There have been a few small developments since my last post. On Sunday I ordered the book that was recommended to me, 168 Hours. The review I read of it said that it starts out by asking you to record everything you do for a week and how much time you spend doing it. I thought I may as well start doing that straight away and get a head start. Plus, when it gets to the activities in books like this, I tend to skip over them and keep reading, so I don't get the full benefit out of them. This way, the activity is already done before I even start reading.
Obviously I started yesterday morning. I'm trying to keep my routine as it has been instead of trying to change, so I can gauge the true picture. Though I'm aware (like with sub-atomic particles!), as soon as you start to observe something, its behaviour changes. (Have you ever been out in public somewhere, minding your own business, then suddenly noticed a CCTV Camera? I know I always feel different when I realise.) Still, true to form, I've stayed up way too late the last few nights, and now I'm bone-tired. I'm blaming the tennis.
Meanwhile ...
I went for my first lunchtime walk of the year yesterday! I'm easing myself back into it (my legs are occasionally still a bit wobbly), so I only went half as far as I had been. I really had to push through that 'egh, I can't be bothered' factor. I felt pretty self-conscious - I was wearing one of the tops I don't really like - and uncomfortable, like it was an odd thing to be doing. But I suppose I would have that feeling after not doing it for nearly a month. I just need to keep going and I'm sure everything will be fine.
In Related News ...
I was thinking yesterday - for a long time I stopped believed that I really can lose weight. Or even that I could become significantly fitter than I am now. That I could ever do the Couch to 5kms programme, for example. Since I started doing my Epic Walks again a few months ago, my thinking has changed back a bit, and I can see it happening ... just not for a very long time. I mean, I always knew it would take a long time, at least a couple of years, but it's just one of a number of priorities I have in my life, so it's going to take longer than if I dropped everything else and concentrated on just that.
And I suppose that's tied up to another line of thinking that I've been on lately - that I don't want to wait 2 or 5 year to start doing stuff. So many times, even now, I catch myself thinking of something I'd like to do, or some place I'd like to go, and then thinking, 'nahhhh, not til I've lost some weight'. I'm pretty ashamed to admit that. I still have a lot of work to do, obviously.
Lately, I've been thinking that I don't want to wait! I want to start doing stuff now! In the last few days, I've been obsessed with sewing a dress. When I was putting on my pretty dress getting ready to go out on Saturday night, I tried slipping it on over my head instead of using the zip (I was very careful!). It worked, so that means if I can get/draft a pattern for a similar style, it won't need a zip (the part I'm most intimidated by). Aside from that, the style is quite simple and I could probably churn out a bunch of them without any problems. Fancy having a whole rack full of adorable 50s-style sundresses! I'm swooning. And I could make some in more professional colours and with cap sleeves to wear to work (perhaps a navy-blue pinstripe?) instead of wearing boring black pants every day.
I think at lunch time I will make up a list of things that I've been putting off 'until I've lost weight', and then I'll set about doing them!
