I've been 'away' for a little bit, haven't I? Time just flies by.
Since I started my new job, I honestly feel like time has been going ten times as fast as normal. I tell a friend I'll call or email the next day, and all of a sudden a week has passed. My to-do list is clogged with overdue to-do's. Things pop up on my calendar with alarming suddenness. It's really kinda crazy.
I have to admit, things haven't been going so well lately. I'm still bogged down with feeling tired all the time. I haven't been eating as well lately, either. I don't have the energy to put the effort and organisation in that it needs. At least I've started working on some craft projects again, which always makes me happier.
Things have started happening in my head though. I've had some dreams lately which are clearly trying to tell me something important. I tend to have a habit of pushing those kind of deep thoughts/ideas away, because I don't have time to think them through properly. 99% of my personal journal entries end with "... and I don't have time to finish because I have to ..." (sometimes with swear words thrown in!) It became extremely frustrating, so I've been writing in my journal less and less lately. Not at all, in fact. I've stopped writing, stopped thinking, stopped trying to change. I've been doing it for years, in fact. And things have been slowly going downhill to a point where I'm completely in denial.
The dreams and discussions I've been having lately have brought things to the forefront, though. Perhaps things have gotten so bad that my subconscious is going, "I'm sick of this crap! That's enough!" Who knows? What will happen next? Who knows?
Just tonight I found this blog post by the gorgeous Stephanie Zwicky, comedienne and style icon of Paris. I'm a regular stalker on her blog. The highly personal post explains her life story and relationship to her body/weight, and is called
My Body I Love You. (It's translated from French so the grammar isn't perfect, but the message certainly gets across.) This link is added to my inspirational link list!
