On Thursday & Friday of last week I read the next section of the 168 Hours book: You @ Work. (The millionth example of the incorrect use of the asperand, grrr, but anyway...) Having confirmed with the Core Comptencies section that I'm in the right job for me, I have to admit I skimmed over this section a bit. It's more important to me to do my job well and keep on good terms with my colleagues than to increase my efficiency and climb the corporate ladder. Besides, I'm the sort of low-level lackey that has very little influence over how and when I work. So advice like: tell people you're too busy to go to their meeting; or, work 5 hours in the morning and 3 at night, isn't really relevant or useful to me. Still, it may be to some people. I'm looking forward to the You @ Home section. I didn't spend any time reading the book over the weekend, cos I wanted to do recreational reading, not work (on myself) reading.
Turns out this wasn't so successful either - I kept getting the names of the two main characters mixed up and ended up having a nap instead! hahaha
In More Dreamy News ...
I'm a bit tired today because of the ongoing heat and I also had a lot of strange dreams. Occasionally I have a dream that I feel is very important and is trying to tell me something. I often feel really wiped out after these and feel like I need to take time out to think about them. Unfortunately I don't often get the time because I have to go to work! However, today Husband and I had a bit of a chat about it on the way to work, and I think we nutted it out somewhat. I won't go into specifics, but it seemed to be telling me I need to pay attention to things I've been neglecting for years. If I'm finding that hard (as I obviously am), then I need to change the way I think: take things I'm unmotivated to do because I perceive them as negative, and turn them into positives. The damned dream pulled at my heartstrings by personifying the things I've been neglecting as a beloved pet called Ralph. When I woke up I felt a strong urge to start taking better care of poor Ralph, and even now I get tears in my eyes when I think about it. Man, I think there's a part of my brain tucked away somewhere that might make a good art-house film script writer, but anyway.
I suppose the reading of 168 Hours and the time log activity have been percolating away in the back of my mind somewhere. It's not like I don't have time - I have plenty - it's the way that I use it that needs to change. I need to change. I need to do things differently. But it's no good just telling myself that. Heck, I've been telling myself that til I'm blue in the face, for years! I tell myself I'll do it, I don't do it, I feel guilty, I give up. It's a cycle I've been repeating for years. Moving items on my To-Do list to next weekend, over and over. Even when I make up systems and promise myself rewards for completing the tasks, I still don't do them. It just doesn't add up. So what's missing from the equation?
Motivation. I have the intent, but not the motivation. It's just easier to flop on the couch or surf the internet. Even the guilt isn't enough to motivate me. If the chores I have to do were an adorable pet that needed my love and help, then perhaps I'd be much more motivated to pitch in! But I feel this applies, not only to chores, but self-care activities that I've been neglecting - being creative, learning to meditate, thinking through my issues and things like that.
I'm going to spend some time researching and thinking about how I can do things differently. Not only how to DO them differently, but also to THINK about them differently. Poor Ralph needs my help!
