Last night I went to the supermarket on the way home to get some things for dinner. Was starving hungry (not a good time to shop, I know!). Haven't had time to have afternoon tea before I leave work this week, we've been short-staffed and I was too busy. Plus I've been walking part of the way home every night. That means the hungry-beast was on the loose! Was starting to fall into that familiar struggle of wandering around the supermarket so hungry, craving something really unhealthy, and desperately trying to find something healthy that would do instead. Came across a jar of bocconcini cheese in brine in the sale section. I thought, why not? I had them dipped in a little olive oil and mixed herbs. Probably not as healthy a snack as it could have been, but definitely more sophisticated. ;)
Then last night I was browsing fashion blogs. Overall I find it a really positive thing to do. But when I do, I've noticed I have a lot of different reactions all happening at the same time:
* Excited and positive seeing ladies of all different shapes and sizes, in all different types of outfits, being fabulous! I don't feel alone anymore. Yay for the blogosphere! It makes me feel that I could be like them. That I can look sophisticated and professional in work-wear (ref. to my rant the other day). It makes me want to start a fashion blog of my own!
* Less pressured. I'm starting to lose that thought I used to have - that I have to lose X amount of weight before I can start dressing like I really want to. Before I can do that bellydancing class, or make that Japanese street fashion-inspired outfit I've been dreaming of. Or even show photos of my sewing projects on my craft blog. Not that I've actually done any of these things yet, but it just seems more possible than before, if that makes sense. :) And so, losing the maximum amount of weight RightNowDammit!! doesn't seem quite so urgent.
* A bit sad and disappointed in myself that I don't have the confidence to dress like that and be like that. But I'm definitely further along on my path than I was say, a year ago. Back then, I used to read my Shop Til you Drop magazine and think: when I've lost weight, that's what I'll wear and that's where I'll shop. Now, I read it and think: where can I get clothes like that in my size? How can I take bits of a fashion I like and add them to my look? Do I have the ability to make clothes like that in my size?
* Angry and frustrated that here in Australia I can't get most of the fabulous clothes I see. And the few I can get are overpriced! Some of the U.S. and U.K. webshops post internationally now, but they have very high shipping, and I like to try clothes on before I buy them. I have a fairly unusual body shape, and anything fitted just doesn't seem to sit right on me. And anything not fitted I could probably make myself, if I could find the right fabric. And speaking of:
* Really motivated to get crafty and sew some clothes of my own! I get all righteous and think, why should I let some marketing person who's only out to appeal to the great masses decide what I get to wear?! I'll just make my own, dammmmmit! Anika makes all her own clothes herself. Georgina and Gabi have altered clothes with great success. (Georgina also designs her own fabric and makes dresses from it, and she makes and sells her own jewellery - she's my current crafty idol!)
So why can't I just make clothes that exactly fit the vision in my head of how I want to look?? (Part of me cringed even still when I wrote that last bit, but that's an over-share for another day.)
Gosh, I've gone on quite a bit today, haven't I? Sorry about that. Off to lunch now!