1.24pm - I ran into an interesting dilemma yesterday. For a while now I've been focussed on N & P's wedding in November, and the outfit I'll wear for it (Dress Code = "something that makes you feel awesome!"). Hmmm!! I'd dearly love to lose a noticeable amount of weight before then - that would make me feel awesome! There's a costume I have in mind, and I've already seen the pieces I would need for it on a few online shops. Though ... of course ... inevitably ... they don't come in my size. But I'm trying not to get too worked up and start thinking that I have to lose weight to try and fit into a certain size. I'm prepared to sew just about every element of the costume myself. It's been years since I've sewn anything, but I'm pretty sure I could make almost everything myself. I'm sure it would save me a lot of money too, and that's no bad thing! I realised the other day that I could sew some elements of it right now, parts I could wear with other outfits, and that could be easily altered if (no, WHEN!) I lose weight! I got so excited about it that when B invited me to go to Spotlight with her, I bought enough fabric to make a blouse and an underskirt. As soon as the hobby room's a little more sorted out, I'll get started.
Now, my dilemma is ... I love making craft, obviously, and I love sharing it on my craft blog. But I hate having my photo taken. Any time I've made a scarf, hat, etc., I've always taken photos of it either lying flat, on my head but without my face showing, or displayed on my head model. Now I'll be making proper garments - ones that go on my body. But I'm hesitant to display them on my body for all the world to see. But then what's the point of spending time and effort on making nice, fancy clothes if I don't want anyone to see my body in them? And what's the point of having a craft blog where I showcase my work if I don't show it off in the most appropriate way? All this is making me realise that it would be helpful to start accepting my body now, rather than waiting and trying not to think about it until I've lost ??kgs. It still won't be perfect. And it's going age later on as well. The brave part of me says that this is an opportunity - to face my fears and become stronger. To be like the girls whose fashion blogs I read and admire. To step out and start becoming the person I want to be. Or maybe I don't have the guts??