Over Christmas, one of my friends had a health scare. Well, it was a lot more than just a scare -- he'll be going home with less bits than he went in with. I won't go into any more detail, as it's not my story to tell. What I can tell you though, is that it's shaken us all up a bit. His wife and family are freaking out. We're all worried about him. And it's made us all re-think how (if?) we've been looking after ourselves in the last few years.
I certainly haven't been looking after myself as well as I could have, I know that. But that's a topic for a future post. Right now, I'm feeling for my friends (both husband and wife) and their families, and all our friends. I'm worried about all the things he's committed to and how they will work themselves out with him in hospital and later, recovering.
I'm also noticing some feelings and thoughts coming up in myself that I don't like, that I'm ashamed of. I'm not angry at my friend -- even though this is a situation that could have been prevented if he'd taken better care of himself in the last few years. I started having thoughts that I didn't like. How stereotypical it is for this to happen. How embarrassed he must be. How embarrassed I would be if it happened to me. How frustrating it is because I don't want to feed into the biased and uninformed views of the healthist elite.
And trying to think back and analyse -- just how badly had he been eating? How much worse compared to me? Could I get away with my current levels of everything that I'd be OK? And yeah, I was also a bit scared that it might happen to me, too.
I didn't mean to make this post all about me. I guess I'm a bit confused at the moment.
