Call it Monday talking, but I'm ready to overhaul my life! Well, parts of it at least. Well, not really, that's a bit scary. Or just be more OK about stuff, anyway. There, that's less scary!
Even though I spent about 5 solid hours cleaning on Saturday, I can still say I mostly had a very nice weekend. It was wonderful to spend time with friends and family. It's so lovely when friends are family, and family are friends. I'd like to acknowledge this more.
This morning I made a few changes to my Ralph Plan. The main change is that I made regular house cleaning a more formal part of it. 'Cleaning' is one of those eek! words for me. I'm happy to tidy up all day long, but cleaning gives me the willies. When you have a pile of stuff to tidy, you know it's finished when the pile is gone. But with cleaning ... no matter how hard you scrub, you never know 100% if it's really clean. And having my hands in the sweaty rubber gloves sets off my eczema. And dusting sets off my hayfever. Eugh, I'm getting anxious just thinking about it!
Recently I re-discovered The Fluent Self Blog and have been reading the archives quite a bit. Havi believes that becoming a better person and overcoming your issues doesn't have to be a grind, it can be fun. She seems to work things out in a similar way to me (Or I would, if I were actually working things out, says negative brain). Having conversations with parts of herself, re-naming scary things, etc. For example, one day she and her friends were playing with words, and her friend accidentally said 'iguana-bility' instead of 'accountability'. So now she calls things that she doesn't want to do 'iguanas' to make them seem less insurmountable. Hm, iguanas are one of my favourite animals, so I don't think I would use that exact word, but I like the idea!
Words/concepts that I'd like to find new words for:
cleaning ; tasks I need to do but don't want to ; making phone calls in particular ; negative thoughts ; the thing behind the negative thoughts ; things which are good and I want to do but my brain reacts by automatically saying, "I don't deserve that" ; things that I know are good for me and aren't that scary but I still don't do ; the g-word (goals) ; I can't think of any more at the moment, but I'm sure there are more.
In Other News ...
I've been going on my lunchtime walks regularly (4 times last week, yeah!) and been trying to pay more attention to what I eat. Not eating until I'm stuffed, just because the food is there, that sort of thing. It's going semi-well. I've been doing my Pages every single day as well. I think that's 10 or 11 days now. I'm proud of myself. I don't think I'll have time to do an Epic Walk of the Week this week, but I'm not fussed because the housework should make up for it!
