I'm not really going to rant, so I don't know why I put that as the title. It just sounded good.
Not much to report on again this week. It was very busy at work so I didn't have much energy for exercising. However, I did walk on Tuesday, and I did create an Exercise Log. It's just an excel spreadsheet with a page for each month. Each day is represented, whether I did actually exercise or not. That way, I can look at it and see at a glance if I exercised 3 days in a row - or didn't exercise 3 days in a row! I can also see quickly if I'm doing a variety of exercises or I'm starting to get a bit same-same and need to mix it up a bit.
I used to be mad into lists etc that I'd created on spreadsheets. I would watch a movie, read a book or finish a craft project just so that I could cross it off my spreadsheet. I would spend hours adding to them, tweaking them, adding colours and making them pretty. Since I started my new job though, they've really been put on the backburner. Whether it's the time needed to maintain them, or all the things in them that I'd been planning to do that I don't have the time and energy to do right now, I don't know. Anyway, the point I'm getting to with this is - I really hope this Exercise Log spreadsheet can fire up at least a little of the excitement I used to have with all my spreadsheets. Will I be motivated to exercise so that there aren't too many blank gaps in my calendar? Will I be just itching to see my progress as I walk further, lift more, play Kinect for longer?
Meanwhile ...
You see, there's this girl at my work. She's absolutely lovely and cute. She works around the other side of the office, so I don't see her every day, but whenever I do, she's wearing the cutest outfits. One time, she wore a skirt with a large, retro floral print on it. A couple of times, a burgundy velvet dress with tights. I really admire it. Rocking the individualistic office wear! The thing that makes me feel so uplifted when I see her outfits though, is that she's ... well, how can I put it? I hate to categorise people, but I'd say she's about a size 18 (though I'm not very good at guessing these things).
OK, I know this makes it sound like I'm stalking her or something, but I think I just have a new fashion crush, that's all! You girls understand, right?
Having seen her a few times in the last week, I've come to realise that I freakin' hate my work clothes! Oh god, I can't stand them! They do not express who I am one tiny little bit. It drives me nuts.
I'm heavily inspired to get me to the hobby room and sew myself a cute floral skirt. I would just need a black top to wear it with (which hopefully won't be too hard to fined) and I'll be set. I'm not good enough yet to sew a dress that I could leave the house in, but perhaps one day soon.....
But then Negative Brain kicks in and says, you won't have the guts to wear that in public! You'll just look like a fat fool. And all that time and effort will be wasted!
Geez, I hate Negative Brain. She really spoils everything, doesn't she?
But then I was reading some of my positive links last night and I realised -
it doesn't matter what I wear. Haters are gonna be haters. They just are. There's nothing you can do to change their minds. (That's plainly clear from some of the trolling I've heard about online.)
When I walk down the street, there's going to be a certain percentage of people who'll laugh, who'll point, who'll look away in pity or disgust. They'll just see the body, not the person. It doesn't matter if I'm wearing a shapeless black floor-length muumuu, or a horizontally striped mini dress with hot pink tights.
So, to follow that logic, it makes sense to just wear whatever I like, and say, (in the words of wise Janet):
"fuck 'em"!!
