13 January 2011

Food, ack!!!

7.40am - Last night I was really stressed out and I ate some Weight Watchers lamington bars. Sure, they're low-kj - well, one is! But I ate 5. Oops. When I grabbed the packet, I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I took it over to the couch and had it next to me while I was reading. When I opened the box, I saw that they were individually wrapped and thought, damn! It's more effort to eat more and I have more opportunity to think about what I'm eating! But I want to eat them so bad! They were so sweet and good. I actually thought about how eating them (more than one, that is) would be going against my intentions and damaging my efforts, but I ate them anyway. It's like my body and my brain are on two tracks going in different directions, and no matter what my brain thinks, my body just does whatever it wants. Ack!!

This morning soon after I got up, my back started to hurt. It's that thing I get occasionally in my lower back. I don't know how it starts or how to make it go away. It makes it painful to bend over, and I have to hold myself very straight to minimise the pain. Usually it goes away after a couple of days. I really hope it goes away quickly this time! Because this is the last thing I need with sorting through stuff and packing boxes. On the bright side, I've already accepted that I won't be able to exercise ('normal' exercise!) in the next couple of weeks, so at least doing my back won't be interfering with that. Otherwise I'd be even more frustrated!

1.49pm - Was supposed to have enough salad left to last today and tomorrow, but ate it all. At the time, I just thought, "oh well, I'll have to buy lunch tomorrow. I'm trying to save money at the moment, so having to spend the money will be like my 'punishment'". This shows that I'm really very stressed at the moment - my thoughts just aren't making sense at all. I'm too busy and tired to think of ways to cope with it that don't involve eating too much food.
Wish I had some more of those Weight Watchers lamingtons. Mmmmm.
*sighs*

This post was transferred from calorieking.com.au