I guess some things have been percolating away in my brain this week, because I've done a couple of small things to change. On Wednesday, I went out to lunch, and though I did order dessert, I didn't eat all of it. There were only a couple of bites left, but I was feeling full. Instead of just eating it anyway like is my old habit, I left it.
Then I weighed myself the yesterday morning. I haven't done that in ages. I have it on my Things To Do app (repeating once a fortnight), but every time it comes up, I've been moving it to the next week. Turns out I've been doing that for the 5 months! As the last time I recorded my weight was in March. oooops! And yes, I have put on weight. I'm still below my starting weight, so not all is lost. I wasn't really upset when I saw the number - it was to be expected considering my lifestyle recently, and I'm so sick of beating myself up, wasting that energy, that I didn't even bother. I just felt a sort of quiet determination.
Then this morning i re-arranged my ipod a bit. I have some exercise and weight loss apps that I was trialling. I moved them to the front page in a separate folder so I won't forget they're there. I was trialling a couple that track weight loss with stats, graphs, etc. Previously I hadn't been able to decide which one I wanted to go with. Today I decided to go with Weight Diary Free and entered my current weight in it. (I'm going to check out the paid version and upgrade if it's worth it. Maybe I'll do a review of some soon!) Seeing that graph line going up instead of down made me sad, but again, rather than getting all depressed, I felt determined.
This morning in the shower as well, I was thinking about the concept of Healthy At Every Size. I'm all for it. In my last post, I wrote that I'm not healthy. I think that's actually not true. Yes, I do have some ailments, but they don't stop me from physically doing anything I want to do. I'll admit that one of them is most likely weight-related (high blood pressure), but none of the others are. (And may I point out that I pay the full price for my blood pressure medication - I don't get any tax-payer-funded concessions!) In fact, I've even had one ailment normally associated with overwight (fatty liver) which has gone away, even though at the time I gained weight rather than lost it! That does even my head in! Everyone's idea of what is healthy is different, I think, just like everyone's body is different.
Anyway, I think my point is that in my last post, I was getting 'healthy' and 'fit' mixed up. (They're definitely related, but I don't have time for a semantics discussion right now!) I'm fairly healthy for someone of my weight, but definitely not very fit. Seeing Healthy At Every Size mentioned, makes me remember that my primary want/goal is to be fitter and healthier. I feel motivated to revive my running programme that I created a couple of years ago in response to the Couch to 5K programmes that are out there (which I called the Bed to Couch or B2C). More on that later!
