately. I'm still bogged down with feeling tired all the time. I haven't been eating as well lately, either. I don't have the energy to put the effort and organisation in that it needs. At least I've started working on some craft projects again, which always makes me happier.
Things have started happening in my head though. I've had some dreams lately which are clearly trying to tell me something important. I tend to have a habit of pushing those kind of deep thoughts/ideas away, because I don't have time to think them through properly. 99% of my personal journal entries end with "... and I don't have time to finish because I have to ..." (sometimes with swear words thrown in!) It became extremely frustrating, so I've been writing in my journal less and less lately. Not at all, in fact. I've stopped writing, stopped thinking, stopped trying to change. I've been doing it for years, in fact. And things have been slowly going downhill to a point where I'm completely in denial.
The dreams and discussions I've been having lately have brought things to the forefront, though. Perhaps things have gotten so bad that my subconscious is going, "I'm sick of this crap! That's enough!" Who knows? What will happen next? Who knows?
Just tonight I found this blog post by the gorgeous Stephanie Zwicky, comedienne and style icon of Paris. I'm a regular stalker on her blog. The highly personal post explains her life story and relationship to her body/weight, and is called
My Body I Love You. (It's translated from French so the grammar isn't perfect, but the message certainly gets across.) This link is added to my inspirational link list!
04 February 2012
Saturday Things
Not too much else to update you on since my last post. So I'll be a total girl and waffle on about clothes again for a bit. 
I did go to Target last weekend I was pleasantly surprised by the range of workwear. I bought 2 nice tops and ... gasp ... a skirt! During the week I debuted the tops (one of them twice! Washed in between, of course!). One of them has a little gaping problem around the neckline, but it's nothing a couple of darts on the shoulders shouldn't fix. (I often have to alter my clothes due to mywierdy curvy body shape.)
I don't normally wear skirts, as I've mentioned before, but I bought just one in case the weather gets stonkingly hot again like it did a couple of weeks ago. If the thought of wearing pants is unbearable, then at least I have another option. I just don't have many tops anymore that go with skirts. Hopefully I can rustle something up that doesn't look too silly. And there's only one way I can style my hair. And half my jewellery and accessories are out ... This corporate dressing thing is getting really tedious already. *sighs*
The other sad fact is - and I hate to have to admit it - I should probably get rid of half my casual clothes. Almost all of the clothes I used to wear to work no longer cut the mustard. So that now means I have a RID.IC.ulously large collection of clothes that I can only wear on the weekend.
2 days a week.
that's 28.6% of the time...
7.1% of the time taking into account that I don't wear my clothes to bed.
OK, perhaps I'm getting a little melodramatic now. But I'm still kinda depressed over it. How I look has always been important to me. How people present themselves tells a huge amount about them. I want to express myself: my quirky, individual, creative, slightly nutty self. In the last 5 years or so, this ideal has slipped away more and more. It's a combination of factors - my weight, lack of range of clothes in my size, working full-time and having to be in an office environment, and at times, not even knowing what my personal style is.
I don't know what the solution to this quandary is. I have so much going on in my life at the moment, what to wear should really be the last thing on my mind. But I can't help thinking about it a lot lately. I keep going back to that old thought of, if only I lost weight, things would be so much better. I just don't know what to do.
I did go to Target last weekend I was pleasantly surprised by the range of workwear. I bought 2 nice tops and ... gasp ... a skirt! During the week I debuted the tops (one of them twice! Washed in between, of course!). One of them has a little gaping problem around the neckline, but it's nothing a couple of darts on the shoulders shouldn't fix. (I often have to alter my clothes due to my
I don't normally wear skirts, as I've mentioned before, but I bought just one in case the weather gets stonkingly hot again like it did a couple of weeks ago. If the thought of wearing pants is unbearable, then at least I have another option. I just don't have many tops anymore that go with skirts. Hopefully I can rustle something up that doesn't look too silly. And there's only one way I can style my hair. And half my jewellery and accessories are out ... This corporate dressing thing is getting really tedious already. *sighs*
The other sad fact is - and I hate to have to admit it - I should probably get rid of half my casual clothes. Almost all of the clothes I used to wear to work no longer cut the mustard. So that now means I have a RID.IC.ulously large collection of clothes that I can only wear on the weekend.
2 days a week.
that's 28.6% of the time...
7.1% of the time taking into account that I don't wear my clothes to bed.
OK, perhaps I'm getting a little melodramatic now. But I'm still kinda depressed over it. How I look has always been important to me. How people present themselves tells a huge amount about them. I want to express myself: my quirky, individual, creative, slightly nutty self. In the last 5 years or so, this ideal has slipped away more and more. It's a combination of factors - my weight, lack of range of clothes in my size, working full-time and having to be in an office environment, and at times, not even knowing what my personal style is.
I don't know what the solution to this quandary is. I have so much going on in my life at the moment, what to wear should really be the last thing on my mind. But I can't help thinking about it a lot lately. I keep going back to that old thought of, if only I lost weight, things would be so much better. I just don't know what to do.
31 January 2012
A New Chapter, Chapter 2
Just a quick update on me, right now. My new job is going very well so far. I'm busy, busy, busy, learning new things, getting to know my colleagues better, etc. Overall, it's a positive experience so far, and I'm feeling really good about everything.
Food-wise, right from the start I've been able to have the healthy diet that I did before at work. The only difference is that I've been too busy to have afternoon tea at work, and been really hungry when I get home. They don't have free milo like they did at my old work, so if I start to get cravings and want to have a mug of milo, I'll have to make sure I have some of my own on hand. I haven't had this issue so far, though.
I can't update my food/exercise diary at work now, like I was able to before. I would also record any colitis symptoms as they came up, etc. (I also have spreadsheets for my budget, etc that I'd update at work too.) So I'll need to make some changes around how to record everything so I don't forget. At the moment I have a notebook that I have on my desk that I note things down really quickly in. Then when I get home at night I update my spreadsheet. I'll just have to see if that's workable in the long term or if it'll get too annoying.
Exercise-wise, I have to admit it's been a no-go so far. I've been too tired and too focussed on getting my work routine down. I'm aware of that though, so I made sure to exercise last weekend when I had the time/energy. I'm hoping that in the next few weeks as I get more used to the job, I'll be less tired. Then I can start adding in exercise again during the week.
Food-wise, right from the start I've been able to have the healthy diet that I did before at work. The only difference is that I've been too busy to have afternoon tea at work, and been really hungry when I get home. They don't have free milo like they did at my old work, so if I start to get cravings and want to have a mug of milo, I'll have to make sure I have some of my own on hand. I haven't had this issue so far, though.
I can't update my food/exercise diary at work now, like I was able to before. I would also record any colitis symptoms as they came up, etc. (I also have spreadsheets for my budget, etc that I'd update at work too.) So I'll need to make some changes around how to record everything so I don't forget. At the moment I have a notebook that I have on my desk that I note things down really quickly in. Then when I get home at night I update my spreadsheet. I'll just have to see if that's workable in the long term or if it'll get too annoying.
Exercise-wise, I have to admit it's been a no-go so far. I've been too tired and too focussed on getting my work routine down. I'm aware of that though, so I made sure to exercise last weekend when I had the time/energy. I'm hoping that in the next few weeks as I get more used to the job, I'll be less tired. Then I can start adding in exercise again during the week.
28 January 2012
A New Chapter
Coming to you from Week 1 of my new job ... the end of that week, that is .... or something like that ....
It's been a real rollercoaster ride. I'm excited to be learning new things and have a more secure position, honoured that I was chosen to work for such a highly-regarded organisation, terrified that I won't be able to learn all the new things and somehow flunk my probation period, not to mention meeting all those new people and wondering what they think of me, worried that I'll say something daft and/or inappropriate. And I miss my old work friends terribly. I can't be myself now, the way I could around them. I feel lonely.
I'm tired all the time. This is completely understandable, so I'm trying not to beat myself up. Of course I'd be tired after having to concentrate on learning new things all day. Also I'm a natural introvert, so meeting all those new people and having to chat with them, etc is very draining. But I've also lost any desire whatsoever to work on my art/craft projects or my lists. I haven't even felt like writing in my blog. When I'm not being creative at all, it makes me feel sad. I hope once I get back into a routine I'll get my mojo back.
I had a dream last night which upset me a little bit. (My dreams can be quite random and bizarre, but I think it reflected some issues I'm really having right now, so bear with me!) I was in a school gym. But it was also a hospital - there was a row of about 4 hospital beds along one wall. All the patients were there to have lap banding surgery. There was one girl who was overweight, but all the others were very slim. I got really angry, thinking they don't need lap banding surgery! Even the overweight girl had such a look of stupid hope on her face, as if she thought it would solve all her problems. I was worried for her - it seemed as if she didn't really know what was going to happen. That made me even more angry.
Then a number of people came into the room, and it was more like a place to socialise. One of the people there was a guy I'd had a huge crush on years ago in real life (before I met Man, obviously). He'd been friendly to me, but didn't feel the same way about me. I always felt pretty inadequate around him.
So I was there trying to be cool, or at least show some confidence. None of the people came up to me to socialise, so I just hung out on my own. I reached up to adjust my ponytail, and my stomach was exposed. Almost everyone in the room went, eeuww! and acted really disgusted. Even some of the people in the hospital beds. I was pretty upset by that, but I tried to regroup myself. Then some music started playing. It was my favourite song. I was so excited! I closed my eyes and started dancing. But after a few seconds I remembered everyone else who was in the room, and stopped dancing. I told myself to stop doing that and said to myself - people with bodies like mine aren't supposed to move them around. They're supposed to stay still. Which in this case meant not enjoying myself and not expressing myself. It made me really sad. Then the dream ended.
What a horrible dream! I was so depressed when I woke up. But I'm very sure I know why I had the dream. All week I've been feeling pretty inadequate.
My new job is in a different part of the city. Even though I still work for the Government, it's in an area with mostly corporate businesses instead of mostly Government buildings; and I've noticed the type of people and how they're dressed tends to be different. The people tend to be younger and dressed in more corporate wear. To be blunt - there are a lot of suits and show ponies! And less people of diverse ages and body types.
I suppose I'm lucky to count youth on my side - I present as being at least 5 years younger than I really am, I've been told. But having a "socially unacceptable" body type is hard, really hard. Perhaps I'm just feeling fragile at the moment because of all the new job stuff. My normally semi-thick skin is worn a bit thin right now. But I can't help noticing how the girls with the tans and perky ponytails and short skirts look at me. Thankfully I haven't noticed this in the office at all, only out on the street. Perhaps I feel more confident in the office because I know that they all know that I've landed a pretty good job? Or perhaps they're just genuinely more friendly?
Either way, I've been spending my lunchbreak inside, at my desk, lemme tell you! A couple of times people have encouraged me to go outside and get some sun: no way, no how! That's how I'm used to spending most of my lunchbreaks anyway - eating lunch at my desk and surfing the internet. (Don't worry, I checked the internet policy with my manager and this is OK.) Before I moved to the new job, I had visions of continuing my twice-weekly habit of going for a walk through the park at lunchtime. But well, there is no park here and the streets are chokkers with people at lunch time. Not to mention that I'd feel like a right wally power-walking down the street in my fancy corporate get up. So I think that's a no-go. I also had visions of doing my other thing I liked to do on Monday nights - which is walking part of the way home from work along the tram line. That is probably more do-able. If I got all sweaty it would be OK, because I'd be going straight home afterwards. But again, I'd have the streets-chokkers-with-people problem. I may just need to experiment with different routes to solve that problem, though. Once my routine is up and running, I'll look into it.
Another thing which the dream touched on a little bit, which has been worrying me a lot is ... CLOTHES! I hate them so much. Last weekend before I started my job, I re-organised my wardrobe. Before it had been pants on one side, tops on the other. Now it's casual clothes on the left and work clothes on the right. I went through all my clothes. It took some time. (And that wasn't even ones that are in the hobby room waiting for repair or alteration!) I'm fine for pants, that's OK. As for tops - of all the ones that I was sure will be OK, plus ones that I thought may be OK at a stretch, there were 10. Out of those, there were:
- one that I would no longer be caught dead in;
- one that I never really liked;
- one that I'm not too sure about and my bra shows if I'm not always adjusting it;
- one that only just fits and it pretty uncomfortable so I hate it;
- one that's new and I've never worn, so I don't know how I feel about it.
So that makes 5 that I feel really comfortable in. (6 if I end up liking the new one.) A couple of those are pushing the boundaries of 'good enough'. And 2 of them are getting old now and are in danger of looking ratty if I wear them too often.
AND ... only one (1) of them is suitable for really hot weather.
Not only that, but looking into my wardrobe, I can see that every single one of them is either black and white, or black and red. I hate black and I hate red! And I hate white too, actually (see my previous post on style preferences). How did this happen??!
A girl can only come to one conclusion - I need to go shopping!
Geez, I hate shopping. I used to love it, but now I only go shopping about once every 6 months, when there's a big sale on. Occasionally I'll go at other times, when I'm feeling really good about myself, but that never lasts for long, lemme tell you! As soon as I see what's available in the larger sizes compared to the 'normal' sizes, it makes me want to curl up in a corner and cry! Even when I go to a shop that caters especially for larger sizes, I can't afford most of what's there, and even though most things come in my size, either they don't suit my body type, they're an ugly colour, too casual, too nanna, or something else I hate about them.
However ... I didn't rush out and go shopping straight away. Over the last week, one of the things I wanted to observe in the office was what the other women were wearing, to gauge what standard of clothes it would be acceptable for me to wear. Then I'd have a better idea of what to buy. Well, it was an exercise in frustration. Every time I saw a woman wearing a top I liked, I thought, 'oooh, I'd like that!' Then I'd think, 'but that won't come in my size, idiot!'
I think I was really driving myself barmy with frustration and confusion. How can I conform to the corporate image, yet still express my creative, quirky self, all within the confinement of the absolutely pathetic range of clothing options available to the larger sized young woman??! Arrgghh!
I'm going shopping tomorrow and I'm really not looking forward to it. Dreading it, even. Afterwards I'll get myself some Japanese stationery to cheer myself up.
Excuse this post for being insanely long, but I just had some stuff to get off my chest. Hopefully I'll feel better now. Man is at work today, so I'm kicking around the house on my own. Time for some pampering, I think!
It's been a real rollercoaster ride. I'm excited to be learning new things and have a more secure position, honoured that I was chosen to work for such a highly-regarded organisation, terrified that I won't be able to learn all the new things and somehow flunk my probation period, not to mention meeting all those new people and wondering what they think of me, worried that I'll say something daft and/or inappropriate. And I miss my old work friends terribly. I can't be myself now, the way I could around them. I feel lonely.
I'm tired all the time. This is completely understandable, so I'm trying not to beat myself up. Of course I'd be tired after having to concentrate on learning new things all day. Also I'm a natural introvert, so meeting all those new people and having to chat with them, etc is very draining. But I've also lost any desire whatsoever to work on my art/craft projects or my lists. I haven't even felt like writing in my blog. When I'm not being creative at all, it makes me feel sad. I hope once I get back into a routine I'll get my mojo back.
I had a dream last night which upset me a little bit. (My dreams can be quite random and bizarre, but I think it reflected some issues I'm really having right now, so bear with me!) I was in a school gym. But it was also a hospital - there was a row of about 4 hospital beds along one wall. All the patients were there to have lap banding surgery. There was one girl who was overweight, but all the others were very slim. I got really angry, thinking they don't need lap banding surgery! Even the overweight girl had such a look of stupid hope on her face, as if she thought it would solve all her problems. I was worried for her - it seemed as if she didn't really know what was going to happen. That made me even more angry.
Then a number of people came into the room, and it was more like a place to socialise. One of the people there was a guy I'd had a huge crush on years ago in real life (before I met Man, obviously). He'd been friendly to me, but didn't feel the same way about me. I always felt pretty inadequate around him.
So I was there trying to be cool, or at least show some confidence. None of the people came up to me to socialise, so I just hung out on my own. I reached up to adjust my ponytail, and my stomach was exposed. Almost everyone in the room went, eeuww! and acted really disgusted. Even some of the people in the hospital beds. I was pretty upset by that, but I tried to regroup myself. Then some music started playing. It was my favourite song. I was so excited! I closed my eyes and started dancing. But after a few seconds I remembered everyone else who was in the room, and stopped dancing. I told myself to stop doing that and said to myself - people with bodies like mine aren't supposed to move them around. They're supposed to stay still. Which in this case meant not enjoying myself and not expressing myself. It made me really sad. Then the dream ended.
What a horrible dream! I was so depressed when I woke up. But I'm very sure I know why I had the dream. All week I've been feeling pretty inadequate.
My new job is in a different part of the city. Even though I still work for the Government, it's in an area with mostly corporate businesses instead of mostly Government buildings; and I've noticed the type of people and how they're dressed tends to be different. The people tend to be younger and dressed in more corporate wear. To be blunt - there are a lot of suits and show ponies! And less people of diverse ages and body types.
I suppose I'm lucky to count youth on my side - I present as being at least 5 years younger than I really am, I've been told. But having a "socially unacceptable" body type is hard, really hard. Perhaps I'm just feeling fragile at the moment because of all the new job stuff. My normally semi-thick skin is worn a bit thin right now. But I can't help noticing how the girls with the tans and perky ponytails and short skirts look at me. Thankfully I haven't noticed this in the office at all, only out on the street. Perhaps I feel more confident in the office because I know that they all know that I've landed a pretty good job? Or perhaps they're just genuinely more friendly?
Either way, I've been spending my lunchbreak inside, at my desk, lemme tell you! A couple of times people have encouraged me to go outside and get some sun: no way, no how! That's how I'm used to spending most of my lunchbreaks anyway - eating lunch at my desk and surfing the internet. (Don't worry, I checked the internet policy with my manager and this is OK.) Before I moved to the new job, I had visions of continuing my twice-weekly habit of going for a walk through the park at lunchtime. But well, there is no park here and the streets are chokkers with people at lunch time. Not to mention that I'd feel like a right wally power-walking down the street in my fancy corporate get up. So I think that's a no-go. I also had visions of doing my other thing I liked to do on Monday nights - which is walking part of the way home from work along the tram line. That is probably more do-able. If I got all sweaty it would be OK, because I'd be going straight home afterwards. But again, I'd have the streets-chokkers-with-people problem. I may just need to experiment with different routes to solve that problem, though. Once my routine is up and running, I'll look into it.
Another thing which the dream touched on a little bit, which has been worrying me a lot is ... CLOTHES! I hate them so much. Last weekend before I started my job, I re-organised my wardrobe. Before it had been pants on one side, tops on the other. Now it's casual clothes on the left and work clothes on the right. I went through all my clothes. It took some time. (And that wasn't even ones that are in the hobby room waiting for repair or alteration!) I'm fine for pants, that's OK. As for tops - of all the ones that I was sure will be OK, plus ones that I thought may be OK at a stretch, there were 10. Out of those, there were:
- one that I would no longer be caught dead in;
- one that I never really liked;
- one that I'm not too sure about and my bra shows if I'm not always adjusting it;
- one that only just fits and it pretty uncomfortable so I hate it;
- one that's new and I've never worn, so I don't know how I feel about it.
So that makes 5 that I feel really comfortable in. (6 if I end up liking the new one.) A couple of those are pushing the boundaries of 'good enough'. And 2 of them are getting old now and are in danger of looking ratty if I wear them too often.
AND ... only one (1) of them is suitable for really hot weather.
Not only that, but looking into my wardrobe, I can see that every single one of them is either black and white, or black and red. I hate black and I hate red! And I hate white too, actually (see my previous post on style preferences). How did this happen??!
A girl can only come to one conclusion - I need to go shopping!
Geez, I hate shopping. I used to love it, but now I only go shopping about once every 6 months, when there's a big sale on. Occasionally I'll go at other times, when I'm feeling really good about myself, but that never lasts for long, lemme tell you! As soon as I see what's available in the larger sizes compared to the 'normal' sizes, it makes me want to curl up in a corner and cry! Even when I go to a shop that caters especially for larger sizes, I can't afford most of what's there, and even though most things come in my size, either they don't suit my body type, they're an ugly colour, too casual, too nanna, or something else I hate about them.
However ... I didn't rush out and go shopping straight away. Over the last week, one of the things I wanted to observe in the office was what the other women were wearing, to gauge what standard of clothes it would be acceptable for me to wear. Then I'd have a better idea of what to buy. Well, it was an exercise in frustration. Every time I saw a woman wearing a top I liked, I thought, 'oooh, I'd like that!' Then I'd think, 'but that won't come in my size, idiot!'
'not in my size.....'
'not in my size.....'
'not in my size.....'
'not in my size.....'
I think I was really driving myself barmy with frustration and confusion. How can I conform to the corporate image, yet still express my creative, quirky self, all within the confinement of the absolutely pathetic range of clothing options available to the larger sized young woman??! Arrgghh!
I'm going shopping tomorrow and I'm really not looking forward to it. Dreading it, even. Afterwards I'll get myself some Japanese stationery to cheer myself up.
Excuse this post for being insanely long, but I just had some stuff to get off my chest. Hopefully I'll feel better now. Man is at work today, so I'm kicking around the house on my own. Time for some pampering, I think!
21 January 2012
With My Margarita Beside Me
Yesterday was my last day at my old work. I cried, but not in front of too many people, thankfully! I was there for 4 years. I had good times and bad times (but mostly good ones) and made some wonderful friends. I'm determined to keep in touch with them; not to make the same mistakes I have before.
This weekend I'm preparing to start my new job on Monday. Things aren't going as well as I'd hoped. I injured myself this morning - by running into a wall! I know, that sounds like the typical domestic abuse excuse, but it's true! I was walking along with my (open) laptop and the corner of it banged against the wall. The laptop is fine, but the other corner of it banged into my side, and made me twist abruptly. So now my lower back/hip area is sore and stiff. And I only just saw my chiropractor a few days ago; my next appointment isn't for another 3 1/2 weeks. Murphy's Law!
So I'm just taking it easy and applying Goanna Rub at regular intervals. I've had this kind of injury before and usually it's cleared up in a few days if I do the right thing - keep moving so it doesn't lock up from sitting still for too long, and don't sit/lie in a position which is going to aggravate it. Oh, I hope it's better by Monday!
Complicating matters is that my hormones are all over the place at the moment. One minute I feel happy and optimistic. Literally 5 minutes later, I'm feeling miserable, dreading Monday, can't stop focussing on the pain and feeling like crying.
I keep getting an urge to get online and buy things, to a) congratulate myself for landing a permanent job, or b) console myself for not getting to hang out with my fun work friends anymore. So perhaps I shouldn't make this post too much longer! Boy and I have decided that we're going to save as much money as we can and buy a place of our own ASAP. Hopefully in about a year, if all goes well.
But before I go, to cheer myself up - in my last post I mentioned that I'd post some pics of what I'd wear to work if size/availability/fit/practicality/societal prejudice were not an issue. Note: I would still replace the heels with flats in any of these!
Source: polyvore.com via ApartmentCat on Pinterest.
I love polka dots!
And mixing neutrals with pops of
bright colour in the accessories.
Source: southernbelleblog2.tumblr.com via ApartmentCat on Pinterest.
Hair-wise I'd go with a low, smooth bun,
but I love the bright skirt toned down with light neutrals.
I'd probably not use the sexy/daft facial expression, either.
Just sayin'.
Source: modcloth.com via ApartmentCat on Pinterest.
This checked dress just makes my heart sing!
I'd pair it with a yellow bag in summer,
and navy blue or purple tights in winter.
Source: stylehive.com via ApartmentCat on Pinterest.
I love this sweet, feminine blouse!
The colour makes me smile. Though I might be
pushing it with the little pom poms!
Source: kendieveryday.blogspot.com via ApartmentCat on Pinterest.
Again, neutral greys with a fun splash of colour.
Neat and stylish.
This weekend I'm preparing to start my new job on Monday. Things aren't going as well as I'd hoped. I injured myself this morning - by running into a wall! I know, that sounds like the typical domestic abuse excuse, but it's true! I was walking along with my (open) laptop and the corner of it banged against the wall. The laptop is fine, but the other corner of it banged into my side, and made me twist abruptly. So now my lower back/hip area is sore and stiff. And I only just saw my chiropractor a few days ago; my next appointment isn't for another 3 1/2 weeks. Murphy's Law!
So I'm just taking it easy and applying Goanna Rub at regular intervals. I've had this kind of injury before and usually it's cleared up in a few days if I do the right thing - keep moving so it doesn't lock up from sitting still for too long, and don't sit/lie in a position which is going to aggravate it. Oh, I hope it's better by Monday!
Complicating matters is that my hormones are all over the place at the moment. One minute I feel happy and optimistic. Literally 5 minutes later, I'm feeling miserable, dreading Monday, can't stop focussing on the pain and feeling like crying.
I keep getting an urge to get online and buy things, to a) congratulate myself for landing a permanent job, or b) console myself for not getting to hang out with my fun work friends anymore. So perhaps I shouldn't make this post too much longer! Boy and I have decided that we're going to save as much money as we can and buy a place of our own ASAP. Hopefully in about a year, if all goes well.
But before I go, to cheer myself up - in my last post I mentioned that I'd post some pics of what I'd wear to work if size/availability/fit/practicality/societal prejudice were not an issue. Note: I would still replace the heels with flats in any of these!
Source: polyvore.com via ApartmentCat on Pinterest.
I love polka dots!
And mixing neutrals with pops of
bright colour in the accessories.
Source: southernbelleblog2.tumblr.com via ApartmentCat on Pinterest.
Hair-wise I'd go with a low, smooth bun,
but I love the bright skirt toned down with light neutrals.
I'd probably not use the sexy/daft facial expression, either.
Just sayin'.
Source: modcloth.com via ApartmentCat on Pinterest.
This checked dress just makes my heart sing!
I'd pair it with a yellow bag in summer,
and navy blue or purple tights in winter.
Source: stylehive.com via ApartmentCat on Pinterest.
I love this sweet, feminine blouse!
The colour makes me smile. Though I might be
pushing it with the little pom poms!
Source: kendieveryday.blogspot.com via ApartmentCat on Pinterest.
Again, neutral greys with a fun splash of colour.
Neat and stylish.
19 January 2012
Can I Work It?
Mentioned the other day that I'm starting a new job next week. A lot of my focus at the moment (being a girl, naturally) is on - what am I going to wear??!
At my current job, the dress code is 'business casual'. Being in an area where there's a certain amount of physical labour involved each day, the management are quite lenient and it tends to veer more towards the 'casual' end of the spectrum. (The only real restriction is no jeans except on Fridays.) For a while, after being convinced by some friends that it would be good for my career, I tried wearing more upmarket clothes. But they kept getting ripped when they got caught on things, and dusty when I was in the storage area, not to mention stained when I spilt coffee etc. on them. It was very frustrating - ruining these fancy clothes that I'd spent so much money on. Another important factor is that I felt like a right wally dressed up to the nines when I was pushing a trolley around delivering people's mail. So once I'd ruined all those clothes, I went to the other end of the spectrum and went as cheap and casual as I could get away with. But that didn't feel right either. I felt like a bit of a slob. I felt like - if I wasn't trying at all in my appearance, then people might think I wasn't trying in my work, either. So I went for a happy medium. Proper pants in the winter, capri pants in the summer, and a range of tops which sit all over the spectrum from 'business' to 'casual-ish'.
In my new workplace, the dress code is 'business'. That's pretty daunting, and I feel especially so for someone of my size! The range of clothes available to me is pretty limited. And I limit myself further in what I prefer and what looks good on me. Here's the 'no' list:
NO skirts or dresses! Pants only for me. I used to wear skirts to work years ago. But now ... I have too much to do all day without worrying about whether my skirt is creeping half-way up my leg or if my thighs are rubbing together.
NO shirts! Or at least - no tops with a detail down the front. If the upper half has buttons etc., that's fine. But if there's any detail on the lower half, it just draws attention to my large stomach. And, lawd help me, especially not wrap tops! They just make my chest appear even smaller than it already is.
Additionally, I'm not at the point yet where I can wear a top tucked in, or with a belt. ... Well, a belt is OK as long as it goes just under my bust, and the upper part poufs over.
(When I say '"I'm not at the point yet", do I mean physically or mentally? I'm not really sure of that myself!)
NO long sleeves! Or 3/4 sleeves. They have to be short or I get too hot and the feel of them on my arms is annoying. A lot of people say that girls with big arms shouldn't wear cap sleeves, but I think they're cute, so I don't care. As for sleeveless? Well, you have to be very careful or it looks too casual. If I found the right garment, and it was a very hot day, I might be able to summon up my fabulous alter-ego and give sleeveless a go...
NO white! And probably not beige or yellow either. Not because, as they say, white makes you look bigger, but because white shows up stains worse and I always worry that it's become see-through. (I do look good in most colours except yellow and light orange shades anyway.)
NO heels! I can only wear flat shoes. And only certain types. I love ballet flats, so that's OK. But I can only wear ones that are elasticated or they slip right off and/or rub badly on my heels. Mary Janes (that have a strap over the top) are fine also, but they must have a soft heel or, again, I'll get terrible blisters. Winter is OK because I can just wear ankle boots. I hate shoe shopping, as you can imagine!
That's a fairly specific order, isn't it? Hm, I may have some trouble.
I'm probably being a bit premature here. I don't have any details on what the dress code really is, just a vague description of 'business'. I should probably wait until I have more information - see if there's a guide in my welcome pack, or observe what all the other women are wearing and take my cues from that. But I can't help thinking/worrying about it already, and I do like to be prepared. For fun I had a bit of a trawl through the intertubes, and here are a few outfits that I can see myself wearing:
Jessica from My Life & Style Blog
I would probably look for a jacket/cardigan with short sleeves, though.
And flats, of course.
Random pic from google.
This top has a nice ruffle detail on the bust,
but is smooth over the stomach.
Another random pic from google.
The little ruffle at the shoulder would probably
make me feel slightly less bare-armed!
Jessica from My Life & Style Blog again.
Love this black outfit with coloured layer over the top.
I have a red shrug I wear this way.
Pic from a site with tips for over 40s. Kinda demoralising. =(
This top is quite nice.
Colourful without being circusy.
It was quite hard coming up with these. It was all shirt, shirt, shirt, wrap top, shirt. A bit depressing, really. And, like I said before, I'm not really sure what I'll be able to get away with.
Tomorrow I might look for some outfits that I'd wear if size/availability were not an issue at all, for a bit of inspiration.
At my current job, the dress code is 'business casual'. Being in an area where there's a certain amount of physical labour involved each day, the management are quite lenient and it tends to veer more towards the 'casual' end of the spectrum. (The only real restriction is no jeans except on Fridays.) For a while, after being convinced by some friends that it would be good for my career, I tried wearing more upmarket clothes. But they kept getting ripped when they got caught on things, and dusty when I was in the storage area, not to mention stained when I spilt coffee etc. on them. It was very frustrating - ruining these fancy clothes that I'd spent so much money on. Another important factor is that I felt like a right wally dressed up to the nines when I was pushing a trolley around delivering people's mail. So once I'd ruined all those clothes, I went to the other end of the spectrum and went as cheap and casual as I could get away with. But that didn't feel right either. I felt like a bit of a slob. I felt like - if I wasn't trying at all in my appearance, then people might think I wasn't trying in my work, either. So I went for a happy medium. Proper pants in the winter, capri pants in the summer, and a range of tops which sit all over the spectrum from 'business' to 'casual-ish'.
In my new workplace, the dress code is 'business'. That's pretty daunting, and I feel especially so for someone of my size! The range of clothes available to me is pretty limited. And I limit myself further in what I prefer and what looks good on me. Here's the 'no' list:
NO skirts or dresses! Pants only for me. I used to wear skirts to work years ago. But now ... I have too much to do all day without worrying about whether my skirt is creeping half-way up my leg or if my thighs are rubbing together. NO shirts! Or at least - no tops with a detail down the front. If the upper half has buttons etc., that's fine. But if there's any detail on the lower half, it just draws attention to my large stomach. And, lawd help me, especially not wrap tops! They just make my chest appear even smaller than it already is. Additionally, I'm not at the point yet where I can wear a top tucked in, or with a belt. ... Well, a belt is OK as long as it goes just under my bust, and the upper part poufs over.
(When I say '"I'm not at the point yet", do I mean physically or mentally? I'm not really sure of that myself!)
NO long sleeves! Or 3/4 sleeves. They have to be short or I get too hot and the feel of them on my arms is annoying. A lot of people say that girls with big arms shouldn't wear cap sleeves, but I think they're cute, so I don't care. As for sleeveless? Well, you have to be very careful or it looks too casual. If I found the right garment, and it was a very hot day, I might be able to summon up my fabulous alter-ego and give sleeveless a go... NO white! And probably not beige or yellow either. Not because, as they say, white makes you look bigger, but because white shows up stains worse and I always worry that it's become see-through. (I do look good in most colours except yellow and light orange shades anyway.) NO heels! I can only wear flat shoes. And only certain types. I love ballet flats, so that's OK. But I can only wear ones that are elasticated or they slip right off and/or rub badly on my heels. Mary Janes (that have a strap over the top) are fine also, but they must have a soft heel or, again, I'll get terrible blisters. Winter is OK because I can just wear ankle boots. I hate shoe shopping, as you can imagine!That's a fairly specific order, isn't it? Hm, I may have some trouble.
I'm probably being a bit premature here. I don't have any details on what the dress code really is, just a vague description of 'business'. I should probably wait until I have more information - see if there's a guide in my welcome pack, or observe what all the other women are wearing and take my cues from that. But I can't help thinking/worrying about it already, and I do like to be prepared. For fun I had a bit of a trawl through the intertubes, and here are a few outfits that I can see myself wearing:
Jessica from My Life & Style Blog
I would probably look for a jacket/cardigan with short sleeves, though.
And flats, of course.
Random pic from google.
This top has a nice ruffle detail on the bust,
but is smooth over the stomach.
Another random pic from google.
The little ruffle at the shoulder would probably
make me feel slightly less bare-armed!
Jessica from My Life & Style Blog again.
Love this black outfit with coloured layer over the top.
I have a red shrug I wear this way.
Pic from a site with tips for over 40s. Kinda demoralising. =(
This top is quite nice.
Colourful without being circusy.
It was quite hard coming up with these. It was all shirt, shirt, shirt, wrap top, shirt. A bit depressing, really. And, like I said before, I'm not really sure what I'll be able to get away with.
Tomorrow I might look for some outfits that I'd wear if size/availability were not an issue at all, for a bit of inspiration.
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