Last night I didn't do any exercise at all, not a bit! All day, I kept telling myself I was going to do it. I'd do it, and then do something nice as a reward, like give myself a facial. And told myself, I had to do it before I did anything fun like reading or surfing the internet. And it wasn't even really hard exercise - it was just to do some stretching or toning. Wednesday's a very busy day at work, so I decided that would be my light exercise day. But even still, it all flies out the window when I get home. After 45 mins or more of standing on public transport, being jostled this way and that, worrying about whether I'll run into creepy-staring-man or scary-stalky-man, I'm tired. I feel like I deserve a rest after working all day. All I want to do is sit on the couch and read and have a cup of tea. It's something that I just can't get past at the moment. I really tried last night! I tried to do something constructive - listen to one of my meditation podcasts - but I ended up falling alseep! So perhaps I should run with this at the moment instead of trying to change it.
This week's been particularly bad, work's been pretty crazy. Lots of things have gone wrong - they're no-one's fault, but things we can't do anything about. So there's been a lot of frustration and grumpiness flying about. I've had bad hayfever every day this week, too. It's driving me nuts. Sniffing and sneezing while I'm trying to work. Having to blow my nose every five minutes.
The other day I mentioned the Inside-Out Weight Loss podcast. Yesterday I went to the website and checked out the programme. Well, the website wouldn't display properly because the browsers we have here at work are so old. (That's something that constantly annoys me!) But as far as I can tell, there is a fee for it which is too expensive for me. So I will not be joining up for that one. Just stick with the free podcast for now. But my motivation level was feeling a bit deflated after that.
Next up on the whinge list is my pants. I hate my pants! I have a certain number of work pants, just enough to get me through the week. But there are these two pairs that both make me feel really frumpy and short when I wear them. The length and the cut are just wrong on me. Yet I seem to end up having to wear one or both of them every single week. It drives me nuts! I chose to wear the grey ones today - I seemed to hate them slightly less than the brown ones when I woke up this morning - but I forgot that there's a split seam where the zip is and I have to wear a long top or the safety pin I put in to keep the seam shut shows. Plus it's irritating (both physically and emotionally, hah!). The other pair have an elastic waist, but they're even baggier and I didn't feel like wearing brown today. So I've got my grump on thoroughly! I'm trying to save money at the moment, but I'm so thoroughly fed up that I've resolved to go shopping tonight. I'm sick of wearing clothes that make me feel frumpy, sick of wearing shoes that have holes in them and all the support in them's been squashed flat so my feet hurt after doing a delivery. I want something girly that will make me feel special. I want something new and different. I'm bored!
Let's see, what else is annoying me this week?
In Other News ...
Don't feel like going for my Lunchtime Walk today. I can't get up the motivation, no matter how hard I try, no matter what rewards I promise myself. I just have this feeling that I don't want to go outside. It's not the exercising that I'm having an aversion to in itself, it's going outside. Sometimes I think, when we don't feel like doing things, it's not laziness. It's some other instinct. Perhaps I'm not meant to go outside today. Umph. Maybe that's just the Grumpy Monster's excuse. Who knows?
