Yesterday someone at work found out that it was my birthday and in the afternoon my workmates rushed out and bought me some flowers and chocolates! How absolutely lovely! I was so embarrassed and so pleased. Having only been there 3 months, it really made me feel like I'm appreciated and I'm starting to fit in. Then last night Husband made me a delicious meal, and I got lots of messages wishing me a happy birthday. Even though I didn't do anything above and beyond the ordinary, it was really lovely. I spent most of the evening just relaxing, and did a little bit of craft. Nice.
Today I'm really tired. But I know why - I haven't had my juice! Since we got the juicer, Husband and I have been having a glass in the mornings before work. We've been adding a little protein powder, aloe vera juice and olive leaf extract. Protein gives you energy, aloe vera soothes my colitis, and I can't remember what the olive leaf is for right now! All I know is, on mornings when we don't drink the juice for whatever reason, I'm dead tired all day. When I do drink it, I feel pretty normal. So yeah, go the juice!
I also weighed myself this morning - bad idea! Guess Easter's caught up with me. I don't wanna talk about it! Time to examine my habits again and make an effort to change them. To wit -
1. often very busy at work in the afternoons, not paying attention to whether I'm hungry, therefore I'm usually starving before I'm even halfway home and I'm raiding the cupboards as soon as I get home;
2. usually exhausted after work, with no energy for exercising;
3. not paying enough attention to what I'm eating and what's in it, especially at home and on the weekends;
4. not exercising on the weekend, the exact time when I have plenty of time and scads of energy; why am I not taking advantage of this?? answer: because other activities are more compelling (i.e. I'm lazy!);
5. staying up later than I should because I'm not sleepy at the right time, and/or taking (herbal) sleeping tablets to help me sleep;
6. letting negative thoughts take over my life and affect my behaviour/enjoyment of life;
7. a few other personal things which I'm too embarrassed to reveal here.
Interestingly, I'm more than willing to list what I don't like about my current routine, but now that it's time to figure out how to change it, I'm stalling. Ah well, that's always the way, isn't it? It's not because I can't think of what to do. It's because I don't really believe I'll go ahead and do it. I can't count the number of times I've made resolutions, drawn up goals, created timetables and schedules and lists of rules. And I've never stuck to any of them! Not for more than a few days/weeks, anyway.
However, I'm determined, so I'm going to force myself to come up with at least one solution for each of the above problems. Think of it like a brainstorming exercise.
1. get a supply of muesli bars or something and, earlier in the day, put one in a visible place as a reminder; get a selection of convenient healthy snacks that I can grab and eat at home, healthier versions of what I normally crave.
2. go for walks at lunchtime. sure, the exercise isn't as vigorous or lengthy as it could be, but at least it's a start.
3. prepare ahead of time for meals on the weekend, just like I prepare for the working week. Go to the supermarket a second time on Thursday or Friday so we don't run out of fresh food by the weekend. I have more time to cook on the weekend, so make it fun by trying out a new recipe or ingredient.
4. this is a hard one! perhaps concentrate on more interesting exercises rather than just walking (hello kinect!) Turn it into something fun like a shopping trip or take my camera if going for a walk. Give myself a treat (though it's hard for me to think of treats other than food). Make a rule that I can't go on the computer until I've exercised. (Actually that works better than you might think for me, because if I've already exercised then I don't have to feel guilty. Maybe a little emotionally unhealthy, but if it works, right? hmmm)
5. re-training myself to go to bed earlier through persistence. Setting the DVR to record interesting shows so I'm not tempted to stay up later. Using meditation techniques so I'm more relaxed around bedtime.
6. being more mindful of my thoughts and countering/questioning them. Reminding myself when I'm in a sad mood that it's OK and it will pass. Using meditation to help with anxiety.
7. hopefully some of the things in point 6 and other positive changes will help with these things. (I know I'm being vague, but I don't care!)
Tonight I'll have another look at this and see if I can condense it down into 2 or 3 of the most helpful and do-able changes.
