Wow, I must be mad! I must be completely barking!What was I thinking?!
That's what I keep saying to myself over and over at the moment. I've gone and applied to be a Fit Consultant for a large-sizes clothing store. If I get in, they'll send me free clothes 3 or 4 times a year, and in return I send them photos of myself wearing them, and tell them how they fit me. Sounds good, huh?
Ohgeez.
Photos? Of me?? Full-length photos?? Ohgeez!
I had to send one in as part of the application. It was kinda hard. I looked at it and thought, "ohgeez, am I really that fat??! And now I'm sending it off to complete strangers?? Ohgeez!" I had to keep reminding myself that these people work for a company that specialises in larger sizes. Of course they're going to see photos of people as fat as me, all day long!
I enjoyed writing the application, but I was still freaking out about the photo. Then another part of my brain kicked in and started going, "think of all the free clothes, woman!" And I clicked Send.
Then I remembered the bit about taking photos of myself and sending them on a regular basis. And I started going, "ohgeez, ohgeez!" again. But really, it'll be OK. Perhaps it'll even be good for me! I believe that one of the «How to Be a Fat Bitch» e-course lessons is on taking photos of yourself. So it's all intertwined, really. (Yes, I'm waaaay behind on that, hopefully I'll have time to catch up next week.)
My other consideration was this: a while back, I put a link on my craft blog sidebar linking to this blog. It must have seemed like a good idea at the time! I don't mind if people with body image issues read this blog. Perhaps it might help them. If crafty people with body issues find this blog through my craft blog, then that's okay too! (Though I can't imagine anyone reading this blog on an ongoing basis, it must be dead boring for a reader!) But lately I've been pondering whether I really want people to connect from that blog to this one. An example: I told someone at work I have a craft blog, and she was interested in seeing it. I told her I was really shy about it and not really ready to share it with people. (Which is so daft really! I mean, five years ago I used to print my blog address on my zines that I sold in my store! How out-there was I back then?) After letting things percolate for some time, I realised that half the reason why I was hesitant to share my craft blog was that darned link! I had this paradox of wanting to share this blog with some of the readers of my craft blog, but not all. It was holding me back. So I've decided to disconnect them for now. No more meta blog talk today.
Except for - check out my new photo in my sidebar! teehee!
